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post #31 of 47 (permalink) Old 03-27-2017, 03:20 PM
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Re: Having no sex with my wife for 10 months now, please help

You're def getting manipulated. She's decided putting sex off until holidays? Lol, I'll bet you don't get it then, either.
She doesn't want sex with you.
Maybe not anyone.

Either way, I'd let her go. She's lying to you. She never wants sex with you.

You will waste years on this relationship that doesn't satisfy your needs if you're not careful.
There are lots of women out there that love sex.

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post #32 of 47 (permalink) Old 03-27-2017, 04:48 PM
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Re: Having no sex with my wife for 10 months now, please help

Dude, I'm in a relationship where I get sex... it's just same old same old to have a baby!!

I'm being told there's lots of women who love sex but ima also struggling to see past my wife who doesn't so it's hard to believe that others might actually like it and want it


Maybe we just got to listen to these guys? Hopefully some of the people saying women love it are females so it's easier to believe
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post #33 of 47 (permalink) Old 03-27-2017, 06:24 PM
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Re: Having no sex with my wife for 10 months now, please help

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Originally Posted by Blokeymcblokeface View Post
Dude, I have this exact same problem.

My wife wants sex to make a baby, she hates oral, she hates me touching her and it makes me so sad
Better work it out with her BEFORE a baby, otherwise you will get attached to the baby and she can threaten you with divorce & limited access to your kid.

Also, once she gets what she wants, you won't get what you want.
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post #34 of 47 (permalink) Old 03-28-2017, 02:58 PM
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Re: Having no sex with my wife for 10 months now, please help

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Originally Posted by terrylee View Post
...To be honest, I sometimes let my thought go randomly just to fulfill my sexual desire when I need it badly. I thought if I can't get it from my wife, I will have other women do it for me one day. And then, sooner or later our relationship will fall into touble for what I did. She will upset and disappoint over the affair I made. But what else can I do?

I will give her choice -- having sex with me, the man you married with, or letting me have sex with other women. See how she reacts. If she agrees to having sex with me but refuses the oral sex (let alone intercouse), then it's better to stop having sex now. Instead we both should necessarily be consulting with a sex therapist and seeking advice for the solutions. That's the only idea I can come up with.
Having sex with another woman outside of your marriage will likely destroy your marriage. If that is the direction you want to take, then sit down with her and figure out how to end your marriage.

Even if you do decide to end your marriage, you need to get some counseling so that the both of you have a shot at making your next marriages work. That is why getting counseling first in an attempt to save you marriage is always a wife approach. You will need to spend the money on counseling sooner or later. If you do it sooner, you may avoid paying more money in divorce attorney fees and court costs.

Your post still assumes you are right and she is wrong. Don't be surprised in in counseling, you learn that you own part of the problems in your marriage.

Good luck.
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post #35 of 47 (permalink) Old 03-28-2017, 11:26 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Having no sex with my wife for 10 months now, please help

Thank you, Young at Heart, for suggestion. Your advice is on the right path to this situation. I and my wife will go through a serious discussion about it. The best way for both of us is to see marriage counselor or sex therapist for the right solution.
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post #36 of 47 (permalink) Old 03-29-2017, 01:27 AM
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Re: Having no sex with my wife for 10 months now, please help

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Thank you, Young at Heart, for suggestion. Your advice is on the right path to this situation. I and my wife will go through a serious discussion about it. The best way for both of us is to see marriage counselor or sex therapist for the right solution.

If you wife started to want sex, but said no to any form of oral or anything involving fingers then would that be acceptable to you?
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post #37 of 47 (permalink) Old 03-29-2017, 02:06 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Having no sex with my wife for 10 months now, please help

If not getting started with the oral or any foreplay, then we would miss a little yet important ingredient during sex. Plus no lube coming out in hers vagina that prevents hurt during intercourse. I doubt what else we can possibly act during sex without the oral or anything involvin fingers, and not taking intercourse into account.
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post #38 of 47 (permalink) Old 03-29-2017, 06:31 AM
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Re: Having no sex with my wife for 10 months now, please help

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I see this question come up quite a bit. What is the relevance? Do different ethnic groups have different drives or attitudes to sex?
Just curious. Not trying to start a fight!
Culture is about as good a predictor of such things as you can get, especially in cross cultural marriage, or marriage of people from the same culture who move to another country or culture...

That and family of origin (FOO).
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post #39 of 47 (permalink) Old 03-29-2017, 02:21 PM
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Re: Having no sex with my wife for 10 months now, please help

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Culture is about as good a predictor of such things as you can get, especially in cross cultural marriage, or marriage of people from the same culture who move to another country or culture...

That and family of origin (FOO).


You mean some cultures are less horny than others? Have studies been done on it I wonder? Or is it too racist.


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post #40 of 47 (permalink) Old 03-29-2017, 03:10 PM
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Re: Having no sex with my wife for 10 months now, please help

I also think it's to do with upbringing , although my wife's family are all very open about it and she's the only closed off one who isn't interested ... I chose the wrong sister it seems haha

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post #41 of 47 (permalink) Old 03-29-2017, 03:29 PM
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Re: Having no sex with my wife for 10 months now, please help

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You mean some cultures are less horny than others? Have studies been done on it I wonder? Or is it too racist.


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Plenty of studies with wildly different results...

http://www.therichest.com/rich-list/...ive-countries/
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post #42 of 47 (permalink) Old 03-29-2017, 07:30 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Having no sex with my wife for 10 months now, please help

Unbelievable... Only 65% of Thailandís citizens report having sex. However Thailand comes to the top of the list of 10 Countries Having The Least Sex, as of 23 Feb 2014.
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post #43 of 47 (permalink) Old 03-29-2017, 08:08 PM
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Re: Having no sex with my wife for 10 months now, please help

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Unbelievable... Only 65% of Thailandís citizens report having sex. However Thailand comes to the top of the list of 10 Countries Having The Least Sex, as of 23 Feb 2014.
As the TAM self proclaimed social sciences expert I will say there's some truth there.

My brother in law spent six months there in the early 80s waiting for medical school admission. He ended up in the Philippines... He reported lots of nookie but not the dating wholesome nookie we associate with relationships​

In general, cultures that are more reserved may have lower sex drives. But it's all about how these cultures see and are seen by westerners. India is probably a more reserved culture than Italy, but Indians wrote Kamasutra so...

I would look for peer reviewed serious publications, not random pieces of work on the internet. But I would definitely consider culture and family of origin. Someone coming from a crazy family is much more likely to have inherited or learned a good set of destructive behaviors...
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post #44 of 47 (permalink) Old 03-29-2017, 08:20 PM
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Re: Having no sex with my wife for 10 months now, please help

To be blunt, your wife needs to understand the prospect of losing you. This will cause her to respect you more and will help to revive her attraction for you.
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post #45 of 47 (permalink) Old 03-30-2017, 01:05 AM
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Re: Having no sex with my wife for 10 months now, please help

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To be blunt, your wife needs to understand the prospect of losing you. This will cause her to respect you more and will help to revive her attraction for you.

Best advice ever.... who should do the talking ?
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