anitagrace2

i think he is a bloody ideat who want breakup after 8 years.

deejov

an Ideat who is trolling posts and can't spell? Next.

accept

That wasnt nice. Many here cant spell or even write English correctly. That doesnt mean they have nothing meaningful to say. Marriage is not something which only English people do. If anything other cultures do it much more.

Noel1987

even i read only the title i feel so sorry about you 8 years is a god damn long enough to understand each other i will only say go for the long term thing, do not stick with it.

desert-rose

You might love each other, but love is definitely not enough to sustain a relationship.

You think that sticking it out and hoping he will change and treat you better will yield the reward you seek with him. It won't. The only thing that will teach him that you have any value is you dumping him and him having to think about why.

This is only going to get worse. I know you love him, but you cannot live your life just for him. Please, take some time apart. If you don't want anyone else, then fine, but as he leaves for months at a time, why can't you? Just tell him you want a break for 3 month to figure some stuff out and focus on you. No contact during that time. Trust me....you'll be seeing much more clearly after that and you will be able to decide what you want to do. And, in that time, either he will learn to respect you or he will show you that he only cares for himself.

I love the heck out of my WH, but he loves himself and his pleasure more than me and the neglect and unfair fighting and cheating and verbal abuse has turned to threats of violence. I have to fight myself every day to stop being an enabler, to keep myself closed up and not invite the bad behavior. You are enabling him to treat you like crap. Stop it. You need to treat yourself better than this, no matter how much you love him. Take a break from him. You deserve to be loved. This behavior isn't loving. His love for you is certainly not anywhere near the top ten priorities of his life, even though yours is your top priority....

I know this isn't what you want to hear, but it's honest.

BreatheLove

Thank you everyone. Ever since the new year started, things are going great. He is the first one to call me up. If I don't text him, he drops me messages saying I love You. During the day also, he texts me. And all I did was give Him a little space, not like I withdrew the Love, but there were somethings like not calling him up every time I was free, and trusting him a little more.
Today I asked him agaon about his behaviour, why he kept talking about leaving me, he said he was angry, it was just anguish that showed up in words. If he really wanted to leave he wouldn't have left. And that He could not imagine a life without me. We havent had a single fight. And we're back to how it was, our Happy Life!
I'm waiting for him to come back in exactly a month.
I wanted to share this with everyone to let them know, that there is hope
I would keep people updated. Why most of the Love stories end up here is because we never try or wait to fix them.
Once again, thank you for each and every opinion. All of you are wonderful people!

NaturalHeart

This is the only thing I don't like about YOUNG LOVE. I work with young boys and they are always asking me about my high schools days and I tell them NOT TO BE LIKE I WAS. I was too serious at a young age when i should have been dating different men getting to know more people, doing more socializing as opposed to being so serious with one boyfriend that I'm so thankful Im not married to now.

At 22 surely at 14 you haven't experienced living. I know it hurts and it is hard to let go but it is just not worth it when love hurts and someone is running from you to keep from hurting you.

Do you want this man to stay with you to make you feel better or be with you because he knows you are the one, he wants to grow old with you?

rogergrant

I think you really need to have the opportunity to be in the same place for a while. I will say this, you do have stay a little less obsessed. Your relationship is long, but you do not have a formal commitment. He can't think your always going to wait around for him no matter what he does. As I said, you need to set some formal boundaries in your relationship that correlate to what you can tolerate. If he can't live up to those, it just isn't going to work. It sounds like things are better, but you really won't know for sure until he gets back.

Also, is he going to keep leaving again and again? By all means, wait a month. If this is going to be a habit however, I would seriously consider whether you want to stay together with him repeatedly leaving you. Adult relationships involve sacrifice on both sides. He can't just love you but do whatever he wants, especially when it clearly bothers you.

BreatheLove

Things are bad again. After like almost a month when it was all going good.
He used my facebook & disapproved of a guy, who he thought, was flirting with me. He wrote to him as me, normally, trying to make an impression that I am boring. I said nothing to him about it. But then in his profile, this girl kept playing pokes with him and she messaged, so I also started this little chat thingy, just like he did, in my profile with that guy. I wrote nothing offensive, But a little attitude kinda thing creeped up. So,, my bf deleted me from his profile, changed his password all angry and didnt talk to me for 2 days. Thereafter, I sent him a request and told him to accept. he accpeted it. But nw I discovered that he has hidden his relationship status from everyone and the wallposts that i wrote to him. He's hiding us basically. We havent spoken in three days, except that I updated something that made him think I'm hanging out with an old friend who had feelings for me. To which i replied "Nothing"
He hasnt called me ever since. Been like 6 days, we're not normal. Where am I stuck? What do I do? Also, he's coming back to home in like a week.