I have been married for around 2 years now, and I love her dearly but we do miss that spark. Now this is entirely my fault as the spark was never there on s physical level so I can't expect it to appear but as I have got older I just want or need it... is that ridiculous? I want her to want me on a physical level...??? There is always that "but" after "i love her dearly". Maybe I don't understand love even though I've been married 50 years. This was my main criteria in choosing a partner. I wanted someone that wanted me as much as I wanted them. I got it.
We can't talk about anything related to sex as she gets embarrassed and has led a very sheltered life and thinks everyone does it in one position on the bed in darkness , which is fine for her but I came from some much more sexually exciting relationships where I was her first and she has no intentions on changing.. and why would she? It's me who has to change and get rid of my desires to want to kiss with passion and have sex for more then the purpose of producing a baby!! In my case we were both sexually naive. The up side of that is that we learned together. You are too far ahead of her.
We get on ok, kind of like mates.. we have no reason to argue or fall out unless I bring something up and we could just plod along like this forever.
She is desperate for a kid, I agreed and we have tried for twelve months but now she's obsessed, I mean we have sex to 'make a baby' and I know that will die off once she has one. She looks after the mates kids all the time, constantly buying them presents... it's nice but why is she not showing any interest in holiday brochures im bringing home to try and make the most of our kid free time? Why has she just been away for 5 days and when she came back there wasn't a kiss?? Or a iv Missed you she just goes back inside and gets her phone out while i tidy the shed!! You sound like most 70 year old couples I know. What's wrong with this picture?
Iv told her I want to wait for s kid, I want to do exciting things and see places with her but nothing's happened... she has a spark for the kid and that's it.... I feel like we're mates... good ones but I want and need a lover, I need someone who's on my level mentally and physically and isn't obsessed with kids.... iv told her all this and iv told her we need to wait but it just comes down to me having s time limit and I have to decide in 3 months if I want one or it's not fair and why should she stay with me if I can't give her s kid right this min!!! Don't have kids until you are sure. You won't be doing anyone a favor.
She's only 28!!
We have lived together for years, we don't share any passions other than eating out and I don't know what to do!!! Iv given up my hobbies which were fairly extravagant as she didn't share them with me and had no interests even though they are things that can be shared
I need to turn it around from being mates to lovers ... help me.... I don't know what to do
it's breaking my heart it really is
Sorry for the rant I don't expect anyone will get this far