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post #46 of 118 (permalink) Old 03-31-2017, 08:51 AM
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Re: New Guy from UK... Hi all

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OMG!! No! There is nothing wrong with you! There are many couples who have sex many times a week! Especially when young, and before children. You two want different things out of life. There is nothing wrong with you.


I couldn't agree more! OP, there's absolutely nothing wrong with you, or wanting to have sex with your significant other; in fact, that's the way it should be!

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post #47 of 118 (permalink) Old 03-31-2017, 09:41 AM Thread Starter
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Re: New Guy from UK... Hi all

I don't wish to lead anyone up the wrong path. We do have sex, we have sex in the same position and I'm not allowed to do anything new or different and the sex in my eyes is to produce a baby. So I want to re iterate it's not that we don't have sex, it's just it's for a purpose if that makes sense... she's never mentioned sex out side of actually doing it and will not discuss it or allow me to talk about it. I asked her last night if she has any fantasies and she said no she does everything she wants to do... she asked me and said not fantasys but I would love to maybe use my fingers, or perform oral on you or maybe have sex outside of the bedroom and she just said no I don't want to you should respect i don't want to if you love me...

She's right, I should accept her !!

Unfortunately we are already married :/ which makes things harder

I nearly broke up with her or tried seperation because the nights make me so sad, and I just yearn for some company ... she is like a kid to talk to when it comes to adult conversation and I long to be able to talk about sex to a member of the opposite sex and laugh about it or share fantasies or things we would like to do and actually do them
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post #48 of 118 (permalink) Old 03-31-2017, 09:53 AM
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Re: New Guy from UK... Hi all

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I don't wish to lead anyone up the wrong path. We do have sex, we have sex in the same position and I'm not allowed to do anything new or different and the sex in my eyes is to produce a baby. So I want to re iterate it's not that we don't have sex, it's just it's for a purpose if that makes sense... she's never mentioned sex out side of actually doing it and will not discuss it or allow me to talk about it. I asked her last night if she has any fantasies and she said no she does everything she wants to do... she asked me and said not fantasys but I would love to maybe use my fingers, or perform oral on you or maybe have sex outside of the bedroom and she just said no I don't want to you should respect i don't want to if you love me...

She's right, I should accept her !!

Unfortunately we are already married :/ which makes things harder

I nearly broke up with her or tried seperation because the nights make me so sad, and I just yearn for some company ... she is like a kid to talk to when it comes to adult conversation and I long to be able to talk about sex to a member of the opposite sex and laugh about it or share fantasies or things we would like to do and actually do them
OMG stop being such a nice guy and do something about your situation instead of just wallowing in grief. Quit blaming yourself and falling victim for her bs again and again.

What was the point of coming here if you're not going to at least internalize some of the advice you've received and use it to change your perception of your situation???
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post #49 of 118 (permalink) Old 03-31-2017, 09:57 AM
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You are this miserable now. Imagine how you will feel decades from now. You two are not a match. The time to go your separate ways is now.
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post #50 of 118 (permalink) Old 03-31-2017, 10:42 AM Thread Starter
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Re: New Guy from UK... Hi all

Oh no , I am doing something about it ... telling her what I want and if she doesn't like it she can go!!! I deserve to be happy and I'm sure if I search hard enough I'll find a woman who wants the same as me ... it may take time but I won't rush
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post #51 of 118 (permalink) Old 03-31-2017, 12:42 PM
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Re: New Guy from UK... Hi all

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Oh no , I am doing something about it ... telling her what I want and if she doesn't like it she can go!!! I deserve to be happy and I'm sure if I search hard enough I'll find a woman who wants the same as me ... it may take time but I won't rush


Your search won't be as hard as you think.
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post #52 of 118 (permalink) Old 03-31-2017, 12:46 PM
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Re: New Guy from UK... Hi all

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Oh no , I am doing something about it ... telling her what I want and if she doesn't like it she can go!!! I deserve to be happy and I'm sure if I search hard enough I'll find a woman who wants the same as me ... it may take time but I won't rush
What do you plan to tell her OP?
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post #53 of 118 (permalink) Old 03-31-2017, 12:47 PM
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New Guy from UK... Hi all

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Originally Posted by Blokeymcblokeface View Post
I don't wish to lead anyone up the wrong path. We do have sex, we have sex in the same position and I'm not allowed to do anything new or different and the sex in my eyes is to produce a baby. So I want to re iterate it's not that we don't have sex, it's just it's for a purpose if that makes sense... she's never mentioned sex out side of actually doing it and will not discuss it or allow me to talk about it. I asked her last night if she has any fantasies and she said no she does everything she wants to do... she asked me and said not fantasys but I would love to maybe use my fingers, or perform oral on you or maybe have sex outside of the bedroom and she just said no I don't want to you should respect i don't want to if you love me...

She's right, I should accept her !!

Unfortunately we are already married :/ which makes things harder

I nearly broke up with her or tried seperation because the nights make me so sad, and I just yearn for some company ... she is like a kid to talk to when it comes to adult conversation and I long to be able to talk about sex to a member of the opposite sex and laugh about it or share fantasies or things we would like to do and actually do them


You don't have sex. You have attempts at impregnation. That is all. And once she is pregnant you will not even have that.

Her comment that you should accept that if you love her is laughable.

You are extremely lucky. Your wife has already told you how your marriage future is going to be BEFORE any kids come, rather than after.

Heed her warning, and ours.

Last edited by blueinbr; 03-31-2017 at 01:27 PM.
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post #54 of 118 (permalink) Old 03-31-2017, 02:23 PM Thread Starter
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Re: New Guy from UK... Hi all

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Your search won't be as hard as you think.

Right now it seems like a scary prospect
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post #55 of 118 (permalink) Old 03-31-2017, 02:25 PM Thread Starter
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Re: New Guy from UK... Hi all

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What do you plan to tell her OP?

I plan to be brutally honest about how I want her to consider my feeling about her shift patters when the nights are optional

I am going to tell her exactly what I was sexually, and tell her I can't go for the rest of my life without it, it's driving me mad and that I don't expect her to change as that's unfair so I think I should accept that maybe I am too highly driven when it comes to sex and move on

I know throwing 7 years away is a bit extreme but all I do is wonder if other people have more sex, I wonder if every single female I meet would be any different ....

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post #56 of 118 (permalink) Old 03-31-2017, 02:40 PM Thread Starter
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Re: New Guy from UK... Hi all

Then again I know what I'm like, if she crus... which she will I'll just give in
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post #57 of 118 (permalink) Old 03-31-2017, 03:28 PM
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Re: New Guy from UK... Hi all

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I plan to be brutally honest about how I want her to consider my feeling about her shift patters when the nights are optional

I am going to tell her exactly what I was sexually, and tell her I can't go for the rest of my life without it, it's driving me mad and that I don't expect her to change as that's unfair so I think I should accept that maybe I am too highly driven when it comes to sex and move on

I know throwing 7 years away is a bit extreme but all I do is wonder if other people have more sex, I wonder if every single female I meet would be any different ....


Yes other people have more sex. Yes other single females are different.

As for the 7 years, is it better to throw away 17 or 27?
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post #58 of 118 (permalink) Old 03-31-2017, 03:34 PM Thread Starter
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New Guy from UK... Hi all

Fair comment... and your right... I know that now no matter how hard it is
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post #59 of 118 (permalink) Old 03-31-2017, 05:32 PM
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Quote:
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Keke24 View Post
What do you plan to tell her OP?

I plan to be brutally honest about how I want her to consider my feeling about her shift patters when the nights are optional

I am going to tell her exactly what I was sexually, and tell her I can't go for the rest of my life without it, it's driving me mad and that I don't expect her to change as that's unfair so I think I should accept that maybe I am too highly driven when it comes to sex and move on

I know throwing 7 years away is a bit extreme but all I do is wonder if other people have more sex, I wonder if every single female I meet would be any different ....
I don't know why you want to present it as you are "too highly driven when it comes to sex". You sound pretty normal to me. Why nott say that you two are very different and not compatible? You don't have to make yourself out to be an anomaly. You aren't.
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post #60 of 118 (permalink) Old 03-31-2017, 08:19 PM
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Re: New Guy from UK... Hi all

Bloke

If you exert enough pressure, she will make some effort - on her schedule / your sex life. But it will not last.

You two are massively incompatible. Love without compatibility = misery.

You are already a low priority to her. After a baby that will get far worse.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Blokeymcblokeface View Post
I plan to be brutally honest about how I want her to consider my feeling about her shift patters when the nights are optional

I am going to tell her exactly what I was sexually, and tell her I can't go for the rest of my life without it, it's driving me mad and that I don't expect her to change as that's unfair so I think I should accept that maybe I am too highly driven when it comes to sex and move on

I know throwing 7 years away is a bit extreme but all I do is wonder if other people have more sex, I wonder if every single female I meet would be any different ....
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