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post #61 of 118 (permalink) Old 03-31-2017, 09:30 PM
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Re: New Guy from UK... Hi all

After a baby that will get far worse.


if you think you are unhappy and neglected now........this is nothing compared to what's coming after you conceive with her.

run for the hills.

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post #62 of 118 (permalink) Old 04-01-2017, 02:03 AM Thread Starter
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Re: New Guy from UK... Hi all

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Bloke



If you exert enough pressure, she will make some effort - on her schedule / your sex life. But it will not last.



You two are massively incompatible. Love without compatibility = misery.



You are already a low priority to her. After a baby that will get far worse.

It's funny you said that, after the whole nearly separating thing that's what she decided she would give oral on me a go... she hated it, she didn't want to do it but it was for the pirpose of keeping the peace.... it wasn't enjoyable because she didn't want it but it makes the point that if I exert pressure things happen... but that's because it's forced...

And the same with the shifts, weekend nights faded but the nights in the week stayed the same....

I asked for a message or two during the day, which came but as soon as I stopped sending the first one I don't hear from her

So your certainly right on that front
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post #63 of 118 (permalink) Old 04-01-2017, 02:15 AM
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Re: New Guy from UK... Hi all

Ask your wife if you were infertile, would she still stay married to you.
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post #64 of 118 (permalink) Old 04-01-2017, 02:23 AM Thread Starter
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Re: New Guy from UK... Hi all

I have as it happens as for 16 months she hasn't used any protection and she didn't get pregnant. She's come on now luckily and I have told her no more trying at the moment, so it's going to be interesting to see what happens when the condoms come out

She said she would want to adopt , and made some comment about not wanting to be a single mum without me but it was a while ago and I have forgotten
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post #65 of 118 (permalink) Old 04-01-2017, 02:23 AM Thread Starter
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Re: New Guy from UK... Hi all

By the way, telling her now more trying was hard and I may as well if show her mum in the fact with a cannon for the tesrsa and reaction and names I was called
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post #66 of 118 (permalink) Old 04-01-2017, 08:23 AM
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Re: New Guy from UK... Hi all

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I have as it happens as for 16 months she hasn't used any protection and she didn't get pregnant. She's come on now luckily and I have told her no more trying at the moment, so it's going to be interesting to see what happens when the condoms come out

She said she would want to adopt , and made some comment about not wanting to be a single mum without me but it was a while ago and I have forgotten


Of course she still would want you around after the baby was born. She wants your paycheck to fund her stay at home mom life.
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post #67 of 118 (permalink) Old 04-01-2017, 08:52 AM Thread Starter
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Re: New Guy from UK... Hi all

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Of course she still would want you around after the baby was born. She wants your paycheck to fund her stay at home mom life.

That's true, I did ask her before what would happen if I just said no I don't want s kid ever and she said we couldn't stay together
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post #68 of 118 (permalink) Old 04-01-2017, 08:58 AM
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Re: New Guy from UK... Hi all

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That's true, I did ask her before what would happen if I just said no I don't want s kid ever and she said we couldn't stay together


There is nothing wrong with what she said. She wants kids and if you don't then she doesn't want to stay married.

Your problem is that your wife wants to be a mom and sees her role of a wife as a very low priority.

If she was a good wife, meaning she wanted to spent time with you , and have recreation sex, you wouldn't be here.
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post #69 of 118 (permalink) Old 04-01-2017, 09:16 AM Thread Starter
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Re: New Guy from UK... Hi all

Oh yes I know her answer is perfectly reasonable ... that sums it up you know.... she nice, today we are walking to the shops and it will be a nice day ( as I would with my freinds) I will take her for a meal and then we will sit watching g the tv later and go to bed... like what I would with my friends

So you Sum that up well, if it was just a case of saying... let's remain mates... no hard feelings let's move on and it wasn't so upsetting I'd do it right now

I need to grow a pair once I accept it fully
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post #70 of 118 (permalink) Old 04-01-2017, 10:36 AM
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Re: New Guy from UK... Hi all

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Oh yes I know her answer is perfectly reasonable ... that sums it up you know.... she nice, today we are walking to the shops and it will be a nice day ( as I would with my freinds) I will take her for a meal and then we will sit watching g the tv later and go to bed... like what I would with my friends

So you Sum that up well, if it was just a case of saying... let's remain mates... no hard feelings let's move on and it wasn't so upsetting I'd do it right now

I need to grow a pair once I accept it fully


Look at it this way. Yes it will be hard for both of you. But it is also better for your wife that you do it sooner so that she has more time to find a compatible husband/donor.

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post #71 of 118 (permalink) Old 04-01-2017, 10:39 AM Thread Starter
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Re: New Guy from UK... Hi all

Donor..... nail on the head
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post #72 of 118 (permalink) Old 04-01-2017, 11:12 AM
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Re: New Guy from UK... Hi all

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Please share your suggestions, I may cringe or may not be ready but I need to hear them

I'll check out the book too
There is no hard and fast rule for successful relationships.

No cookie cutter or assembly line model.

For this relationship to be successful, as in satisfying for you both, you would need to transform into a very strong and authorative figure.

You would need to become a sort of benevolent dictator /tyrant /mentor to her.

It would require great fortitude from you to encourage /push her to grow as an individual and your mate.

You would need to become carefully dominant.

Becoming that kind of man is probably beyond what you are willing or capable of and should only be considered if you desperately love and cherish her.

I am somewhat like the character I described and am able to function in a relationship like that.

Mrs. Conan has come a long way but it has been a lot of work and she has had to do some teaching and mentoring of me as well.

I still don't believe you have a good match with her and unless she sees it and adopts heartfelt change, you should vamoose.
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post #73 of 118 (permalink) Old 04-01-2017, 12:03 PM Thread Starter
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Re: New Guy from UK... Hi all

Well we argued , she wasn't prepared to use condones as her interpretation of not trying was to just pretend we weren't and Carey on having sex .... so if I wanted to stop trying we just stopped sex because I'm emotionally abusing her apparently ...

And I waked out
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post #74 of 118 (permalink) Old 04-01-2017, 12:15 PM
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New Guy from UK... Hi all

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Well we argued , she wasn't prepared to use condones as her interpretation of not trying was to just pretend we weren't and Carey on having sex .... so if I wanted to stop trying we just stopped sex because I'm emotionally abusing her apparently ...

And I waked out


I know you love your wife. Part of that love is understanding her needs and wants. There is no shame in divorce if you are just not compatible and don't have the same life goals. Set her free to follow her desired path.

Your wife doesn't understand or want to understand the role of the husband and father. She wants to play mommy and play house. Perhaps that is because of her upbringing. But that is not healthy for the child either.

You have your answer. She doesn't want sex with you, or probably anyone else. She wants a baby daddy. And a cash machine or whatever you call it in the UK.

She probably honestly thinks you are abusing her by withholding the one thing she wants most in life - to be a mother.

Last edited by blueinbr; 04-01-2017 at 01:35 PM.
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post #75 of 118 (permalink) Old 04-01-2017, 02:01 PM Thread Starter
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Re: New Guy from UK... Hi all

On my way to a hotel for the night .... this is so hard
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