New Guy from UK... Hi all - Page 6 - Talk About Marriage
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post #76 of 151 (permalink) Old 04-01-2017, 02:36 PM
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Re: New Guy from UK... Hi all

The world is full of this EXACT story.

The folks who walk away talk about how glad they are. The ones who stay - are miserable.


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On my way to a hotel for the night .... this is so hard


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post #77 of 151 (permalink) Old 04-01-2017, 02:52 PM
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Re: New Guy from UK... Hi all

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On my way to a hotel for the night .... this is so hard


Go gather your thoughts. Go see your mates tonight but don't get drunk. Otherwise you will go home, have sex and conceive.

Remember if your wife says she hates you or will always hate you, this will confirm that the marriage was always about her only, and not the two of you as a couple.

It is sad that your wife sees making love to you as emotional abuse.
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post #78 of 151 (permalink) Old 04-01-2017, 03:16 PM Thread Starter
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Re: New Guy from UK... Hi all

Iv coke down to the local pub, I'm not a big drinker so I won't get drunk... she doesn't say she hates me she says she loves me but there's no concern about going home and making love haha

Luckily a tenant moved out of one of my property's a few days a go and left it in a good state... so I have somewhere free to kip winner
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post #79 of 151 (permalink) Old 04-01-2017, 04:22 PM
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Re: New Guy from UK... Hi all

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blokeymcblokeface View Post
Iv coke down to the local pub, I'm not a big drinker so I won't get drunk... she doesn't say she hates me she says she loves me but there's no concern about going home and making love haha

Luckily a tenant moved out of one of my property's a few days a go and left it in a good state... so I have somewhere free to kip winner


You have properties? I must ask since you are young.

Do you have money, possibly inherited? Because that would reinforce that your wife just wants your sperm and money.
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post #80 of 151 (permalink) Old 04-01-2017, 04:37 PM Thread Starter
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Re: New Guy from UK... Hi all

I didn't inherit a penny , I was given 5k by may parents at 18 and told to do with it as i pleased so started a business ... I don't have a huge amount of cash in the bank as I buy more property with it as I can in order to retire at a deniable age, but we live a decent life, not worrying about money or eating out etc. We are not rich but equally not poor

I certainly don't think anyone would be with me for anything I own or have.
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post #81 of 151 (permalink) Old 04-01-2017, 05:36 PM
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Re: New Guy from UK... Hi all

Disagree with this 100%.

Most men - don't get this right where women are concerned. Almost every human wants financial stability. Men and women are alike in this desire. A man who can provide a high level of financial stability is prized.

Don't confuse this with gold digging - which is a 'condition' that a subset of men and women both suffer from. Your wife isn't a gold digger but she DOES prize your financial stability. And that is a BIG part of why she is with you.

She has made it obvious that she doesn't crave your companionship or sex. The fact that she immediately went bat **** crazy over the child - says a lot.

There really isn't a definition of love - even a minimal one - describing how she feels about you.




Quote:
Originally Posted by Blokeymcblokeface View Post
I didn't inherit a penny , I was given 5k by may parents at 18 and told to do with it as i pleased so started a business ... I don't have a huge amount of cash in the bank as I buy more property with it as I can in order to retire at a deniable age, but we live a decent life, not worrying about money or eating out etc. We are not rich but equally not poor

I certainly don't think anyone would be with me for anything I own or have.
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post #82 of 151 (permalink) Old 04-01-2017, 05:54 PM Thread Starter
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Re: New Guy from UK... Hi all

Hmm, maybe your right... she is kknda of obsessed with working to have extra cash so she does prioritise money more than I do that's for sure... I make it or I could lose it... I'm happy either way.

We have a joint bills account but I have no idea what her salary is or how much money she has saved
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post #83 of 151 (permalink) Old 04-01-2017, 06:32 PM
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Re: New Guy from UK... Hi all

Welcome to the forums, I'm sorry there are some struggles you're going through. You'll find a lot of good advice here.

Every now and then, you fall in love with the most unexpected person at the most unexpected time. - unknown

I'm newly married
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post #84 of 151 (permalink) Old 04-01-2017, 08:32 PM
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Re: New Guy from UK... Hi all

Blokeymcblokeface,

It won't be hard at all for you to find a good woman who enjoys sex with you as much as you do. Most women love sex. Here on TAM, it's easy to get the idea that most women do because people come here with problems.

So here we hear a lot of guys complaining about wives who don't want sex, or who are like your wife.

But you know what, we get a lot of women with similar complaints about their husbands not wanting sex much, having .

Most people like sex. I resurrected a couple of old threads in which the women on TAM talk about their own sexual desire. You might find this interesting.

women ... do you like/love sex or dislike/hate sex?

Women - what's your sex drive like?

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post #85 of 151 (permalink) Old 04-01-2017, 09:08 PM
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Re: New Guy from UK... Hi all

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blokeymcblokeface View Post
Hmm, maybe your right... she is kknda of obsessed with working to have extra cash so she does prioritise money more than I do that's for sure... I make it or I could lose it... I'm happy either way.

We have a joint bills account but I have no idea what her salary is or how much money she has saved
What? You have no idea what she earns and how much she has saved?

Does she know what you make and how much you have saved, how much property own, how much you invest, etc?

Doesn't the UK have community property laws?

If your wife gets in debt, are you responsible to pay it off if she does not?


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post #86 of 151 (permalink) Old 04-01-2017, 09:38 PM
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New Guy from UK... Hi all

Bloke, go back and read just your first post. That alone was enough for most people to recommend a divorce. And the subsequent posts just added to that message.

We are not here to demonize your wife. She does appear however to be singularly focused on having children to the exclusion of nearly everything and everyone else, including you.

You know what you need to do. But you lack the strength to do it. That is ok. That strength is already within you. You just need to bring it to the surface.

I recommend that you continue with this thread for advice on when and how best to exit the marriage, and not seek advice on if you should leave.
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post #87 of 151 (permalink) Old 04-02-2017, 02:38 AM Thread Starter
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Re: New Guy from UK... Hi all

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What? You have no idea what she earns and how much she has saved?



Does she know what you make and how much you have saved, how much property own, how much you invest, etc?



Doesn't the UK have community property laws?



If your wife gets in debt, are you responsible to pay it off if she does not?

I mean I have a rough idea of her salary from when we purchased our house but as for savings I have no idea.

She does ask about how much a property costs to buy and I am usually quite open with her about it as in have nothing to hide but my wages are dependant on lots of things so she probably doesn't know how much I make day to day but I do keep a small savings pot which she knows about and we use for things.

I'm not sure what community property law is but I'm not responsible for her debt if she had any.

I do know she has no debt which is good
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post #88 of 151 (permalink) Old 04-02-2017, 03:46 AM
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Re: New Guy from UK... Hi all

Are you going home today?
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post #89 of 151 (permalink) Old 04-02-2017, 03:47 AM Thread Starter
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Re: New Guy from UK... Hi all

I don't know, I don't really feel like going to be honest although I think she thinks I am, I'm just thinking about getting some work done today instead
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post #90 of 151 (permalink) Old 04-02-2017, 03:53 AM Thread Starter
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Re: New Guy from UK... Hi all

I think the time apart will be useful and just running back the next day is pointless , I think it will be a few days untill I start to think a bit straighter
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