Our marriage issues - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 4 (permalink) Old 03-26-2017, 12:23 PM Thread Starter
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Unhappy Our marriage issues

I'm deaf and am married to a hearing husband. We both have problems. He treats me great but he does some wrong things to me. He also treats me like a **** when he's mad at me. And I do some wrong things to him too. He is selfish and stubborn. What I am unhappy about right now is that he thinks I'm stupid nonstop and not smart for not knowing a lot of words meanings that I'm supposed to know. Being deaf, words are hard to remember by just reading with your eyes...I can't hear words everywhere to help you remember. And that I'm stupid for being so "crazy" to him. The reasons why I'm being crazy to him in fights:
He told me when we first got married that if there was something I was unhappy about, let him know and we could talk and fix problems. When I was unhappy with something, he always won't talk with me about it and fix it....he always says, "So you are now talking about how bad I am." And "You are not talking, you are fighting." and then he ignores me so he let me continue being unhappy with something. I get mad and start to fight with him nonstop and he ignores me mostly. In fight, he pretends to do something such as when we were on a trip that he made for me last week, we stopped at a gas station and fought. He "threw" his keys while they were actually in his pocket. He threatens me that he will do something bad. He doesn't tell something that is true or everything to let me get mad and fight with him...if he tells something that is true or everything, I won't get mad. Etc. All of these he does in fight to get me crazier so he can call me crazy and stupid and tell people & our son how crazy I am. He has actually called cops on me a few times. I tried to explain
He doesn't really respect me and always won't listen to me and always look away when I'm not done signing but he gets mad when I don't do these back to him. He says some controlling things. Last night I had him blocked on my messenger to have peace while our son and I are at my parents' house. I told him to email me if he needs to talk about our son. He posted on my Facebook page to talk about our son instead of emailing me. I told him to not do that because people would think something is wrong and asked him to respect that. He said, "Then do not block me on messenger." I said that's controlling and then blocked him again. He posted on my page AGAIN to talk about our son instead of emailing me. He is always being not patient with me and always complain about something I do or say and he always says, "You are making things hard." I get annoyed and upset by what he does or says a lot. He won't stop doing something I ask him to stop like name callings and talking bad in fights...we have made a contract and signed our names on it but he torn it later. He rolls his eyes and walks away and doesn't care when I cry about his problems or something sometimes. He doesn't talk with me about everything because I won't understand by not knowing a lot of word meanings...he doesn't try. He doesn't want to try or explain. Also, he doesn't talk to me to make decisions with me and does things without asking/talking to me every time. He doesn't believe a lot of things I say because he thinks I'm not smart. I'm depressed and have anger in my heart and have all bad things he said in my head and feel lonely and sit in tub or bed crying a lot when he isn't around or is sleeping no matter if we are doing great or fighting. When we were separated which he made a decision to be, not with me, he said I could date some guys to figure out what I wanted. I didn't want to do that. When a guy first messaged me, I decided to talk to him just a little and then ignored him when my husband and I got back together. My husband just got hurt and mad that I want a different man. He said I'm cheating on him with the guy I talked to, but he talked to me about dating some guys to figure out what I wanted and I was just talking to the guy a little. He needs to realize that he won't stop doing wrong things to me to make me unhappy. He said he knows he has some problems too but he won't work on them or won't spend hundreds of money to go counseling with me because he said I'm 99% the problem and need help. If he doesn't do all of these, I won't be crazy so he needs help too.
What are your thoughts about this? Would you be like me? Do you think he does need help too?

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post #2 of 4 (permalink) Old 03-26-2017, 07:14 PM
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Re: Our marriage issues

I merged your two threads into this one since they were about the same topic. Only one thread per topic please.
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post #3 of 4 (permalink) Old 03-26-2017, 07:16 PM
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Re: Our marriage issues

I think that both of you would benefit from counseling.
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post #4 of 4 (permalink) Old 03-27-2017, 02:14 AM
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Re: Our marriage issues

I think both of you go for marriage counseling!
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