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post #1 of 42 (permalink) Old 03-26-2017, 12:36 PM Thread Starter
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Infidelity Percentages

I was listening to a male talk show host discuss men and infidelity. He said in his opinion, through studies and just what he has seen over the years amongst his peers, that 20% of men are faithful & monagamous, 20% you can't trust as far as you can throw them, but that the majority-60% love their wives but go on work trips or golf trips and pay escorts for sexual favors. Or they go to a massage place and get a "happy ending". He said these men truly feel that these monthly indiscretions are no big deal and that's it's just biological and scratching an itch. The callers tended to agree with his assesment. One caller was a sex worker who said her married clients are happy at home they just want variety. She suggested women offer to come to an escort with their husband! Just wanted to hear some of your opinions. I certainly hope it's not true that only 20% of married/ attached men are completely monogamous. Thoughts?

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post #2 of 42 (permalink) Old 03-26-2017, 12:54 PM
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Re: Infidelity Percentages

Pretty sure it's an exaggeration to build up drama and conversation.

human nature to exaggerate. Talk show hyperbole.

Nevertheless, even if around 30-40 percent get an occasional bj from a stripper
or a special massage it's bad. I've known a lot of men that do, or at least brag about it.

Sign of the times, or just boys being boys like cave man days?
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post #3 of 42 (permalink) Old 03-26-2017, 01:33 PM
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Re: Infidelity Percentages

Are you worried about your husband when he is on trips with Greg?
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post #4 of 42 (permalink) Old 03-26-2017, 02:00 PM
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Re: Infidelity Percentages

The statistics about fidelity/cheating are tough to pin down. Standard stats say about 23% of men cheat, vs. about 18% of women. Others indicate that at least half of both men and women will cheat at some point. Over 80% are never found out. Much depends on your definition of cheating - is a happy ending massage cheating, or not? Does it take an emotional attachment and/or PIV sex to be cheating? Or - for some - it may simply be watching porn. So, it's all ambiguous without defining terms and picking the right statistical study.

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post #5 of 42 (permalink) Old 03-26-2017, 03:45 PM
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The statistics about fidelity/cheating are tough to pin down. Standard stats say about 23% of men cheat, vs. about 18% of women. Others indicate that at least half of both men and women will cheat at some point. Over 80% are never found out. Much depends on your definition of cheating - is a happy ending massage cheating, or not? Does it take an emotional attachment and/or PIV sex to be cheating? Or - for some - it may simply be watching porn. So, it's all ambiguous without defining terms and picking the right statistical study.
This is a good point, and I'm definitely one who feels that an EA is just as much infidelity as a physical A. I've heard the statistic that only 20% of marriages are considered happy and fulfilling by both spouses. It seems to me that to be the successful 1 in 5, you have to have strong boundaries to protect the marriage, and both spouses need a higher level of emotional intelligence.
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post #6 of 42 (permalink) Old 03-26-2017, 07:31 PM Thread Starter
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Are you worried about your husband when he is on trips with Greg?
Hi, I know I don't have much of a history here, so I don't blame you for looking at an old post. My husband has been a truly devoted man to me for 27 years. Yes, I'm not a fan of that Greg guy but I trust my husband. He hasn't had to work with Greg ( Greg moved) since a couple months after I made that post. I've even been with him to a few work conferences in the past year and a half and it's been a good thing. I'm just an insecure person, he hasn't done anything to make me this way. So when I hear these opinions on radio, tv and even read some posts here. It can make people think that the faithful spouses are a minority.
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post #7 of 42 (permalink) Old 03-26-2017, 08:03 PM
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Re: Infidelity Percentages

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Originally Posted by Ruby210 View Post
I was listening to a male talk show host discuss men and infidelity. He said in his opinion, through studies and just what he has seen over the years amongst his peers, that 20% of men are faithful & monagamous, 20% you can't trust as far as you can throw them, but that the majority-60% love their wives but go on work trips or golf trips and pay escorts for sexual favors. Or they go to a massage place and get a "happy ending". He said these men truly feel that these monthly indiscretions are no big deal and that's it's just biological and scratching an itch. The callers tended to agree with his assesment. One caller was a sex worker who said her married clients are happy at home they just want variety. She suggested women offer to come to an escort with their husband! Just wanted to hear some of your opinions. I certainly hope it's not true that only 20% of married/ attached men are completely monogamous. Thoughts?
As an "almost cheating husband" I can tell you my experience and how I feel.
A good 30% of me thinks that doing it once in a while is not a big deal, however, the remaining 70% tells me that I would not be able to live with the guilt, because my wife didnt know about it. And sooner or late I will spill the beans with all the consequences.

I have never been with a sex worker, but I totally agree with them when they say that men need variety. This is what I am working on right now and it's not easy.

The last part where the sex worker says that some women bring their husbands to them...I totally see that! A woman will much rather deal with a husband that needs to get it on with somebody else in a well constructed, safe and delimited environment then chasing their husbands down with co-workers or strangers.
It's also true for men: remember that movie Gigolo with Richard Gere? There is one scene where a husband hires Gere, the gigolo sex worker, to have sex with his wife.
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post #8 of 42 (permalink) Old 03-26-2017, 08:49 PM
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Re: Infidelity Percentages

My observations may not reflect a larger reality, but very few men I know have ever been to a sex worker. Sub-single digit percentage. I know one whose dad took him to lose his virginity, a European family in the USA. Several combat vets who while on leave visited brothels.

Back when I had an office job with a fair amount of travel, there were frequently a variety of different coworkers along. The most I ever saw was men going to strip clubs and stuffing dollar bills in a g-string. No lap dances, VIP room (blowjobs), or anything else physical. No hookers, no picking up women in a bar. Lots of blowing off steam with drinking at the strip clubs or bars. Lots of expensive meals on the expense account.

The affairs I was aware of were all office coworker situations except for one neighbor who had a cocaine/hooker problem.

Obviously there would be affairs I never became aware of. Still I would say the percentage of disloyal husbands is not very high. I would estimate of all the men I know, the % of cheaters (PA) is single digits from what I am aware of. Certainly nowhere near the 80% the talkshow suggested. That's in my circles. I can see how it would be higher in other circles, affecting the overall numbers.

I am aware of far more wives who have cheated than husbands.

EA would be a different story, especially depending on the definition of EA. Lots of people develop little crushes or lusts. They may even engage in light flirting. There is a lot of grey zone there. Most men (and women) probably go through something like that but never take action on it. Most men also aren't going to get involved in a non-sexual love affair for very long without either taking it physical or ending it. EA statistics would be very difficult to even estimate imho.

Last edited by Thor; 03-26-2017 at 08:59 PM.
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post #9 of 42 (permalink) Old 03-26-2017, 08:53 PM
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Re: Infidelity Percentages

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I am aware of far more wives who have cheated than husbands.
This would be an interesting one to hear. Please?
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post #10 of 42 (permalink) Old 03-26-2017, 08:54 PM
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Re: Infidelity Percentages

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Originally Posted by Ruby210 View Post
I was listening to a male talk show host discuss men and infidelity. He said in his opinion, through studies and just what he has seen over the years amongst his peers, that 20% of men are faithful & monagamous, 20% you can't trust as far as you can throw them, but that the majority-60% love their wives but go on work trips or golf trips and pay escorts for sexual favors. Or they go to a massage place and get a "happy ending". He said these men truly feel that these monthly indiscretions are no big deal and that's it's just biological and scratching an itch. The callers tended to agree with his assesment. One caller was a sex worker who said her married clients are happy at home they just want variety. She suggested women offer to come to an escort with their husband! Just wanted to hear some of your opinions. I certainly hope it's not true that only 20% of married/ attached men are completely monogamous. Thoughts?
Male here not anyone I know. But then again most of the people I know, know my feeling on this. Maybe the keep it hidden from me.

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post #11 of 42 (permalink) Old 03-26-2017, 09:08 PM
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Re: Infidelity Percentages

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Originally Posted by SuperConfusedHusband View Post
This would be an interesting one to hear. Please?
When I had an office job I knew of several married women who were in affairs with single men. I'm an airline pilot for the last 25 years and I know of numerous wives of pilots who have had affairs. I personally know 3 pilots who came home unexpectedly early resulting in literally walking in on their wife in the middle of sex acts with an OM. I know one pilot whose wife left him for another woman she was in an affair with. Numerous male coworkers have told me of being approached directly by married women. I've had a pilot's wife directly proposition me.
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post #12 of 42 (permalink) Old 03-26-2017, 09:23 PM
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Re: Infidelity Percentages

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When I had an office job I knew of several married women who were in affairs with single men. I'm an airline pilot for the last 25 years and I know of numerous wives of pilots who have had affairs. I personally know 3 pilots who came home unexpectedly early resulting in literally walking in on their wife in the middle of sex acts with an OM. I know one pilot whose wife left him for another woman she was in an affair with. Numerous male coworkers have told me of being approached directly by married women. I've had a pilot's wife directly proposition me.
Yeah I know 2 people at work whose wives had affairs and who stayed with them. The wives as they describe them sound awful, one guy is just staying for the kids, the other thinks he is working it out. We get a lot more women cheating on the men on this board too. Sometimes I wonder if this is a new thing or it's just tech has made it harder to get away with.

Then there are is genetic proof of paternity fraud in family lines. I used to believe the line about the fairer sex. No longer. Now I believe both genders suck.
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post #13 of 42 (permalink) Old 03-26-2017, 09:38 PM
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I was listening to a male talk show host discuss men and infidelity. He said in his opinion, through studies and just what he has seen over the years amongst his peers, that 20% of men are faithful & monagamous, 20% you can't trust as far as you can throw them, but that the majority-60% love their wives but go on work trips or golf trips and pay escorts for sexual favors. Or they go to a massage place and get a "happy ending". He said these men truly feel that these monthly indiscretions are no big deal and that's it's just biological and scratching an itch. The callers tended to agree with his assesment. One caller was a sex worker who said her married clients are happy at home they just want variety. She suggested women offer to come to an escort with their husband! Just wanted to hear some of your opinions. I certainly hope it's not true that only 20% of married/ attached men are completely monogamous. Thoughts?
Well, praise God ~ I undoubtedly must belong to that 20%!

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post #14 of 42 (permalink) Old 03-26-2017, 10:24 PM
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Re: Infidelity Percentages

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Originally Posted by Ruby210
that 20% of men are faithful & monagamous, 20% you can't trust as far as you can throw them, but that the majority-60% love their wives but go on work trips or golf trips and pay escorts for sexual favors.

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Well, praise God ~ I undoubtedly must belong to that 20%!
So which 20% is that?

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post #15 of 42 (permalink) Old 03-26-2017, 10:31 PM
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Re: Infidelity Percentages

I'm sure it depends on what social circles you move in.

Those statistics might be close to accurate for certain segments of our society but have their polar opposition in other segments.

Infidelity at some point and form in a lifespan does account for a fairly high percentage of people.

Men who pay prostitutes for some form of sex as a lifestyle are probably not a large representation.

It would be hilarious if one of those men went for a happy ending massage to find his wife working there.
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