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post #61 of 81 (permalink) Old 04-04-2017, 09:38 PM
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Re: Considering breaking off engagment and relationship with my fiancee

Which do you prefer? A loving wife and child-- a family, or long, peaceful rides on a motorcycle?

If the motorcycle is that important (and I can tell it's a huge part of your life), you probably aren't ready for a family.

That's not a slight on you, just something to think about.

I gave fishing and hunting too much priority in my life. I'm divorced and my family is busted.

I wish I fished and hunted less, and invested more of my time in what I valued most. Or should have valued more.

You have got to find a way to make both of you happy, or neither of you will be.

Think bro--- if you love her, she's about the have your baby. You need to support your wife. Make her your priority. If you don't store your bikes, at least get a safe car and drastically reduce your riding.

But now importantly, change your lifestyle to one which invests in your family, not just your riding.
You won't regret it, I assure you.

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post #62 of 81 (permalink) Old 04-04-2017, 09:44 PM
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Re: Considering breaking off engagment and relationship with my fiancee

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Originally Posted by Prodigal View Post
Put the bikes in storage. Don't ride them for a few years. I think you should give it a try. It sounds like you really want to keep the bikes. I can understand her concerns.

Could you sell the bikes and somewhere down the road buy another or others?
I was you 40+ years ago. When I got married I had a half dozen bikes and 3 or 4 basket cases. Parts out the wazoo.

We moved many times and I slowly got rid of them. When I turned forty I put three bikes in storage. For 11 years.

Why? I saw the Hearse coming.

On paper.....and in my charts. My intuition went into overdrive.

For fear my friends will ask me what I'm smoking I will say I was given a warning. I heeded that warning.

I have friends on both sides.

This....This is the nub of the stick that pokes me in the eye when the light of day energizes my optic nerve....SunCMars.... The Allegory of the Cave--> On this, I did a '180' and stepped out.

The Lion in Winter. Invictus..By Will, Shall... Saved from harm by my friends.
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post #63 of 81 (permalink) Old 04-05-2017, 12:03 AM
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Re: Considering breaking off engagment and relationship with my fiancee

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No, My one bike is a Ducati 959 Panigale and my other bike is a Yamaha R6 Just rather hard to give up something in which you love as I do riding I don't even own a car lol, She owns our only four-wheel vehicle and its a new truck. I don't want to move on from my fiancee at all I love her a lot just I don't know I guess I am just being dumb/stubborn. I don't know what I will do riding is a passion and a lot of fun. Rather die doing something I enjoyed but I guess I can't think like that anymore.
Don't be stupid dude. No passion or hobby is worth dying for.

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post #64 of 81 (permalink) Old 04-05-2017, 02:53 AM
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Re: Considering breaking off engagment and relationship with my fiancee

The thing about motorcycles. There are two kinds of riders.
Those who have crash their bike (They screw up or hit by another car or truck which screws up or shat happens)
Those who have yet to crash their bike.

My dad lost limbs from a motorcycle crash.

A helmet will save your life in some crashed, in others - it won't make a difference.

Look up motorcycle accidents that involve large truck tires - that will rip your body into pieces in seconds... arms, legs instantly torn off, your guts pulled out and around the wheels and other guts turned into a red skid mark. If you're lucky, your dead instantly. There are videos and pics of these accidents on the internet.

A fender bender on a car is a dent or a damaged bumper. A motorcycle = can equal lost of limb or life.

Enjoy what you are doing? I just ride a bicycle as part of my work out... so its about 1/4~1/6 the speed of your motorcycle. But even people have died falling off of bikes.

Hard to enjoy life... when your are broken or dead.

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post #65 of 81 (permalink) Old 04-05-2017, 05:23 AM
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Re: Considering breaking off engagment and relationship with my fiancee

Regarding the motorcycles, I have to agree. My father rode motorbikes every day until a few months before I was born, then he finally gave in to my mother's demands and stopped. In hindsight, he told me that it was the best thing he did and he could not have forgiven himself if it had gotten into an accident and was injured or killed leaving me without a father. If my mother hadn't pressured him though he wouldn't have stopped, so she knew best, and he realised that in later years. Perhaps you will too, or maybe not.

Fortunately my husband has shown no interest in motorbikes, but does drive a lot of different cars with his job, and I do get slightly nervous when he's driving something really old with no airbags etc, but at the end of the day even a very basic car is still safer than a motorbike.

I'd suggest putting the motorbikes in storage so they are still there for the future, but you have to take her feelings into consideration and as has already been said, she won't be worried about losing your income if you were killed, but rather losing YOU. So life insurance is great and all (and I'd definitely recommend it in the practical sense), but it means nothing to her at this moment and that is perfectly understandable.

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post #66 of 81 (permalink) Old 04-05-2017, 08:15 AM
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Re: Considering breaking off engagment and relationship with my fiancee

Change who you are to make her happy and there will be consequences.


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post #67 of 81 (permalink) Old 04-05-2017, 08:23 AM
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Re: Considering breaking off engagment and relationship with my fiancee

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Because OP, you're completely clueless. It's not about the money to your fiance. You could have $10M in life insurance and it still wouldn't make her feel secure. She doesn't want to lose YOU. She loves you, you are the father of her child. She wants to grow old with you and for your child to grow up with you. It's got nothing to do with money.
Perfectly stated, so obvious...........but not to a Motorhead!

This....This is the nub of the stick that pokes me in the eye when the light of day energizes my optic nerve....SunCMars.... The Allegory of the Cave--> On this, I did a '180' and stepped out.

The Lion in Winter. Invictus..By Will, Shall... Saved from harm by my friends.
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post #68 of 81 (permalink) Old 04-05-2017, 11:26 AM
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Re: Considering breaking off engagment and relationship with my fiancee

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Change who you are to make her happy and there will be consequences.
Biz009 or anyone else for that matter... are NOT a motorcycle.

Now, there is a safer alternative... get a dirt-motor bike, and ride on terrain - that doesn't have CARS. It's called "compromise".
One of the things that make for a better / stronger marriage is that the two people merge themselves together. It does require BOTH people to make changes... they share and change aspects of themselves to be a unit. My wife and I do things together, that we both bring to the table. She is also into motorcycles - and for us to BE together, as my wife and mother of my son, she isn't allowed to be on a motorcycle on the street. While my father lost his limbs from being hit by a car, the injuries reduced his quality of life - you know, from the lack of limbs - it also cut short his lifespan. There are things you won't be able to do - or do easily with your wife or future kids if you are severely injured (loss of limbs, paralyzed - which means your penis doesn't work and you may be pooping into a bag, brain injuries).

I think motorcycles are beautiful machines. I love checking out what people do to them, the engineering and understand the thrill of them... you get to do 50~100+MPH on a highway that can almost feel like flying because you are exposed to the elements. Inches from the road. The feel of the motor between your legs and sometimes - the pressing of breasts on your back. I still get some elements of that on a bicycle going 25+ MPH, hell - it's thrilling to do 15mph on a bike path with trees all over the place. The most dangerous thing to a motorcyclist is other cars, then the hard concrete parts of the road and of course speed. I drove by a dead motorcyclist on the highway because he crashed into a concrete barrier at a turn... when a few minutes earlier - he blasted past me at about 125+MPH and I was doing 60. I made it to my destination that night, danced and got laid with my girlfriend. He - well, he had nothing. No thoughts or anything else since he was in a cooler being dead.

Time to look at logistics.
It's easy to lay down your motorcycle from your own actions. Even when at a stoplight. Or someone can rear-end you at a stoplight.
Ever had a very hard sneeze? In a car, not so dangerous - on a bike, that could cause you to have a spill.
Bugs in your teeth and hair.
When it rains - its not so fun to be on a motorcycle. Besides getting soaking wet, you have to be extra careful to NOT loose control of your bike. New wet roads are extra slippery for CARS and they are far worse for 2 wheeled vehicles.
Cargo space = very limited.
Baby carrier on a bike... nope.
Your passenger has to hold on to you for dear life. If in an accident - the passenger has you or some rail to HOLD on to. Sure it gets women juicy; the danger, the feeling of the engine and holding onto a man... they tend to die as well. I really hate seeing small children on the back of bikes. A bump can make them lose their grip and get injured.

In the end, it's your choice... you are gambling with your life, which will effect more people than just you. So good luck.

Supporting those who want to divorce or reconcile. Not every relationship is the same.

Last edited by TaDor; 04-05-2017 at 12:11 PM.
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post #69 of 81 (permalink) Old 04-05-2017, 12:26 PM
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Re: Considering breaking off engagment and relationship with my fiancee

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I haven't ever had a wreck and I don't ride dumb and have been riding since I was 17 and am very responsible with it
So? But you have no control over what other people do in their cars... Statically, you *WILL* eventually have a motorcycle crash. My father was an excellent cyclist and car driver... one of the best. He's only been in a single crash in his life, and it was the motorcycle.

Last summer, I pulled out into the street from a parking lot and was shocked to see a smallish motorcycle in my lane, he did have to move over. He almost hit me.
What happened?
The turn was at a road that didn't require me to worry about cars in front or to the right... it was 1 direction traffic.
When I looked to my left, he happened to be in the blind spot of my A-pillar.
And for some reason, his headlamp was off... it would have helped.

So when there are motorcycles nearby, I like to give them room in case they need the space from a spill or someone else hits them.

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post #70 of 81 (permalink) Old 04-05-2017, 03:23 PM
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Re: Considering breaking off engagment and relationship with my fiancee

Your motorcycle isn't going to snuggle with you in bed at night and keep you warm.

Your motorcycle won't be able to share all the good fortune and triumphs you will experience in your life.

Your motorcycle can't take care of you when you are sick or feeling down.

You can't have sex with your motorcycle. Well I guess maybe you could. You would need to shut it off and let the tailpipes cool down...

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post #71 of 81 (permalink) Old 04-05-2017, 06:57 PM
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Re: Considering breaking off engagment and relationship with my fiancee

Sad that so many riders gave up for their children who weren't even born yet, but not for their wives, the supposed love of their life.
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post #72 of 81 (permalink) Old 04-05-2017, 07:16 PM
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Re: Considering breaking off engagment and relationship with my fiancee

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Change who you are to make her happy and there will be consequences.


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post #73 of 81 (permalink) Old 04-05-2017, 09:11 PM
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Re: Considering breaking off engagment and relationship with my fiancee

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If she truly understood how much I truly loved it then she wouldn't try to be changing me I feel like. No she hasn't ever lied to me but she has kept things from me a few times to try and protect me. And no her character isn't weak and she used to look forward to seeing me but since the wedding has been getting closer and closer and the pregnancy it is like I am on the back burner.


Sounds terrible when you look at it that way. But perhaps you do need to "change" who you are, in the sense that you are going to be a dad and a husband. Women will change how they view their SO, ponder what that looks like.
Perhaps she would benefit from reassurance that you will be the dad and husband she expects, and family will be your first priority. Selling the bikes would do that in her mind. Or just offer another option. You can be dad and husband AND even better at it if you still keep your passions and dreams. With responsibility.


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post #74 of 81 (permalink) Old 04-06-2017, 12:03 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Considering breaking off engagment and relationship with my fiancee

Riding one of these bikes is a beautiful and rewarding thing And something that I love, But I sat my fiancee down and we talked it over and I agreed to put the bikes up for awhile and look into a car and if it really affects me that much after a 4-6months she agreed to let me keep riding but if not then I agreed to sell them. So I guess we did reach a compromise, still honestly felt like I was ripping away a part of my soul and giving up something that I really enjoy and is honestly a stress relief. See how this goes hoping it goes how she thinks it will and it won't make me come to resent her or anything.
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post #75 of 81 (permalink) Old 04-06-2017, 03:36 AM
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Re: Considering breaking off engagment and relationship with my fiancee

You were not born into this world, part human - part motorcycle. It's a piece of machinery, nothing more. Yeah, is fun... But would you rather enjoy walking on two legs or having an erection?

Again - what keeps you from getting a dirt-bike and doing off-road riding on some weekends?

According to the U.S. National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA), in 2006, 13.10 cars out of 100,000 ended up in fatal crashes. The rate for motorcycles is 72.34 per 100,000 registered motorcycles. ... Per vehicle mile traveled, motorcyclists' risk of a fatal crash is 35 times greater than a passenger car.

75% of accidents were found to involve a motorcycle and a passenger vehicle, while the remaining 25% of accidents were single motorcycle accidents.
In the single vehicle accidents, motorcycle rider error was present as the accident precipitating factor in about two-thirds of the cases, with the typical error being a slide-out and fall due to overbraking or running wide on a curve due to excess speed or lack of side bite.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Motorc...s_of_accidents
Motorcycle Crashes | III

Picture this... your wife is at work. And you need to take the baby to a doctor for a checkup... how is that going to happen with a motorcycle? Oh yeah, they do have baby/toddler seats for motorcyles. In the real world, how do you think your wife will feel about that? or your parents? And if there was an accident and the child is injured or killed - you'll have to live with that.

You are not 35% higher chance of being killed on a bike... you are 35 TIMES more likely to be killed by your bike. And your type of bikes makes up the majorities of motorcycle deaths.

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