Considering breaking off engagment and relationship with my fiancee - Page 6 - Talk About Marriage
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post #76 of 81 (permalink) Old 04-06-2017, 03:43 AM
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Re: Considering breaking off engagment and relationship with my fiancee

Glad you talked with your wife. Maybe look to talk to other young men who have traded in their bikes for a family? When that baby is born, your outlook should change anyway.


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post #77 of 81 (permalink) Old 04-06-2017, 06:31 AM
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Re: Considering breaking off engagment and relationship with my fiancee

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Originally Posted by Biz009 View Post
Riding one of these bikes is a beautiful and rewarding thing And something that I love, But I sat my fiancee down and we talked it over and I agreed to put the bikes up for awhile and look into a car and if it really affects me that much after a 4-6months she agreed to let me keep riding but if not then I agreed to sell them. So I guess we did reach a compromise, still honestly felt like I was ripping away a part of my soul and giving up something that I really enjoy and is honestly a stress relief. See how this goes hoping it goes how she thinks it will and it won't make me come to resent her or anything.


Decent compromise.
Expectations. You both have them. And a solid idea of what your life should look like.
Be open to the possibility that you don't know for sure what being a dad and husband is going to be like. But assuming that only riding your bike is how you relax is your own limitation to endless possibilities.
Don't go blaming her for that.

She's looking at you like a momma bear.
Not the time nor place for your own limited expectations. You will have another 35 years or so to self serve your own wishes. When your child is an adult. It's a temporary sacrifice you volunteered to make. So be great at the most important thing you can do. And enjoy the changes coming. With gratitude. It's an experience some can't have. Be thankful you had an opportunity to even ride bikes, and now you GET to be a parent. How lucky are you?



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post #78 of 81 (permalink) Old 04-10-2017, 03:31 PM
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Re: Considering breaking off engagment and relationship with my fiancee

Ha ha kid just one of MANY hard decisions in your future now that you're going to be a dad.

But it'll get much easier. I bet by the time the kid is 8 months old you'll be a changed person and really start to understand that you no longer live for you - you will be a dad and husband and be part of something much bigger


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post #79 of 81 (permalink) Old 04-10-2017, 03:45 PM
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Re: Considering breaking off engagment and relationship with my fiancee

Kudos to you for good judgement and to your fiancée for being understanding.

Consider a different hobby.
I seriously understand how you feel. I had a street bike once. Loved riding it. Have wanted another one for years.

I'm 44. You have NO IDEA how many people I've known that have been killed on a bike in that many years.

It sounds to me that you are a man that can listen to advice.
One that can avoid big mistakes instead of learning by experience.
Marry the girl. I really think you may have a good one. They're a lot rarer than you think.

Really happy for you!

Hey, you can. Always go back to riding your bike. I've thought about a trail bike, but guess what? With three kids--- who would I ride with and when would I have the time? You gotta learn to enjoy your new wife, and new baby, and learn to live doing things with THEM.
Or your marriage will sour.

I learned that from experience. I wasn't as smart as you.
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post #80 of 81 (permalink) Old 04-11-2017, 08:16 AM
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You think you want to stop the marriage before it happens. But you have already been living like you are married for the last 10 years. It's normal to go through a low period after 10 years of marriage. Things tend to worsen unless conscious effort is made to keep those good feelings there.

I highly recommend you go to some very in depth "pre-marriage" counselling. Work out all these issues (fairly minor they seem) before the wedding. The professional counselling will either bring the relationship to a good place again or it will make it very clear that you should end it for everyone's sake.
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post #81 of 81 (permalink) Old 04-12-2017, 03:32 PM
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Re: Considering breaking off engagment and relationship with my fiancee

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Originally Posted by mrsluvmyhub View Post
You think you want to stop the marriage before it happens. But you have already been living like you are married for the last 10 years. It's normal to go through a low period after 10 years of marriage. Things tend to worsen unless conscious effort is made to keep those good feelings there.

I highly recommend you go to some very in depth "pre-marriage" counselling. Work out all these issues (fairly minor they seem) before the wedding. The professional counselling will either bring the relationship to a good place again or it will make it very clear that you should end it for everyone's sake.


I like this post.

I've always felt that change occurs in about 10 year intervals. Personally and in a relationship. No change = boring and stale. Change as a couple is a very positive thing.


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