I agree that I may come off judgmental. I don't think some judgement is wrong. I actually think we are too tolerant and sensitive to some things.
I am often black and white with my views. However, I am a very emphatic person. When my friends come to me and confess something that they know I disagree with, I'm not an idiot. I know when people come to me for comfort, and for support. I would never lecture or speak disapprovingly to something that has already happened. I am extremely self aware.
I would like to follow up with @MEM2020
's thought on self-awareness...
I know it's my responsibility to change my reactions and behaviors, that no one controls this but me.
So many things led to confusion between:
•self-victimization (why we are not willing to accept the things we are wrong in and thinking things would be better if other things or people changed)
•self-awareness (understanding our feelings and what triggered them)
•self-empowerment (nobody fills that void of emotional need other than ourselves)
I do not believe one can have the opportunity for self-awareness without the other two... we have to understand that relationships balance on these and what goes into understanding when we challenge ourselves in our awareness is trusting ourselves to see our way through them without fear of possibly not liking what we find.
Not liking ourselves is going to happen from time to time and chances are pretty good we may not like what we find in ourselves when self-challenged, but we never grow if everything we find is liked...
The important thing is we love ourselves enough to believe we are capable to move through the moments when we do not like the actions we have and can change the patterns and understand why they influenced us poorly.
As we address ourselves and our communication within, too often our problem is we do not listen to understand and all we want to do is reply when our heart tells us to do the opposite... simply, listen.
It is a lot of work... but worth every ounce of effort.