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post #61 of 68 (permalink) Old 03-30-2017, 06:32 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Gf's lack of boundaries with ex husband

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Originally Posted by 3Xnocharm View Post
You ABSOLUTELY did the right thing. HOWEVER, you should not trust her either, I know whereof I speak... my XH was like exactly like this with his first wife, and he ended up divorcing me to remarry her. This kind of relationship between ex's should NOT be tolerated in a relationship. It shows no respect for your relationship and you were right to end it.
Yep. It didn't computer with her that it was disrespecting the relationship. In her eyes it was perfectly acceptable. Sorry about what you went through...that has to be tough.

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post #62 of 68 (permalink) Old 03-31-2017, 01:59 PM
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Re: Gf's lack of boundaries with ex husband

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I fully trust her because she has been open and honest about everything with me when she didn't have to. For instance, she tells me if guys hit on her. Always tells me if her ex shows up unannounced etc. She has given me no reason not to trust. Her whole defense is that she's a good person and can't cut people off like I can. I told her I'm not asking you to cut him off just the unnecessary non kid things. She takes that as me trying to tell her how to live her life.
You should point out to her that her behavior is unfair to her ex because it could lead him on and give him false hope. and that is hurtful as well.
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post #63 of 68 (permalink) Old 03-31-2017, 02:19 PM
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Re: Gf's lack of boundaries with ex husband

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No, it was a full fledged breakup. I basically asked her to stop and she said no. I made it clear that was a deal breaker for me and she chose to be chummy with her ex. I'm fully prepared to move on. If she wants to have a sit down and talk then yes I will probably do that to hear what she has to say. Whether she gets another chance would probably be dependent on counseling and a vow to cut the crap with him.
If more people had the backbone to take such a stand prior to getting married and having children with their partners, there would be much fewer people posting in the infidelity section of this site.
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post #64 of 68 (permalink) Old 03-31-2017, 02:28 PM
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Re: Gf's lack of boundaries with ex husband

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I basically asked her to stop and she said no. I made it clear that was a deal breaker for me and she chose to be chummy with her ex.
Her choosing to "be chummy with her ex" even though she knew that it "was a deal breaker" for you, confirms that you were right in ending your relationship with her.
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post #65 of 68 (permalink) Old 03-31-2017, 02:35 PM
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Re: Gf's lack of boundaries with ex husband

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I basically lost my gf and a good friend in one swoop.
Aren't they always both?
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post #66 of 68 (permalink) Old 03-31-2017, 03:02 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Gf's lack of boundaries with ex husband

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Aren't they always both?
Yep. Stating the obvious. In my case I don't have many "hang out" friends so it really affects my social circle outside of just losing a gf.
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post #67 of 68 (permalink) Old 03-31-2017, 03:10 PM
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Re: Gf's lack of boundaries with ex husband

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Yep. Stating the obvious. In my case I don't have many "hang out" friends so it really affects my social circle outside of just losing a gf.
Most guys don't. I know I don't.
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post #68 of 68 (permalink) Old 04-06-2017, 03:30 AM
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Re: Gf's lack of boundaries with ex husband

Question is. What a normal amount of contact with ex. ? We know once you love someone you always will have feelings for them. They're is history with them. Really good times and really bad times. I feel maybe because of my own screw up emotions. You must have very little contact with the ex. I don't want your old life to intermix with your new life with me, anymore then it has to. I don't want my SO playing happy family with there ex. I don't want my SO to get anything emotional from ex. All emotional good should come from me.
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