I've been married to my wife for 19 years and we have a pretty good relationship. When we started dating, she was at the tail end of the relationship and ended up leaving the guy for me.
Well fast forward, the ex became friends with her on social media and my wife and him would occasionally talk . Occasionally he would test the waters and try to ask for a meet-up like lunch but she would turn him down.
Now, here is the problem , I know from my wife that he is well endowed. She said he was huge both "fat and long" (her words) and she hated having sex with because it was uncomfortable. I admit, it was a little hot when she would tell me about her experiences with him. I never was jealous because we have always had a good sex life.
Well he sent my wife a selfie of his junk and my wife commented that it looked bigger soft than I am hard. Hate to say it,
but it was big, looked about 6" soft.
I have talked to her about not talking to him a unfriending her ex, but she says there is nothing to worry about. I know I should be more assertive, but then she accuses me of being controlling and not trusting her.
Thanks for your message.
You've received some very sound advice above as well as some very accurate information on what is going on here.
What is absolutely crucial here is that you set boundaries and standards for how you wish to be treated. As long as she knows that she can do this sort of thing without too many negative consequences, then she will continue to do so. For most guys, the comparisons of penis sizes can be seriously emasculating and it's important for her to realise the significance of saying such things.
I remember talking to my wife a couple of years ago and we were in discussions about her ex boyfriend and how she treated him. In her earlier days, whilst she was in a relationship with him, she would go out clubbing and sometimes flirt with other guys. It would never go further than this but because he never set any boundaries, she just carried on doing it. However when we began dating, I mentioned to her some of my core values and how I would stop dating anyone who would treat me in ways that were disrespectful. Not once, has she behaved in ways that made me feel inferior, nor have I to her. I didn't say it in a threatening way at all - just from a place of strength that reflected my own values and self-respect.
I can't stress the importance of boundaries here. In fact, she will respect you all the more if you can hold your strength and set your boundaries, rather than just being a pushover. No woman likes a man like that. Eventually respect diminishes and the relationship dies a slow death. I've seen it all too many times.
When communicating it, if it comes across as defensive and angry, she will resist it and call you controlling. If you communicate it in such a way that reflects your standards but shows that you love her, she will accept it.
I hope that makes sense.
Any questions, let me know.