Imagine a married couple "A" and "B" who get along very well together, but where their sex life has always been limited from the point of view of A. Maybe they shouldn't have, but they have a kid. After that the already mediocre sex life declines to almost nothing. B just isn't interested, doesn't really like sex and doesn't undersatnd why anyone else likes it. B had always assumed that their sex life would taper off. Used to provide oral and other things but now says that they had always done it because they felt that they had to but that they intensely dislike it.
Other than sex, they are a great couple, and are both very attached to their kid. They both have exciting high paying jobs. They have bought a really nice house together. The really enjoy each other's and their kid's company.
But A is getting ever more frustrated and unhappy as they realize that rather than improving the way that they had hoped, their sex life is declining to almost nothing. There is nothing A can do to get B more interested, B just doesn't want sex. A is looking at a life of celibacy and they resent B for doing this to them.
A meets D at work. D (of the other gender) is in a similar situation, stuck in a mostly great but sexless marriage.
Who is really harmed if A and D have an affair that they keep very quiet? Would it really be better for A to divorce, causing trauma to the kid, and ending what is otherwise a very happy relationship?
A and D feel no guilt and if
both BS's never find out.......and if
neither A nor D want to dump their spouse for their affair partner, and if
they continue to treat their BS's [otherwise] well, this would work out good for all.
That is a lot of if's
and major cheating. If
they get caught..........my God, the consequences! And the pain and torment this will wreak on TWO EXTENDED families, spouses, children, in-laws, friends.
It is much easier to divorce, then eff around.
On divorce: Honor and morals would remain only mildly tarnished. The "Til death do us part" vow thing......it will be trashed. And if down the line you marry your co-worker, tongues will rattle, rumors will fly.