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post #46 of 65 (permalink) Old 04-02-2017, 03:50 PM
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Re: Confused and feeling Temptations

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Yes I have talked to him, fought with him, cried to him suggested counseling, he says hello and then he never follows through. I stay with him because I love him and we have a child together and I want to grow old with him but I'm not sure if it's healthy or not I know everyone has problems and granted we have even more personal problems but I haven't even gotten into that have caused massive stress. My child who just turned 7 who he's been raising since she was around 3 has been suffering from medical problems that we don't have all the answers to. They just diagnosed her with Tourette syndrome and she scheduled for an MRI soon she has stomach problems and the list goes on. I love him more than I loveed anybody my entire life and he is the only one I desire but he is so hot and cold lately and I'm sexual do to either my age or maybe the stress so this attention and looks that I'm getting and the current problems were having it's confusing and clouding me and making me have thoughts that break my heart to even think. It tears my soul to think of either of use with other people. I felt he was soul mate but lately things are different

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There can be all kinds of reasons people have these medical conditions, but stress can be a major factor. Especially with stomach problems. Your daughter is seven, just a few years younger than his daughter was when you met and it sounds like if there was something inappropriate going on, it had already been going on.

Can you separate from him for awhile and take your daughter? See if her health magically improves if she's never alone with him?

******

When I had my step kids, their mom had been molested by her grandfather, she had all kinds of sexual boundary issues and went through a lot of boyfriends. One day her then boyfriend showed up unexpectedly to pick up the girls to take them to visit her as a "surprise." I didn't know what to do so I let them go. He had a pickup truck and put them in the back of it (this was a long time ago when people did that...)

As he was getting them settled in, he rubbed the youngest girl's shoulder (she was 7 or 8). It was just a pat on the shoulder, but something about it, the way his hand lingered or moved... it creeped me the hell out. I felt my gut clench up and I told myself I was just being paranoid.

Well years later it came to light that "one of mom's boyfriends" molested the oldest girl. And it was THAT boyfriend. So not the one I saw him rub, but one of the others. And I think it may have been more than one of her boyfriends because she was already saying and doing "sexy" things that were very inappropriate for a 10 year old. Or she may have seen a lot of sex between her mom and guys. Something was off. Anyhow, sometimes you see something - a glance, a touch, a tone ... and it just sets off alarm bells.

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post #47 of 65 (permalink) Old 04-02-2017, 03:56 PM
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Re: Confused and feeling Temptations

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He acts like he didn't even notice or relize she was doing it. I caught her around Christmas rubbing her leg on him while my back was to her little did she know I was watching her in a morrow and every time I turned my head to look back at her she stopped. She did it over and over untill I called her out on it and asked her what the **** she was doing and why was she only doing it when my back was to her.

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OMG. It's NOT POSSIBLE he did not notice this.

Something very sick is going on.

Can you talk to a therapist or some professional about this? You could say you are getting independent counseling for yourself but find one who specializes in that sort of stuff.

You need to get your biological daughter out of that house ASAP and talk to some professional type person who can help the older girl. Even if she is a monster - she's still a child and a victim if he's even just letting her do these weird things.

I know you "love" this guy, but you can't let him destroy you and your daughter. If you are able to get some distance from him you may gain perspective and find you love being away from him too. ALSO can you get your youngest daughter into a child psychiatrist based on her "inexplicable" health issues? Maybe she will have a lot to say...
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post #48 of 65 (permalink) Old 04-02-2017, 04:40 PM
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Re: Confused and feeling Temptations

You really need to talk with a child advocate. This has red flags. Talk to then and leave it in their hands. When they come and interview tell them everything.
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post #49 of 65 (permalink) Old 04-02-2017, 04:50 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Confused and feeling Temptations

So I found a undershirt of his that I be live had been used to clean up after sex shoved In one of her dresser drawers. Now I will admit to being intimate in her room one time in the last couple months while she wasn't home. It was only because our child was asleep in our bed so we were being naughty and went in the other room since she was away at her mom's. The thing is I don't know if that was from us but I don't know why it was shoved in her dresser I would think we would of taken whatever clothes we had and put them.in the dirty clothes not her dresser. Anyway I saved it and put it in a zip lock and think maybe I should take it to get analyzed by a lap to make sure her DNA isn't on it. I could have them run it against a pair of her undergarments that are unwashed over here but Is where I would even take it too.

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post #50 of 65 (permalink) Old 04-02-2017, 07:31 PM
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Re: Confused and feeling Temptations

Looks like the thread diverged into different territory, but I had to speak up.

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If A and D feel no guilt and if both BS's never find out.......and if neither A nor D want to dump their spouse for their affair partner, and if they continue to treat their BS's [otherwise] well, this would work out good for all.
Aside from this being near-impossible to sustain, it is only working out for the cheaters, not the BSes. Trust is a foundation of marriage, and without it, the marriage will begin to crumble, and the BS won't understand what's going on.

Cheating, even if never caught, steals time, attention and money away from the marriage and family. All the effort and resources the cheater puts into their affair should be going to the marriage. Without it, the marriage starves.

Granted, if it's a sexless marriage, it's already starving in a different fashion, but the cheater still has the option of dealing with it in a way that does not make the BS feel absolutely worthless.

An undetected cheater may still be treating their spouse well, but they certainly aren't treating them with love and respect.
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post #51 of 65 (permalink) Old 04-04-2017, 01:18 AM Thread Starter
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Found messages from my finances daughters old phone

So I have been having serious concerns and recently things have made me suspicious of current partner. I found a old phone the belonged to his daughter about a year before we got together there was only a couple contacts and messages in it. Oh might I mention I found it locked in his gun safe which is something I don't have access to unless of course he forgets to take his house keys while going to work. What I don't get is this is a old phone from about 5 years ago but his new work number is programmed on it and he has only had it for a couple of years and this phone was not the phone she had when he got this new number so I'm wondering if he has been secretly using this phone. Why else would it have his number programmed in it http://cloud.tapatalk.com/s/58e332c3...03_224312.jpg?
http://cloud.tapatalk.com/s/58e33317...03_224056.jpg?


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post #52 of 65 (permalink) Old 04-04-2017, 01:21 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Found messages from my finances daughters old phone

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So I have been having serious concerns and recently things have made me suspicious of current partner. I found a old phone the belonged to his daughter about a year before we got together there was only a couple contacts and messages in it. Oh might I mention I found it locked in his gun safe which is something I don't have access to unless of course he forgets to take his house keys while going to work. What I don't get is this is a old phone from about 5 years ago but his new work number is programmed on it and he has only had it for a couple of years and this phone was not the phone she had when he got this new number so I'm wondering if he has been secretly using this phone. Why else would it have his number programmed in it http://cloud.tapatalk.com/s/58e332c3...03_224312.jpg?
http://cloud.tapatalk.com/s/58e33317...03_224056.jpg?


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post #53 of 65 (permalink) Old 04-04-2017, 01:29 AM
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Re: Found messages from my finances daughters old phone

Are these from last year (2016 )?
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post #54 of 65 (permalink) Old 04-04-2017, 01:32 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Found messages from my finances daughters old phone

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Are these from last year (2016 )?
No they are from 2012 we got together in 2013 it's a old phone of hers that see used before the two of us got together. What I dont understand is why his new number is programmed in this phone and why is the phone hidden and why is he talking to a ten year old like that. She's 15 now

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post #55 of 65 (permalink) Old 04-04-2017, 01:35 AM
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Re: Confused and feeling Temptations

You started a new thread with images of the messages that are on that phone. I'm not sure that a second thread makes a lot of sense since people might not find it. I'm going to move the posts from that thread into this one. YOu will get better input if your story is in one thread.

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post #56 of 65 (permalink) Old 04-04-2017, 01:37 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Confused and feeling Temptations

Thank you what is your take ?

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post #57 of 65 (permalink) Old 04-04-2017, 01:38 AM
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Re: Found messages from my finances daughters old phone

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No they are from 2012 we got together in 2013 it's a old phone of hers that see used before the two of us got together. What I dont understand is why his new number is programmed in this phone and why is the phone hidden and why is he talking to a ten year old like that. She's 15 now
Are sure those texts are from her?

ETA: When did he get the new phone number?
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post #58 of 65 (permalink) Old 04-04-2017, 01:44 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Confused and feeling Temptations

100% positive I even took the phone and his it so that it can't be errased. There is no way it's fabracaited there are a total of twenty something messages it's clear it's from her to him. Her Nick name is K dog. His work number is at the most 3 years old . I crossed off the number on the photo so that people don't call it

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post #59 of 65 (permalink) Old 04-04-2017, 01:46 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Confused and feeling Temptations

There is absolutely no reason his new number should be programmed in a old phone of hers that supposedly hasn't been used in over five years

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post #60 of 65 (permalink) Old 04-04-2017, 10:24 AM
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Re: Confused and feeling Temptations

The texts in the above images all say that they are "FROM DAD".

So he texted the to his daughter?

The only one of those that is questionable is the one that talks about a 'short ass skirt'. Why would he want a short skirt? It could be a joke?

What is the number that he was sending these texts to? Was it her number?
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