This is my first time posting about myself.
I'm very new to this place and only found it because I was snooping through my fiance's phone and saw that he had installed a new app and StumbleUpon this place.
Maybe I'm posting in hopes he'll read this and stops me before I make the same choice that he's done, OR at least that I feel he's done to me.
I know that there's been lies I've confronted him numerous times, more so lately and it makes me realize that there was probably always lies and maybe I just didn't pay attention enough.
I get why they call it dirty thirties. I've never wanted to be more of a dirty **** now then I ever, believe me I was one before we got together too.
My fiance and I have been together somewhere around five years he has his own child who was around 10 when we got together. Mine was around 3 and now we have a child together.
His child has given me tremendous difficulties between her and her mother the lies and b******* It has just become too much lately, at least with my daughter the father isn't in the picture so he's and the only one to raise her so it's on him and I with her behavior. He has no idea what it feels like to have to deal with the other parent or the way that the child Acts because of the other parent, absolutely no idea.
I'm at my Breaking Point Something's Gotta Give and I'm scared it's going to be me.
I've never cheated on him but right now I want to feel something and he could care less. It seems now that his daughter has moved out of her home he blames me. I couldn't do it anymore the torment that I went through because she and her mother are both very vindictive and would create stories to mess with my head.
I don't want to feel like s*** anymore.
I want to feel beautiful sexy and he doesn't make me feel that way.
lately I've been getting a lot more attention from other men, mostly just looks and stares. It because I've been taking better care of myself and dressing nicer and putting on makeup hoping my fiancia would give me more attention but he hasn't which is strange considering he's horny all the time and in the past always wanted to have sex and if we weren't having sex he was jacking off in the shower. Or at least he claims he was jacking off in the shower.
These other men well I like the way it feels I like it because I know what they want to do to me. When he stares at me now he stares at me with anger , resentment disgust . I see it he doesn't think that I do though but I see it. I haven't done it yet but I'm so close it's only a matter of time if things keep going the way they are that I'm going to let that side out I'll probably regret it but he's doing nothing to stop me or save us
There's so much more but I just had to get out this part hopefully me talking about it will help and I won't pursue these feelings
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I will call you Megan.
Ok so I see where you are coming from. You are going through this change and you want to be desired again by men. That is only natural!
I'm not going into details, I have an entire post going aboutme being the guy looking at beautiful ladies and enjoying their radiance. So I'm the one looking at you, and I know exactly how it feels when your man does not desire you anymore. It really sucks! Your self esteem sinks to -40 and you feel like dirt.
I'm helping a friend of mine, a lady who is 29, who had this problem: she broke up with her boyfriend of 4 years and he treated her like dirt the last year. He filled her with insults about her body, destroyed her credit and took her job from her. She was a wreck. I picked her up (not in a sexual way...) a month ago and we are rebuilding her life, little by little...
When a woman doesn't feel appreciated, physically, emotionally and spiritually she wilder and dies. It's the men's job to fill her up with emotions and give her life.
This is where a lot of people will not agree with me: I know exactly why you are looking for other men. To feel alive again. I have see that many times. I myself used to do it, otherwise I would die inside.
I (used to) approach 4-10 women a day and flirt with them, trying to make them feel wanted. To me it seemed that almost all of them had some kind of void to fill in that department, and almost all liked flirting with me. There is nothing wrong with it.
In the short time, this works wonders. For the longer term...you have to decide if you wanna stay with the guy you are with now or not.
Hope this helps.