: you are trying so hard to prove your point based only on your opinion of a situation that has NOT happened to you. You say "it makes no difference" - but there are dozens / hundreds of people here, in which almost ALL of them have real-life experiences and relationship EXPERTS (doctors) - that all say otherwise.
Your wife was only doing inappropriate communication with another lawyer that she'll cross paths with because of their profession. Okay, she avoids him and of course no lunch dates. That would be very different if she was have such talks with another lawyer or person in the same law firm. As a lawyer, its easy to find work in another firm or on her own.
Point is, you seem to think people can turn off their feelings on the dime. if you think otherwise, you are quite wrong - except concerning those who are strictly in it for the sex... it seems that you are likely to justify having an affair yourself more so than your wife, since all you have to do is ignore the other person.
With only about 4 weeks of not seeing her AP, we bumped into each other and all hell broke out lose. Wife turned stupid, her fantasy feelings and ideas burst out and everything she did was stupid, even with her sisters and mother telling her she was being stupid. She ended up in jail because she couldn't think straight. So yeah, if you or your wife are having an EA/PA with someone that is a co-worker... "just don't talk" = not going to happen. Maybe 1 out of 100,000 would that possibly work (that number I pulled out of thin air). What helps to kill an affair is the sunlight and reality of their actions.
Those who are cheating, their affair partner effects their brains like crack. You'd be a fool if you have a person who hasn't touch crack in months, put them in a room with a bag of crack on the other side - and then somehow be *surprised* that he's on crack in 30 minutes. Having an affair becomes an addiction. It effects the brain the same way. It takes months~years for the effects of their AP wears off. If the couple wishes to SAVE the marriage - then they have to work at it... and the WS working with the AP *IS NOT* the way to save your marriage.
Put in the 2~4 weeks notice, look for another job.