So it's been 2 weeks - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 141 (permalink) Old 04-02-2017, 12:37 PM Thread Starter
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So it's been 2 weeks

It's now been 2 weeks since I finally went NC with a girl who was just stringing me along for about 4 months. I know...everybody told me but I didn't listen. We go to the same church so we'll bump into each other ocassionally but I won't initiate anything.

I haven't gone to the church the last two weeks for a couple of reasons. The first reason is I just wanted some time to kinda gather my bearing. But here's the real reason. Since other people have began commenting about my physical changes due to recently restarting my workout plan, I know it's starting to show. The next time I see her, I want to make sure there are some noticeable changes. Noticeable ones...lol

I also began thinking about 3 years ago when I was in the gym a lot. I went from dating 6's & 7's to solid 8's and questionable 9's. I think I'm on to something!


Last edited by marksaysay; 04-02-2017 at 12:48 PM.
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post #2 of 141 (permalink) Old 04-02-2017, 12:47 PM
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Re: So it's been 2 weeks

I think that is a very normal way to feel, but be prepared for her not to really care.
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post #3 of 141 (permalink) Old 04-02-2017, 12:59 PM Thread Starter
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Re: So it's been 2 weeks

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I think that is a very normal way to feel, but be prepared for her not to really care.
Yeah. Having gotten to know her fairly well, that's probably the likely response. But it's almost like she has served to motivate me to change some things.

Truthfully, I sensed from her near the end of our involvement she had the attitude almost as if she was doing me a favor by spending time with me. It was like she just "knew" she was the best thing I've ever had. If she only knew...lol.
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post #4 of 141 (permalink) Old 04-02-2017, 01:03 PM
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Re: So it's been 2 weeks

You're still not healthy. You are motivated to improve to show her what she is missing, and not doing this for yourself. You will heal in time.
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post #5 of 141 (permalink) Old 04-02-2017, 01:07 PM Thread Starter
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Re: So it's been 2 weeks

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You're still not healthy. You are motivated to improve to show her what she is missing, and not doing this for yourself. You will heal in time.
No. I started hitting the gym before things ended. It's all about me. I'm loving the changes. She has admittedly given me extra motivation, though.
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post #6 of 141 (permalink) Old 04-02-2017, 01:18 PM
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Re: So it's been 2 weeks

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No. I started hitting the gym before things ended. It's all about me. I'm loving the changes. She has admittedly given me extra motivation, though.
If it's all about you, then you shouldn't care whether you see her, whether she's at church, or what she'll think when she sees you.

Avoiding church because you're buffing up.... That's a new one I haven't heard yet.

"If you deliberately plan on being less than you are capable of being, then I warn you that you'll be unhappy for the rest of your life."

~ Abraham Maslow
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post #7 of 141 (permalink) Old 04-02-2017, 01:23 PM Thread Starter
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Re: So it's been 2 weeks

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Avoiding church because you're buffing up.... That's a new one I haven't heard yet.
Lmbo!!! Now that you put it that way, that doesn't sound like a very good reason, does it?
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post #8 of 141 (permalink) Old 04-02-2017, 04:17 PM
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Re: So it's been 2 weeks

You've had a couple of posters tell you the obvious and it went right over your head.

So I'll chime in and try to say it another way.

If you didn't care about her you wouldn't care what she thinks about you.

I mean, do you care what anyone else at the church thinks about you? If not, then why just her?

You gotta let her go, it's not healthy to hold on to something that just isn't there.
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post #9 of 141 (permalink) Old 04-02-2017, 04:25 PM
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Re: So it's been 2 weeks

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You're still not healthy. You are motivated to improve to show her what she is missing, and not doing this for yourself. You will heal in time.
This. But, time + NC will bring you to a healing place.

I also would find a new church, because if you don't want to see her, and church is important to you, I wouldn't allow that to cause you to stop going.

Keep up the good work! Do it all for you.

''Sometimes, you fall in love with the most unexpected person, at the most unexpected time.'' - Unknown
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post #10 of 141 (permalink) Old 04-02-2017, 04:32 PM
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Re: So it's been 2 weeks

OP,
Perhaps you should reevaluate your reason for attending a house of worship. Also, if you are grading your females on outward appearance only then be prepared to have your score averaged out. A woman who is an 8, questionable 9 may be only a 2, questionable 3 in trustworthiness thereby making her overall score a 0 once you have a family and she decides she wants another guy. Be cautious.

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post #11 of 141 (permalink) Old 04-02-2017, 04:40 PM
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Re: So it's been 2 weeks

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OP,
Perhaps you should reevaluate your reason for attending a house of worship. Also, if you are grading your females on outward appearance only then be prepared to have your score averaged out. A woman who is an 8, questionable 9 may be only a 2, questionable 3 in trustworthiness thereby making her overall score a 0 once you have a family and she decides she wants another guy. Be cautious.
I agree. The way the op think its ok to grade women and give them a number purely for the way they look is appalling. It sort of shows how he views women.
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post #12 of 141 (permalink) Old 04-02-2017, 05:38 PM
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Re: So it's been 2 weeks

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I agree. The way the op think its ok to grade women and give them a number purely for the way they look is appalling. It sort of shows how he views women.
This is something a 6 or less would say.
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post #13 of 141 (permalink) Old 04-02-2017, 05:51 PM Thread Starter
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Re: So it's been 2 weeks

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I mean, do you care what anyone else at the church thinks about you? If not, then why just her?

You gotta let her go, it's not healthy to hold on to something that just isn't there.
That's a valid point! I don't really care what anyone else at the church may think. Just her. I had the thought that she would try to initiate contact once I stopped, too, but that lasted for about a week.

I know I've got to move on. I always do. She definitely made it seem like there was something there for a while but I see it was only what I was wanting to see. I'll be fine. I guess I need a little more time.

Some of the motivation she gives me, though, is not so much about getting her back as it to prove her wrong. She is NOT the best I've ever had nor is she my ONLY option.

And, yes, the last time I was hitting the gym, the grade of women I attracted definitely went up a notch or two. :-P

Last edited by marksaysay; 04-02-2017 at 06:03 PM.
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post #14 of 141 (permalink) Old 04-02-2017, 06:21 PM
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Re: So it's been 2 weeks

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That's a valid point! I don't really care what anyone else at the church may think. Just her. I had the thought that she would try to initiate contact once I stopped, too, but that lasted for about a week.
You want her to initiate contact. You want her to be impressed by your appearance. You want to get back with her. You're about the only one on this thread who doesn't know that.

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Some of the motivation she gives me, though, is not so much about getting her back as it to prove her wrong.
You want to prove her wrong because what she thinks about you, matters.

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And, yes, the last time I was hitting the gym, the grade of women I attracted definitely went up a notch or two. :-P
That would naturally follow. Although what you said is not quite accurate. You attract a higher grade of women when you're fit, but you still attract the fat ugly ones too. You just don't notice them.
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post #15 of 141 (permalink) Old 04-02-2017, 06:21 PM Thread Starter
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Re: So it's been 2 weeks

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OP,
Perhaps you should reevaluate your reason for attending a house of worship. Also, if you are grading your females on outward appearance only then be prepared to have your score averaged out. A woman who is an 8, questionable 9 may be only a 2, questionable 3 in trustworthiness thereby making her overall score a 0 once you have a family and she decides she wants another guy. Be cautious.
My frame of thought concerning the church is definitely not in the right place, so thank you for that. Secondly, men are visual creatures. In most cases, the outward appearance is where most men start.
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