I know I am in the wrong but I ended up reading the text message. Only to find out it was a woman and they met on Tinder. The conversation was innocent enough.
You think you were in the wrong because you were suspicious about a text and you read it and it turns out your suspicions were correct? You're wrong, but only about thinking you were wrong. This is just the beginning of the checking up on him you'll need to be doing. It started with that text but it won't end unless you either decide to bury your head in the sand or divorce him.
Tinder in my mind is for one thing, sex. So in a panic I immediately said something to my husband when he returned to the car.
Tinder is a place to hookup and have sex. The conversation was "innocent enough" because it was just getting started. Your BIG mistake was immediately confronting him because all that will do is make him more careful going forward and you didn't have much on him so he easily deflected.
He become defensive and aggressive.He got in my face and screamed and well we were stopped at a light he got out of the bar and punched my window.
Yes that's what they do. You know the expression. The best defense is a good offense. If you expect a person who has cheated or is going to cheat or is thinking about cheating to immediately confess to the complete truth- whatever it may be- you are badly mistaken.
He clearly continued to lie.
Here's what you know for sure. Your husband is a liar, and he was on a dating site looking to hookup with a woman for sex. Anything else is just conjecture. But I think it's enough for most people to realize their marriage is in serious trouble. It's even enough for a lot of people to immediately file for divorce.
Later on once we got home he admitted he started the profile on Monday. I looked at the profile and the women he messaged. the conversations were innocent enough.
The conversations were innocent because he either deleted the ones that weren't innocent or he wasn't on there long enough to get into the other stuff.
He said it was because I don't appreciate him. That I don't give him enough attention. He feels like I don't even listen when he speaks.
Yeah it's all your fault, not his. He has no remorse. Sorry but this isn't going to work out with him because he doesn't see a problem with his behavior.
This is not the first time an incident similar to this happened. He has reached out to exs in the past for conversation. He also reached out to a sight that was for "conversations" with pretty girls.
He's a repeat, remorseless offender who blames you for his actions and lies to you repeatedly.
I don't know why this one hurts.
Because it's getting to the point that you can no longer deny that your marriage is in trouble and that he's cheating on you or will eventually cheat on you.
I thought about just going on Tinder to hurt him
All that will do is give him a green light to go hook up with some girl. He's already blaming you. "She's doing it, so I can too".
Nothing to save here. The only solution is to divorce his lying, cheating, blaming ass.