my husband has not or would not do this but i have a friend whos husband did this and i have thought it over and want your input.
If your husband payed an escort for sex for 1 hour would it be cheating? there is no eotional conection its just sex? but at the same time it is sex!!!!!
I am going to answer a different questions, but one that is perhaps more important.
The reason has to do with what cheating on a spouse really means and the statement that paid escort sex has no emotional connection.
The question I am going to answer is if a husband paid an escort or a stripper, is that a good reason for a wife to divorce the husband?
I would agree with invictus that it depends.
As has been pointed out paying a stripper, even if he gets a lap dance and lusts after her, may not be something someone wants to break up a marriage for, if you have children and if it is a rare thing. Would it be better if the wife gave her H a lap dance or twerked for him when the kids were asleep? Yes. Would paying a stripper to give him a BJ or go out to a car in the parking lot for a quickie be grounds for divorce? Possibly, but then again it might be repairable with proper remorse, counseling and changed behavior.
Now as to the escort. Again, I think that this is also situational for the couple. Just prior to my post we had a woman who due to illness encouraged her husband to pay for certain oral sex as she was medically and emotionally unable to meet his sex needs.
Having said that I would also say, that I have seen a number of stories on the number of escorts who find that men would rather pay them to talk to them, than to have sex with them. If that is the case I see little difference in talking to an escort or a marriage counselor, as long as there is no emotional attachment.
Now getting to paying for sex with an escort, that really depends on the reasons. One of the things I learned in my sex starved marriage is that lack of sex between a husband and wife is often partially the responsibility of both partners. That was a hard lesson for me to learn. I didn't for quite a while realize that I was a big part of why my wife would not have sex with me and had emotionally checked out of our marriage.
I think that unprotected sex, emotional involvement, improperly spending family money, denying sex to a spouse, and sex outside of marriage can (but don't have to be) grounds for divorce. It really depends on the two people.
It amazes me what some women (and husbands) are willing to put up with from a wayward spouse and still want to try to save the marriage. However, having been in a Sex Starved Marriage and the one who was looking at a future life of celibacy and yet committed himself to changing himself and fighting to save my marriage, I can understand the desire and benefit of reconciling with a spouse. Because of that, I really think that whether paying for strippers or escorts is grounds for divorce depends a lot on what happened, why it happened and the couple and their situation.
Good luck and don't be the one to tell your friend. If you feel compelled to tell your H to tell the man to knock it off and get him and his wife to a good marriage counselor before he destroys his marriage.
P.S. My sex starved marriage had nothing to do with an infidelity on either of our parts. We just emotionally drifted apart. My wife then emotionally hurt me whenever we had sex to regain her emotional distance. Ultimately that pain conditioned us to not have sex. In retrospect each and every day of our marriage we told each other that we loved our spouse, but just not in (Chapman) love languages that the other could hear or understand.