The underlying failure built into most marriages - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 100 (permalink) Old 04-04-2017, 08:26 AM Thread Starter
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The underlying failure built into most marriages

I can see now that I'm in the process divorcing my wife of 6 years, what I believe to be the underlying cause of most relationship failures.

Women are apathetic and lazy... ESPECIALLY in regards to the images that they have been projecting outwards to the public since the start of feminism.

Here is the post that caused me to write this. Apathetic husband for too long...

This is a zombie post from 2011 and my comment is the last.

Sure, women have a higher enrollment and graduation from graduate school. You want to know what happens after they earn those degrees? They work well below their means and often for part time hourly wages. They will constantly talk about how 'I have a ____ degree! As if a piece of paper will force someone to pay them a certain salary for the sole reason that some institution gave her a piece of paper. You actually have to get a career going to make the degree worth anything! The reasons why they do this are many.

1. They want time with the kids (never ends, even when they go to school)
2. They want to have fun
3. They want to work from home (have fun / kids)
4. They believe a man should carry most of the financial burden

So what happens is that a young woman will talk a big game about how she's a 'strong female' and 'independent', how she 'doesn't need a man', how she 'takes care of herself', and all the rest of the typical bull**** that we all know to well.

Then, after marriage and after a few years of observing her backsliding on all her past ambitions and platitudes, the man determines that he's been lied to and is now being taken advantage of.

The man, never wanting or believing that this is how things would turn out become embittered, and starts to resent the woman. This causes

1. Poor treatment
2. Fighting due to the obvious resentment caused by to the glaring inequality now present in the relationship
3. cheating

The women now blames the man for the cheating, she will forever blame the marriage failure on the marriage on the cheating, bit this is only the smoke. The fire that caused the smoke is the apathetic and lazy attitude that women usually develop once they are comfortable in a LTR. FIGHT THE FIRE, NOT THE SMOKE.

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post #2 of 100 (permalink) Old 04-04-2017, 08:29 AM
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Re: The underlying failure built into most marriages

"Women are apathetic and lazy... ESPECIALLY in regards to the images that they have been projecting outwards to the public since the start of feminism."



"Life always offers you a second chance. It's called tomorrow."
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post #3 of 100 (permalink) Old 04-04-2017, 08:40 AM
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Re: The underlying failure built into most marriages

Ridiculous!

Too bad you won't comprehend all the post to come.

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Last edited by anchorwatch; 04-04-2017 at 08:48 AM.
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post #4 of 100 (permalink) Old 04-04-2017, 08:41 AM
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Re: The underlying failure built into most marriages

Quote:
Originally Posted by 53791263 View Post
I can see now that I'm in the process divorcing my wife of 6 years, what I believe to be the underlying cause of most relationship failures.

Women are apathetic and lazy... ESPECIALLY in regards to the images that they have been projecting outwards to the public since the start of feminism.

Here is the post that caused me to write this. Apathetic husband for too long...

This is a zombie post from 2011 and my comment is the last.

Sure, women have a higher enrollment and graduation from graduate school. You want to know what happens after they earn those degrees? They work well below their means and often for part time hourly wages. They will constantly talk about how 'I have a ____ degree! As if a piece of paper will force someone to pay them a certain salary for the sole reason that some institution gave her a piece of paper. You actually have to get a career going to make the degree worth anything! The reasons why they do this are many.

1. They want time with the kids (never ends, even when they go to school)
2. They want to have fun
3. They want to work from home (have fun / kids)
4. They believe a man should carry most of the financial burden

So what happens is that a young woman will talk a big game about how she's a 'strong female' and 'independent', how she 'doesn't need a man', how she 'takes care of herself', and all the rest of the typical bull**** that we all know to well.

Then, after marriage and after a few years of observing her backsliding on all her past ambitions and platitudes, the man determines that he's been lied to and is now being taken advantage of.

The man, never wanting or believing that this is how things would turn out become embittered, and starts to resent the woman. This causes

1. Poor treatment
2. Fighting due to the obvious resentment caused by to the glaring inequality now present in the relationship
3. cheating

The women now blames the man for the cheating, she will forever blame the marriage failure on the marriage on the cheating, bit this is only the smoke. The fire that caused the smoke is the apathetic and lazy attitude that women usually develop once they are comfortable in a LTR. FIGHT THE FIRE, NOT THE SMOKE.

I agree with none of this.

“You're painfully alive in a drugged and dying culture.”
― Richard Yates, Revolutionary Road
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post #5 of 100 (permalink) Old 04-04-2017, 08:58 AM
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Re: The underlying failure built into most marriages

OP, I don't think you realize this says more about you and your choice in women than it does about women in general.

It's like women who say all men are dogs without realizing, if you're a biatch, what else are you expecting to attract?
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post #6 of 100 (permalink) Old 04-04-2017, 09:06 AM
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Re: The underlying failure built into most marriages

Wow, I don't even know where to begin with this. I take it that you were seriously scorned by your soon to be ex-wife because of the reasons you mentioned? Well, I do have news for you: not all women are like this. Some are, just like some men are, but absolutely everyone doesn't deserve to get boxed into that category. Some of us are very hard workers. Hell, I worked 4 jobs at one point, and after months of working 7 day weeks, I made a major mistake at one of my jobs. Not major enough to get fired, but it was something important that I (as lead supervisor) had forgotten to do. I decided to cut back to 6-day weeks. Why did I do this? To pay for college because I refused my parent to pay for my schooling, and to also pay my car off to get out of debt. I've since purchased 2 brand new homes for myself, the last one of which my husband has moved into with me. I no longer work crazy hours; I have 1 full time job, and 2 side businesses, 1 of which keeps me fairy busy. I also work hard to keep our home clean, make sure we have homecooked meals everyday, take care of our dogs, and keep up on my own health and wellness. My husband help when he's able to, which isn't overly often. Not that he's lazy; he's just too busy with his own work. This is one of the reasons I'm considering separation: he so busy that we spend time together every few months, and I'm left to take care of almost everything. That's not fair, and it makes me feel like we're great roommates, but not so great as a cohesive team.

As for jobs and pay, I think women are finally catching up to men in that regard a little more, but there's still that gender gap when it comes to pay. I haven't had a pay raise since 2007 or 2008. Not because I don't work hard, but because the economy sucks, and I've quit some jobs or gotten laid off, and I work in a field that isn't high-paying to begin with. I kick in more than half of our living expenses even though my husband doubles my salary. This is just the way it's worked; he moved in with me from his Mom's house. I had the mortgage, and it's still solely my home as his name isn't on the deed.

So yeah, while I can see your point to a degree, not every woman out there is like you describe. Not even almost every woman is like that. And by the way, wanting to spend more time with the kids... Raising a family IS a full time job; just one that doesn't pay money.


Quote:
Originally Posted by 53791263 View Post
I can see now that I'm in the process divorcing my wife of 6 years, what I believe to be the underlying cause of most relationship failures.

Women are apathetic and lazy... ESPECIALLY in regards to the images that they have been projecting outwards to the public since the start of feminism.

Here is the post that caused me to write this. Apathetic husband for too long...

This is a zombie post from 2011 and my comment is the last.

Sure, women have a higher enrollment and graduation from graduate school. You want to know what happens after they earn those degrees? They work well below their means and often for part time hourly wages. They will constantly talk about how 'I have a ____ degree! As if a piece of paper will force someone to pay them a certain salary for the sole reason that some institution gave her a piece of paper. You actually have to get a career going to make the degree worth anything! The reasons why they do this are many.

1. They want time with the kids (never ends, even when they go to school)
2. They want to have fun
3. They want to work from home (have fun / kids)
4. They believe a man should carry most of the financial burden

So what happens is that a young woman will talk a big game about how she's a 'strong female' and 'independent', how she 'doesn't need a man', how she 'takes care of herself', and all the rest of the typical bull**** that we all know to well.

Then, after marriage and after a few years of observing her backsliding on all her past ambitions and platitudes, the man determines that he's been lied to and is now being taken advantage of.

The man, never wanting or believing that this is how things would turn out become embittered, and starts to resent the woman. This causes

1. Poor treatment
2. Fighting due to the obvious resentment caused by to the glaring inequality now present in the relationship
3. cheating

The women now blames the man for the cheating, she will forever blame the marriage failure on the marriage on the cheating, bit this is only the smoke. The fire that caused the smoke is the apathetic and lazy attitude that women usually develop once they are comfortable in a LTR. FIGHT THE FIRE, NOT THE SMOKE.
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post #7 of 100 (permalink) Old 04-04-2017, 09:10 AM
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Re: The underlying failure built into most marriages

You lost me here. How does a woman earning a degree and not starting a career end up being blamed on a man as cheating???

"I've paid double for every transgression I've ever made and that motel and that boat are little to ask for"
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post #8 of 100 (permalink) Old 04-04-2017, 09:14 AM
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Cool Re: The underlying failure built into most marriages

I'm sorry, but failure in a marital relationship is often a two-way street!

Something occurred or did not occur that caused one of the spouses to stray. I don't care if the BS was as innocent as Mother Theresa!

Even in my case of "presumed innocence" as a BS, perhaps it was that I was too much of a goody-two-shoes for my WS; maybe it was my unwillingness to accept her thuggish, criminally-deviant children that she had raised, as my own; perhaps it my adverse quasi-liberal political beliefs, compared to her arch-conservative ones; maybe there's not enough pizazz and excitement; perhaps it was her massive wealth compared to my proletariat state; and then again, maybe it was none of these excuses and maybe just something else that drove my RSXW to cheat, although she had also had a rumored history of even cheating on her deceased first husband!

Now I will continue going through life questioning that there's something in my makeup is what drove both of my cheating W's away and will resurface into any other subsequent relationships that I may enter into! There is now a serious lack of trust that has been built up around me!

Given that, I can certainly understand why BS's feel the way that they do, although in no uncertain terms is any of what happened to them even remotely any of their fault!!

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Last edited by arbitrator; 04-04-2017 at 09:21 AM. Reason: Edification
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post #9 of 100 (permalink) Old 04-04-2017, 09:55 AM
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Re: The underlying failure built into most marriages

Cmon people. Ignore the words. Feel the message. The guy is hurting, and venting.
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post #10 of 100 (permalink) Old 04-04-2017, 10:14 AM Thread Starter
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Re: The underlying failure built into most marriages

Quote:
Originally Posted by Keke24 View Post
OP, I don't think you realize this says more about you and your choice in women than it does about women in general.
100% correct, won't happen again.

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post #11 of 100 (permalink) Old 04-04-2017, 10:45 AM
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Re: The underlying failure built into most marriages

This isn't representative of all (probably not most?) women / marriages, however, it is very representative of the vocal ones pushing feminism today.

I've seen the basic formula OP is talking about unfold often:
1) woman achieves degree
2) woman "don't need no man"
3) woman works part time (or significantly less hours than her male counterparts and complains about how she doesn't make as much as them
4) woman actually does need a man and gets married anyways
5) woman works less or not at all to childrear
6) husband works extra hours to pick up the slack on the economic end
7) husband is dog tired and doesn't help as much with the house / kids
8) wife resents husband for being a good husband and paying their bills
9) husband senses the resentment and reciprocates it
10) massive relationship problems ensue

This is really only limited to a certain portion of the population, but it is sizable enough to be very visible, and it really needs addressing.

The last paragraph from OP is pretty ridiculous. If the man cheats, that's on him. She didn't make him. He chose it.

My solution to this is to test your girlfriends for the feminism derangement. If they have it, dump them. Fast. The last thing on earth you need is a man-hating harpy to emerge several years down the road.
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post #12 of 100 (permalink) Old 04-04-2017, 11:34 AM
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Re: The underlying failure built into most marriages

As Judge Judy says: "You picked 'em"

You picked her and stayed with her for years.

But now you see yourself as a victim, and everyone else is blame/wrong but me! It's the feminists, they did it!

You're hurting, you're getting divorced, you have my sympathy but please know that it's takes two to make a marriage and two to break it. Accept some accountability that you both contributed to the breakdown of it instead of blaming it all on her and some group.


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post #13 of 100 (permalink) Old 04-04-2017, 11:43 AM Thread Starter
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Re: The underlying failure built into most marriages

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My solution to this is to test your girlfriends for the feminism derangement. If they have it, dump them. Fast.
Bingo
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post #14 of 100 (permalink) Old 04-04-2017, 11:52 AM
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Re: The underlying failure built into most marriages

The OP can be 'hurting and venting' all he wants.

It doesn't give him the right to act like an all-knowing, omnipotent being who has the authority to speak negatively about an entire gender, accusing them of being exactly like the woman who obviously done him wrong. Direct your anger at your ex, OP. Where it belongs.
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post #15 of 100 (permalink) Old 04-04-2017, 12:04 PM
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Re: The underlying failure built into most marriages

This cannot be applied to ALL WOMEN, just as other things cannot be applied to ALL MEN. You chose badly. OWN IT. You became bitter instead of insisting that work be done to change things. OWN IT. You stayed despite your unhappiness. OWN IT.

Her cheating is ALL ON HER. She cannot blame you no matter how unhappy she was. She sounds like a peach...

Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.


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