Care to update given your recent posts on other threads?
Well surprisingly since Easter things have been pretty good up until recently when her dismissive attitude started coming back. I had thought that things really were finally on the right track. Since my last post I have gone through the audio from the VARís and there was nothing, I heard her walking around and leaving the house. Looking at the video again I can see that car had moved and I did hear her come back into the house later and the sound of rustling plastic bags. So once again there is no evidence of anything going on other than just really odd behavior so maybe unplugging the cameras was another test to see if Iíd say something proving to her that I was spying on her, I donít know.
She started a new job and has been very happy and hasnít seemed as depressed as she had been. The ironic thing is that her old job was the number one source of our arguments. Sheís an incredibly hard worker and always puts in the extra effort, she always feels that as a woman in a male dominated field that she always needs to go that extra mile to prove herself. For years her old firm told her things and made promises that they never followed through on and it upset me as much as it upset her. My mistake was that I always voiced my opinion about how I felt they were taking advantage of her to her. She always told me that I just didnít understand how her industry worked and that I just donít get it. Thatís where the irony comes into play, all the reasons that she left and everything I heard her tell other people about why she left her old firm were the exact things that Iíve been telling her for years that always started arguments. I didnít say anything when I heard her say these things recently because I didnít want to start anything, I just kind of laughed it off to myself. I am extremely proud of her and I have let her know that and Iím happy that she made the move and seems happy about it. Our relationship and conversations really did improve and it started to feel like a relationship again up until about a week ago.
I had surgery and was pretty much immobile for a few days. It was an outpatient procedure so she brought me to the hospital and then went out for lunch with a friend but was back just as I was coming out of anesthesia. She brought me home, got me settled in and then went out to run errands. Our son was with my parents and they dropped him off around 7:00pm that night, she didnít get home until about a half hour after that. The next day after our son got on the bus she went to the gym, when she got back she got changed and went to meet a friend for lunch and then make a couple other stops. She picked up our son from school, made her stops and again got home after 7:00pm. That weekend was pretty much the same thing, take our son to his sports and then run errands, some with him and some without him but each day not returning home until early evening. There was nothing suspicious about her being gone all the time but I did think it was odd that here I am not really able to move around the first two days and then fairly limited the next two and she was never there. Iím not saying that I thought I shouldíve had constant attention or anything but at least be around a little bit but she wasnít. I didnít say anything about this to her because I knew it would just cause an argument.
The day I went back to work her dismissive attitude towards me started to come back. I didnít say anything and just kept doing what I needed to do. We spent the following Friday night together having drinks, talking and laughing, the following night we had friends over and it was like I wasnít even there. Anything I said to her got dismissed, during conversations if I said something she would then say something basically changing topics from what I was talking about, if I put my arm around her or something she would quickly think of something she needed to get and walk away, it was just odd considering things had been better.
The following morning she started an argument about where something was for our son. I told her where I last saw it but she was basically yelling at me because I didnít know where it was. Then the argument took a turn towards us and she asked me what my problem was with her. I really had no intentions of starting anything and I am a little upset with myself that I let her get to me but I told her that Iím tired of her dismissive, unaffectionate, withdrawn attitude towards me and I was just done. She asked what I meant by how I said I was done and asked if I was leaving her. I told her that I was getting close to that and that Iím tired of her always treating me like I did something wrong and that I need to make it up to her when I havenít done anything wrong. And then I told her how for the past year she has been the one causing the problems and not me but she keeps either throwing it back on me or giving me the attitude that I did something wrong and itís my job to fix it. I ended the conversation with how Iím just tired of it and I canít keep living like this.
Since then we havenít really spoken much, just household and things about our son. I know that I shouldnít have said what I said because I knew it would just cause more problems but at the same time Iím happy I said it. Iím not going to apologize for it, Iím not going to try and smooth things over, Iím just going to keep living my life and see how things progress.