Originally Posted by Justtryingtosurvive View Post
They have me on muscle relaxers but it isn't quite the same and I can take Advil ext but again not quite the same or enough but alas those are the rules I gotta live by and I made that choice long ago. Her parents called today and asked rather calmly if I would be ok with meeting them for lunch on Saturday to talk and I told them I would get back to them and let them know by tomorrow night. Not sure what good it will do to meet up with them right now and while meeting in public would probably keep them on their best behavior not sure what good it would do like I said. Also talked with my family about the nanny issue and they told me not to look into one that they wanted to watch him which is what I figured but I told them if it becomes too much that I wanted them to tell me right away and I would get a nanny.
I think it's a good idea to meet with them. In public. But make sure you avoid topics like being on muscle relaxers, your previous addiction, etc.
I completely understand you losing your cool with your son's grandparents. They were out of line. That said, in the long run, I think it would be best to try to work something out with them. Obviously don't let them have overnights with the kid, only supervised visits until you're comfortable. Consider that they are probably just as emotionally hurt as you are, maybe worse, because they just lost a daughter. And I'm sure they're terrified of losing the opportunity to see her only son. That fear likely caused them to act rashly, and then you--through no fault but theirs--confirmed their fears by taking the kid out of their lives. (Talk about self-fulfilling prophecies)
You might try sitting down with them tomorrow, and saying something "Hey, look, I'm sorry if I flipped out on you, but when you came to me and demanded custody of my son, it caused me to panic. I'm not giving him up. But I also want him to have his grandparents in his life. What you did really damaged my trust for you and it's going to take a lot for us to rebuild that, but I know you've got to be hurting, just like me, because while I just lost the mother of my son, you lost your daughter. And I know our son is your only connection to her. Why don't you guys meet us at [public place] on [pick a date] so he can spend some time with his grandparents."
ETA: Obviously if they won't see reason, or keep acting crazy, they'll have to go.