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post #16 of 284 (permalink) Old 04-08-2017, 01:47 AM
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Re: New here, Dead fiancees parents are trying to take my son

So you don't have to sue your child's grand parents. That's not what we are suggesting. Instead they can only take your son if they go through the courts and file for custody. Then you get a lawyer to fight them. So, unless they actually try to go to court to take your child away from you, you don't need anything more than a consultation with a lawyer, maybe half hour to one hour so that can ask questions about what the grandparents rights are in your state and what you need to do to keep them from having a case to take your son away.

So you don't have to sue your child's grand parents. That's not what we are suggesting. Instead they can only take your son if they go through the courts and file for custody. Then you get a lawyer to fight them.

If you don't mind sharing your state, I could find you some info that is available through the internet for a case like yours.

in the last two months, about how much time do they spend with your son? Are they baby sitting him? Or does he spend a lot of time with them?

Is anyone in your family involved with you son? Do you have any help from your family?


Are you talking to your son's maternal grandparents now after they told you that they wanted to take have custody of him? If so, how often do you now see them?

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post #17 of 284 (permalink) Old 04-08-2017, 01:48 AM
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Re: New here, Dead fiancees parents are trying to take my son

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There reasoning for wanting to take my son away is because I am not totally mobile yet they don't trust me to not become self-destructive and be able to take care of my son. But I tried telling them that what happened in the past has no bearing on the future for me
Can you clarify what you mean by the bolded text? It reads as though they may have legitimate concerns...which may not be the case, hence my question...
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post #18 of 284 (permalink) Old 04-08-2017, 01:50 AM
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Re: New here, Dead fiancees parents are trying to take my son

@Justtryingtosurvive

How old you?

Do you have a job right now? I get the impression that you do not.
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post #19 of 284 (permalink) Old 04-08-2017, 02:55 AM Thread Starter
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Re: New here, Dead fiancees parents are trying to take my son

I live in Washington, After they made this request/demand They haven't been welcomed over or to see my son at all. But before then I had an open door policy with them and they would come over and spend a lot of time visiting ext. I have a lot of family help from my parents to my sister's been really nice to have the amount of help that I have but also probably to keep an eye on me. I have a job and am currently on medical leave. And I am 25 years old, I spend almost every waking moment with my son when I am not at the doctors or in physical therapy.

Last edited by Justtryingtosurvive; 04-08-2017 at 03:00 AM.
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post #20 of 284 (permalink) Old 04-08-2017, 02:58 AM Thread Starter
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Re: New here, Dead fiancees parents are trying to take my son

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Can you clarify what you mean by the bolded text? It reads as though they may have legitimate concerns...which may not be the case, hence my question...
I used to be a drug addict but I turned my life around and have been sober for a very long time but I told my fiancee this when we first started dating just to be very upfront with her and let her know I had some demons. I got addicted to heroin when I was in high school and It was a dark time but with the help of family and friends I got clean went to college and graduated and had an incredibly amazing job. But because of that history I am short tempered from the pain I am in because I am not allowed to have pain killers.
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post #21 of 284 (permalink) Old 04-08-2017, 03:49 AM
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Re: New here, Dead fiancees parents are trying to take my son

Congrats on getting off of drugs. I hope you never ever revisit that past.
Sorry for your lost... and your son's loss of his mother.

My advice is from my state with what I know.
1 - they have NO rights to your son. Unless YOU are a danger to your son.
2 - Don't let them get you down. They have nothing. They farked themselves.
3 - Your lawyer can EASILY write up an agreement (maybe an affidavit is enough) that states that when or IF you are incapacitated, injured or dead, that YOUR parents and/or sister have FIRST rights to your son.

4 - In many states, for them to have "rights" to your son, they would have to be taking care of him *IN THIER HOME* for 6 months straight. Let's say if you lived on the streets on drugs, then they would have legal grounds to request custodial rights. But as long as YOU live and you are sane, **YOU* are the father. You can take your son and leave the state and nothing they can do about it. At best, they can request the court to give them supervised visitations. What they did, was severely hurt themselves... how stupid of them.

5 - Will PT get you back on your feet? How long before you get there? I've been there, but it only took a few months. I couldn't take care of my son, drive, etc for a while.

Really, take it easy. There is not much they can do. If they go to a lawyer and try to... they may take their money, but a good one will still tell them "you have less than a 1% chance of winning". It would take a day to write up an agreement, that gives your parent the rights to your son if needed in the future.

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post #22 of 284 (permalink) Old 04-08-2017, 11:06 AM
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Re: New here, Dead fiancees parents are trying to take my son

Quote:
Originally Posted by Justtryingtosurvive View Post
I live in Washington, After they made this request/demand They haven't been welcomed over or to see my son at all. But before then I had an open door policy with them and they would come over and spend a lot of time visiting ext. I have a lot of family help from my parents to my sister's been really nice to have the amount of help that I have but also probably to keep an eye on me. I have a job and am currently on medical leave. And I am 25 years old, I spend almost every waking moment with my son when I am not at the doctors or in physical therapy.
Do Grandparents Have Visitation Rights in Washington? | DivorceNet.com

https://app.leg.wa.gov/rcw/default.aspx?cite=26.09.240


The below link is to a grand parent's advocacy group who are lobbying to get the laws changed in Washington because "Washington State is currently the only state that does not offer grandparents legal recourse to petition for visitation other than as a part of a current dissolution, separation or parenting plan."

Grandparents Rights of Washington

So, according to the above, right now her parents cannot even sue you for visitation because according to current laws, they cannot do this unless there is current dissolution (divorce) , separation or parenting plan in the courts.
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post #23 of 284 (permalink) Old 04-08-2017, 11:47 AM
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Re: New here, Dead fiancees parents are trying to take my son

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Sorry for the late response, was dealing with a few things. There reasoning for wanting to take my son away is because I am not totally mobile yet they don't trust me to not become self-destructive and be able to take care of my son. But I tried telling them that what happened in the past has no bearing on the future for me and that my son is my only concern as well as getting back onto my feet. I am just really hesitant to sue my child's grandparents but I cannot and will not allow them to try and take my kid from me. I already have a lawyer for the drunk driver and a few other things but I suppose I can also just hire them for this situation with my child's grandparents. Simply do not need this kind of pressure on me right now and it is not helpful and in fact is just making things worse.
Why would you need to sue them?
Like you they are grieving, but unless you are on drugs or drink to excess, or are otherwise a neglectful or abusive dad, there is no way they will be able to get custody of their grandchild, so I wouldn't worry.
Please please let them retain regular contact with their grandchild, it will benefit them and the child so much. The child will benefit from having a female role model as well.
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post #24 of 284 (permalink) Old 04-08-2017, 03:44 PM
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Re: New here, Dead fiancees parents are trying to take my son

Female role model? He's recovering...

They just threaten to take away his son for stupid reasons. People that crazy and dumb may become a liability for kidnapping - it happens.

An article on "grandparents" rights. Grandparent Rights? No! | The Huffington Post

He had an open door policy with them and his son... they came into his house and attempted to steal.

bu-Bye.

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post #25 of 284 (permalink) Old 04-08-2017, 04:14 PM
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Re: New here, Dead fiancees parents are trying to take my son

I'm so sorry you are going through this.

One thing I want to suggest is only communicate via text or email so you have all contact documented. If you do speak to them, have a VAR so they cannot twist your words or tell people things that you didn't really say.

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post #26 of 284 (permalink) Old 04-08-2017, 04:38 PM
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Re: New here, Dead fiancees parents are trying to take my son

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Female role model? He's recovering...

They just threaten to take away his son for stupid reasons. People that crazy and dumb may become a liability for kidnapping - it happens.

An article on "grandparents" rights. Grandparent Rights? No! | The Huffington Post

He had an open door policy with them and his son... they came into his house and attempted to steal.

bu-Bye.
They didnt attempt to steal, they made a suggestion.
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post #27 of 284 (permalink) Old 04-08-2017, 05:05 PM
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Re: New here, Dead fiancees parents are trying to take my son

They had no justifications to make such a "suggestion".

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post #28 of 284 (permalink) Old 04-08-2017, 09:35 PM
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New here, Dead fiancees parents are trying to take my son

.

I think I'm afraid to be happy. Because whenever I get to happy, something bad always happens.

Last edited by giddiot; 04-13-2017 at 08:47 PM.
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post #29 of 284 (permalink) Old 04-08-2017, 10:50 PM
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Re: New here, Dead fiancees parents are trying to take my son

Quote:
Originally Posted by Justtryingtosurvive View Post
I used to be a drug addict but I turned my life around and have been sober for a very long time but I told my fiancee this when we first started dating just to be very upfront with her and let her know I had some demons. I got addicted to heroin when I was in high school and It was a dark time but with the help of family and friends I got clean went to college and graduated and had an incredibly amazing job. But because of that history I am short tempered from the pain I am in because I am not allowed to have pain killers.
Ah I suspected so. Well done for cleaning yourself up and turning your life around. I know that it can't have been easy. VERY impressive that you never hid this from your fiancee. Nice work

Going forward, I would still consult with a lawyer for your own peace of mind. It does seem that, from what @EleGirl posted that they have no rights as such when it comes to your son. I do think that it will be good for your stress levels to have that information clarified by a lawyer. The last thing you need right now is more stress. The grandparents need to be reminded that they are dependent on your good will to be able to see their grandchild, and that they need to pull their heads in.

That said, they too have lost someone. They've lost their child and don't want to lose their child's child as well. Please allow them to visit your son ONLY IN YOUR PRESENCE, never alone, nor allow them to take him anywhere. Until things settle down, don't let him out of your sight.



Quote:
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I implore you not to make this adversarial and prohibit the grandparents access to your son. Your fiancée would be horrified with you doing that. Remember they are grieving just like you. Meet with them and work this out. Let them help please.

PS: The grandparents bond and have as strong a love for their grandchildren as they do their own children.
With all due respect, the OP isn't the one who made this adversarial. The grandparents did.
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post #30 of 284 (permalink) Old 04-08-2017, 11:29 PM
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New here, Dead fiancees parents are trying to take my son

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I think I'm afraid to be happy. Because whenever I get to happy, something bad always happens.

Last edited by giddiot; 04-13-2017 at 08:47 PM.
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