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post #31 of 284 (permalink) Old 04-08-2017, 11:44 PM Thread Starter
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Re: New here, Dead fiancees parents are trying to take my son

I believe my reaction was justified and mild in all honesty, I cut them off from seeing my grandson and will consult with an attorney tomorrow. I don't trust them right now and if I can not trust them I do not feel comfortable having them around my son. When they can pull their heads out of their arses then I would probably allow them to see him again if not they will be cut off permanently. As for a female role model if he even needs such a thing, He has my sisters and my mother I believe that is enough female role models in all honesty.

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post #32 of 284 (permalink) Old 04-08-2017, 11:49 PM
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New here, Dead fiancees parents are trying to take my son

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I think I'm afraid to be happy. Because whenever I get to happy, something bad always happens.

Last edited by giddiot; 04-13-2017 at 08:47 PM.
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post #33 of 284 (permalink) Old 04-09-2017, 12:10 AM Thread Starter
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Re: New here, Dead fiancees parents are trying to take my son

I rather wish they would try and pull that on me and I would show the state how well my son is taken care of and loved. He is surrounded by love and caring people. I get the feeling I have stepped on your toes somehow with my situation and I am sorry if that is so but My son is in no danger and never will be he is loved and I am taking care of him.
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post #34 of 284 (permalink) Old 04-09-2017, 12:15 AM
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Re: New here, Dead fiancees parents are trying to take my son

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Originally Posted by giddiot View Post
What made this adversarial if you read it was his "incredibly angry reaction and he lost it". He is only 25 years old and this is his first child. I would suspect he will need a lot of help raising his first child, it is certainly not an easy task. It will cause him a lot of stress.

I know I as a grandparent I would be concerned knowing the stress I was under with my children that he might fall back on his addiction. Whether that would happen or not I don't know.

You should really talk with her parents about how you want to keep your son but would like for them to be in his life and listen to what they have to say. That's a lot more sensible than his current action keeping him from his grandparents out of a lack of maturity.
I did read it. I too would react with anger if someone intimated that they were going to try to take my child away.

He has help from his family, and if you read my post I did say he should allow his fiancee's parents to see their grandchild, even if that means only in his presence until things settle down.

This is a highly stressful for situation for both the OP and the grandparents. Emotions are running high...everyone needs to calm down.
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post #35 of 284 (permalink) Old 04-09-2017, 12:19 AM
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New here, Dead fiancees parents are trying to take my son

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I think I'm afraid to be happy. Because whenever I get to happy, something bad always happens.

Last edited by giddiot; 04-13-2017 at 08:46 PM.
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post #36 of 284 (permalink) Old 04-09-2017, 12:25 AM
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New here, Dead fiancees parents are trying to take my son

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I think I'm afraid to be happy. Because whenever I get to happy, something bad always happens.

Last edited by giddiot; 04-13-2017 at 08:46 PM.
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post #37 of 284 (permalink) Old 04-09-2017, 12:40 AM
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Re: New here, Dead fiancees parents are trying to take my son

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They had no justifications to make such a "suggestion".
We dont know the background.
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post #38 of 284 (permalink) Old 04-09-2017, 12:43 AM
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Re: New here, Dead fiancees parents are trying to take my son

Just,
Sounds like you are on rock solid ground here. Thing is - that being the case - you have little to fear from them. Best move is to talk to your lawyer - about how to 'manage' them - and find a way to allow them to be part of your support system.

Their fears are normal. I am not saying that they are 'valid', just normal. When you return to work - child care is going to be a big deal. These folks - their grandchild is all that is left of their daughter - so they will likely be super helpful to you.

Yeah - yeah - I get it. Trying to take custody isn't exactly helpful - but show some compassion here. You lost your fiancée - they lost their daughter. I would let them use their one 'get out of jail free' card on this mistake they just made.

Those two people - created the woman you planned to spend the rest of your life with. They are probably decent folks.

So set them straight - firmly but politely - and then let them help you and their grandchild.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Justtryingtosurvive View Post
I rather wish they would try and pull that on me and I would show the state how well my son is taken care of and loved. He is surrounded by love and caring people. I get the feeling I have stepped on your toes somehow with my situation and I am sorry if that is so but My son is in no danger and never will be he is loved and I am taking care of him.
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post #39 of 284 (permalink) Old 04-09-2017, 12:48 AM
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New here, Dead fiancees parents are trying to take my son

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I think I'm afraid to be happy. Because whenever I get to happy, something bad always happens.

Last edited by giddiot; 04-13-2017 at 08:45 PM.
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post #40 of 284 (permalink) Old 04-09-2017, 12:49 AM
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Re: New here, Dead fiancees parents are trying to take my son

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I believe my reaction was justified and mild in all honesty, I cut them off from seeing my grandson and will consult with an attorney tomorrow. I don't trust them right now and if I can not trust them I do not feel comfortable having them around my son. When they can pull their heads out of their arses then I would probably allow them to see him again if not they will be cut off permanently. As for a female role model if he even needs such a thing, He has my sisters and my mother I believe that is enough female role models in all honesty.
As a grandparent myself that is a very cruel and unjustified way to act. OK you have lost your fiance which is horrible, you have known maybe a few years, they have lost their daughter who they have dearly loved and cared for all her life. They now face you not letting them see her only child.
Yes you have YOUR family, BUT is this what your fiance would have wanted? That you cut her mum and dad out of her child's life? That you react so badly to what was just a suggestion?
You could have said that no, you will bring your child up, but you would love for them to regularly see the child and have a good relationship with him. Cutting your fiances family out of his life is wrong. They are part of his family as much as yours are.

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post #41 of 284 (permalink) Old 04-09-2017, 12:58 AM
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New here, Dead fiancees parents are trying to take my son

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I think I'm afraid to be happy. Because whenever I get to happy, something bad always happens.

Last edited by giddiot; 04-13-2017 at 08:45 PM.
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post #42 of 284 (permalink) Old 04-09-2017, 12:59 AM Thread Starter
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Re: New here, Dead fiancees parents are trying to take my son

It wasn't a suggestion and did not come off as such and I reacted accordingly, I had an open door policy with them and then they tried to burn me. And even if I am on medical leave I am still bringing in a paycheck and can still take care of my son. I am not worried about them going to CPS I highly doubt they would and on the small off chance they might I do not fear CPS or them. If they wanted to be super helpful to me the way they tried wasn't the correct way to go about it. They are going to have to earn my trust back on my terms. Like I said I will consult with an attorney on Monday morning. I make near double what her parents make so this isn't even like where they could provide better for him either. And When I do return to work my parents will be watching over him and then I will get him on my way home from work ext.
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post #43 of 284 (permalink) Old 04-09-2017, 01:00 AM
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New here, Dead fiancees parents are trying to take my son

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I think I'm afraid to be happy. Because whenever I get to happy, something bad always happens.

Last edited by giddiot; 04-13-2017 at 08:45 PM.
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post #44 of 284 (permalink) Old 04-09-2017, 01:23 AM
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Re: New here, Dead fiancees parents are trying to take my son

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It wasn't a suggestion and did not come off as such and I reacted accordingly, I had an open door policy with them and then they tried to burn me. And even if I am on medical leave I am still bringing in a paycheck and can still take care of my son. I am not worried about them going to CPS I highly doubt they would and on the small off chance they might I do not fear CPS or them. If they wanted to be super helpful to me the way they tried wasn't the correct way to go about it. They are going to have to earn my trust back on my terms. Like I said I will consult with an attorney on Monday morning. I make near double what her parents make so this isn't even like where they could provide better for him either. And When I do return to work my parents will be watching over him and then I will get him on my way home from work ext.
Why cant you let them look after the child one day a week when you go back to work? They are just as much his family as your parents are. He will benefit so much from knowing his own mothers family, and your parents may need a day off sometime? Do your parents not work?

Have an honest think about what you fiance would have said about this.
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post #45 of 284 (permalink) Old 04-09-2017, 01:23 AM
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Re: New here, Dead fiancees parents are trying to take my son

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Originally Posted by Justtryingtosurvive View Post
It wasn't a suggestion and did not come off as such and I reacted accordingly, I had an open door policy with them and then they tried to burn me. And even if I am on medical leave I am still bringing in a paycheck and can still take care of my son. I am not worried about them going to CPS I highly doubt they would and on the small off chance they might I do not fear CPS or them. If they wanted to be super helpful to me the way they tried wasn't the correct way to go about it. They are going to have to earn my trust back on my terms. Like I said I will consult with an attorney on Monday morning. I make near double what her parents make so this isn't even like where they could provide better for him either. And When I do return to work my parents will be watching over him and then I will get him on my way home from work ext.
Its not about the money.
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