Originally Posted by Justtryingtosurvive View Post
Thinking of just getting a nanny for my son while I am at work and when I return. Hate to bother my own family and burden them with this. I also took everyone's advice and applied for the Social security for my son and if approved it will be going into a trust fund for him as suggested. Honestly pretty depressed, IF I could go back and change places with her I would she was so much more deserving of life than myself. Don't know why I wasn't taken instead and it's just really hard to wanna keep going but I have to for my son can't really think of myself anymore now that I got little man in my life. Physical therapy puts me in more pain then I have felt since the first few days in the hospital and the multiple surgeries. But some of my fiancees friends dropped by and first thing they said to me was that I should try and reconcile with her parents it honestly felt like her parents were talking and I asked if they had talked to her parents and how on earth they would know we were having issues and they wouldn't answer me.
Good job in applying for social security. I cannot imagine why you wouldn't be approved. That money will go a long way towards helping your son to have a strong financial start in life once he becomes an adult.
You don't know why this terrible thing happened. Perhaps she had fulfilled her purpose in life and you, on the other hand, have a lot left to do. The feelings and guilt you have is normal. I've heard this same thing before. But you had no choice in the matter and neither did she. We all have to live our lives to the best of our ability. You have a beautiful child to raise who needs you and that certainly gives purpose to your life as you have said. Be thankful that at least one of you is there to raise him up.
I'm so sorry you're having so much pain. I wish there was something that could be done to help you quicker. Keep pressing on. You are doing well.
That is too bad that the grandparents are rallying the troops when it is them who should be apologizing and asking for forgiveness and what they can do to earn your trust. Sending people to speak for them doesn't really help their case.
As far as hiring a nanny, ask your parents before doing that. They may want to care for him or for you to hire someone to help out at their home, so they can leave if necessary, like for grocery shopping or something. I watch my granddaughter twice a week. It would hurt my feelings if my daughter and sil decided to hire a nanny instead. A nanny isn't going to love her like I do. It is inconvenient to watch her, but on the other hand, I feel like they are dropping off a little dolly for me to play with. She is such a delight and a joy to my heart. We keep each other smiling. My mother helps me out, so if I need to go to the store or put in a load of laundry, she is there also. That makes it a lot easier for us to get things done around the house or run an errand. Anyway, I'm thankful that I am available to watch my granddaughter and do it gladly because I love her and my kids.