Re: Communication and Trust Problems
I am someone who believes in complete honesty and openness in marriage, and also the sharing of all finances and bank accounts. Also if you are marrying her, unless her sons have their own supportive dad, you effectively become their dad.
My husband took my children on as their own when we married. They were all young adults at that time. We talk about everything, and neither of us would spend a lot of money without discussing it with the other. Its completely understandable that she wants to support her sons through college, but her attitude of 'its not your business' is a red flag. When you marry everything is each other business.
I feel you are having some doubts, and because of that, I would advise that you don't plan a wedding at this time. Most of your time 'dating' has been spent apart, and you need to now get to know each other face to face. It may be best if you don't live together for a time until you are sure of where this is going. Some counseling together may also help, so that you can find out if they are any more secrets.
For example, do you want children? Does she?. Has she got debts now such as credit cards?
Does she have contact with the boys father? Do they? How do they feel about you moving in and maybe marrying their mum?
I would say that yes, a bankruptcy is a massive issue that can greatly damage chances of getting credit and loans in the future. So its something that will affect you as a married couple.