Vacation separately - sign we are in trouble? - Page 18 - Talk About Marriage
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post #256 of 258 (permalink) Old 04-19-2017, 07:06 AM
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Re: Vacation separately - sign we are in trouble?

Originally Posted by 225985 View Post

Ignore all the keyboard Rambos. You did want you could under the circumstances.

First, it is ridiculous to say that you "allowed" your wife to go to New Orleans. You could not stop her unless you want to land in jail. You can of course enact consequences up to and including divorce on her return.

Second, it a ludicrous to suggest you find sitters for the kids, spend $1000 for a same day plane ticket and fly 1000 miles to confront or catch your wife cheating. If you need to do that your marriage is already gone. So why bother? Your wife was staying at hotel with hundreds of rooms. The elevators are not near the front desk. The others think you can just ask to doorman to "remember" your wife and who she entered the hotel with. (Someone could have walked in 10 feet behind her or joined her later.) You are not even a paying guest or a frequent guest so you are unlikely to be told anything, not even what room your wife is staying in. This is for her protection. And even if the doorman does tell you something, can you believe him? What if he confusing your wife with someone else? Do you want to divorce over that? And sitting in the hotel for hours waiting for her would get you kicked out or arrested. Basically, if you confronted her in N.O. she would leave you, probably rightfully so.

If you have had enough and want to separate or divorce, do so now. If you want to work on your marriage, I suggest you find out why your wife wanted this trip so much. Is it possible she is burned out on the blended family? She basically has her kids nearly all the time, plus add to that she has your kids half the time. Does she resent that you are "kid free" half the time while she never gets a break? (Every other weekend might not be enough). Is she 'mom" all the time while you are "dad" only half the time?

Finally, do you trust her friend? Is she a friend of the marriage?

A lot of the guys here talk big. They want to get back at their exes by taking it out on your wife.

Let us know what happens on her return.

I don't see anyone here trying to get back at their exs by taking it out on Germanchip's wife. How you come up with that is clearly beyond me. Like how would that be done anyway ?

Without criticizing anyone on this board, including you, I will just stick to my assessment that his wife's actions are reprehensible and he needs to evaluate those actions compared to the person he thought he married and to figure out if the two line up. I already believe that they don't. He needs to assess his risk of loss if he pulls the plug or the risk of loss if he continues to stay in an abusive relationship.

What I see here are a bunch of people trying to get him to get out of a seriously challenging situation by taking a look at who this guy married. It's an opinion/advice board from those who have been there before

I do agree with a few points you made above, however

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post #257 of 258 (permalink) Old 04-19-2017, 04:10 PM
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Re: Vacation separately - sign we are in trouble?

Please let us know how things are working out.

"If more people were judgmental, then maybe there would be less infidelity"
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post #258 of 258 (permalink) Old 04-24-2017, 02:08 PM
Join Date: Jan 2017
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Re: Vacation separately - sign we are in trouble?

hope things work out well for you good luck.
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