Good point that I should've added. I wish she was coming on vacation with me. In fact the original plan was to go to her Dads with all of the kids however she told me she couldn't take the vacation time. That's when I decided to take my kids to see their grandma rather than sit at home. But then to come find out that she took time off to go to New Orleans. Trust me I'd rather go on vacation together. I think that is important for couples. And I enjoy any time we get together.
Did you decide on your own or discuss it with your wife? Could she be doing this as an f you, because she wasn't consulted? (So not the right way to behave if she is, just asking the question).
Yeah I can see it now. How she suddenly can take vacation and has money. I'm sure she wants to do it without kids but we have every other weekend to ourselves so we could've gone together at anytime.
She's going with a single girlfriend. So I'm trying to figure out what all that means? How normal is it for women to do vacations like that? She keeps saying she should be able to go on vacation and take trips with her friends. Which ok I can accept. But then you pick the one place we've talked about for a couple years now but don't have any money or vacation time to go with me?
Going with a single gf doesn't mean she's having an affair - people here will be very quick to jump to that conclusion.
Bottom line, you are her husband. What you want should trump what her friend wants. You should be her number 1.
Originally Posted by Space Mountain View Post
She is playing the old "you are controlling card". The best advice I have ever read hear is "You can't control anyone, but you can control what you will put up with".
^^^This. SO much this. Your wife needs to know that this is a boundary issue for you, and that there will be consequences if she does it. You need to decide what those consequences will be.
As a general comment, from my point of view, I love my husband. He is my number one, he comes before everyone else in my life. I honestly can't imagine myself going through with something knowing that it will hurt him, I just can't, I love him too much.