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post #16 of 31 (permalink) Old 04-10-2017, 04:38 AM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by sidney2718 View Post
EAH: Are you prepared for a divorce? If not, find an individual counselor who can help you understand that your wife is ill and that there is nothing that you can do to fix her.

If you are prepared for divorce folks here (and some are from the UK) who can give you good advice.

Meanwhile you have children to take care of.

Good luck fella!
I can not divorce her, I don't know life without her I've never been on my own in my life... I've given sucb a huge part of my life it's unreal

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post #17 of 31 (permalink) Old 04-10-2017, 05:01 AM
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Cool Re: My Cheating Wife Left Me With Four Kids

Originally Posted by MattMatt View Post
@Ex Abusive husband I am so sorry you are here, but glad that you found us.

Because of your spelling and the use of words like "mug" I am presuming you are in the UK.

You need to get an urgent appointment with a Solicitor tomorrow to ensure the safety of you and the children.

Mention her drug abuse to him or her.

He or she will be able to guide you to do what you need to do.

You need to get yourself and your children to see your doctor to sort out counselling for you all.

Please know that we are here for you.

It's not your fault.

Not your job to fix her.

Your job is to look after you and the kids.

Divorce looks like a good option.
And as they often say over in the U.K., "Hear, hear!"

It is not your fault, my friend, but it is your problem!

The better option here is immediate legal separation followed up by a most hasty divorce! As is, you and your children deserve far, far better out of life!

"To love another person is to see the face of God!" - Jean Valjean from Les Miserables

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post #18 of 31 (permalink) Old 04-10-2017, 05:09 AM
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Re: My Cheating Wife Left Me With Four Kids

Originally Posted by Ex Abusive husband View Post
I can not divorce her, I don't know life without her I've never been on my own in my life... I've given sucb a huge part of my life it's unreal
You can divorce her and you must!!!!

My first thought when I read the title of your thread was "lucky", and I meant it. Most times the wife wants it, kids, alimony, child support, half your retirement, and to move her new lover into the family home. Your's is doing you a huge favor, thank her and file for divorce TODAY!

How many times do you an ice pick in the eye before you admit she is a nut job? How will you feel when one of her scum ball sperm sticks tries to have a go at your daughter? Get that poison piece of **** out of your life. If you truly love her after all she has done you are as sick as her, I think you are just use to her being there and are afraid of changing.

My ex wasn't as bad as your's but once she was out of our (me and the kids) day to day lives everything was better, and I mean every single minute!
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post #19 of 31 (permalink) Old 04-10-2017, 05:23 AM
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Re: My Cheating Wife Left Me With Four Kids

@Ex Abusive husband if divorce is not an option you must consider this What if she kills you?

She will be jailed and your children will end up in care.

Your wife needs psychiatric help. She needs to be Sectioned and placed in a secure facility where she can receive the treatment that she needs. Your GP can help point you in the right direction to make sure this happens. (Be afraid UK cheaters! CheaterVille has come to the UK!
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post #20 of 31 (permalink) Old 04-10-2017, 06:30 AM
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Re: My Cheating Wife Left Me With Four Kids

Sounds like you are co-dependent on an abusive, cheating, alcoholic and drug dependent woman, this is not a good place to be. You need to get yourself sorted, you have no control over her at all. If she chooses to get her act together, get clean, get proper therapy etc then maybe there is a hope. However, your priority right now is not her, it is your kids and getting yourself into a stable place.
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post #21 of 31 (permalink) Old 04-10-2017, 06:35 AM
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Re: My Cheating Wife Left Me With Four Kids

Originally Posted by Ex Abusive husband View Post
I can not divorce her, I don't know life without her I've never been on my own in my life... I've given sucb a huge part of my life it's unreal
OMG your a walking doormat, please get some need to build up your self esteem.
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post #22 of 31 (permalink) Old 04-10-2017, 06:47 AM
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Many years ago when I was a much younger person I met a cute and fun girl that I dated for a few weeks. One of the few things I remember that she told me was the time she was having an episode of anger with a previous boyfriend in which she was stabbing a locked door with a knife... He was on the other side. She thought it was amusing... I filed it as " you're crazy".

If you love your kids and want what is best for them which is a stable household. You would divorce their mother today.
In the USA with her actions, I would fall against her for abandonment. And get a "protection order" too. You have police records. She doesn't want you or the kids. She wants to have sex with lots of men with no family to hold her back..

She is a kind of woman who had sex with men and came home to you and gave you sloppy seconds or thirds.

You need to get tested for STDs. You may also check your children's DNA to make sure they are yours biologically. This is also for health reasons.

You cannot fix your wife. Bring her back will hurt you and in turn will hurt the poor kids.

Get the court order to protect your family. Then pack her stuff and put it in storage.

A home with four kids is not empty.

You need lots of therapy for yourself and for your children. There are no good options taking her back especially since she does not want any of you.
There are much better women out there.
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post #23 of 31 (permalink) Old 04-10-2017, 08:12 AM
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Re: My Cheating Wife Left Me With Four Kids

Your W is broken, immeasurably broken. She needs to be evaluated "three years ago."

You can D her as others state.... she needs intensive treatment. Whatever happened to her in

her childhood had to be he!!ish. How long were you with her before she started "changing?"

You...... and the kids need IC pronto. She devolving has taken all of you with her.

Your #1 focus should be get right and help your kids get right.... then.... MAYBE then... see how

she is doing. Drugs are simply an excuse to act the way "you really desire to"

I have had weed, most people I know have.... all it made them do is get the munchies, get horny, watch

some guy wax his car, or sleep.

A-Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
B-We know what we are, but know not what we may be
C-Never make the person in your present pay for the sins committed by people from your past
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post #24 of 31 (permalink) Old 04-10-2017, 10:55 AM
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Re: My Cheating Wife Left Me With Four Kids

i am commenting so that i can find this later.

OP, if you really want things to improve between you and your wife, then there are things you can do. if you are willing to do them, you can likely improve things.

ill comment more when i have time.

"The ecologist is continually having to look at the aspects of nature with which he is unfamiliar and perforce must be an amateur for much of his working time.... professionals may carp at omissions, misconstructions, or even downright errors in these pages. perhaps ultimately they may forgive them for the sake of the overall vision that only the amateur, or the ecologist, blithely sets out to experience."G. Evelyn Hutchinson
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post #25 of 31 (permalink) Old 04-10-2017, 11:20 AM
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Re: My Cheating Wife Left Me With Four Kids

OP, you are actually not doing ANYONE any favors here -- she REALLY needs professional help.
You are supporting her bad behavior -- SOMETHING needs to be done to get her into counselling. You REALLY need to protect your children. Mental illness is not something that will go away, and unless you are a psychiatrist, you won't be able to help/fix the issue. It is potentially VERY dangerous for you and your children.

Please consider separating at the least from her -- get her out of your home environment.

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post #26 of 31 (permalink) Old 04-10-2017, 07:39 PM
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Re: My Cheating Wife Left Me With Four Kids

Originally Posted by Ex Abusive husband View Post
I can not divorce her, I don't know life without her I've never been on my own in my life...
Bullsh*t. You CAN divorce her, you CAN live life without her, and what does never having been on your own have to do with anything?

SHE IS SICK. She needs severe mental help before she can be any sort of decent spouse or mother. Keep her away from those kids until she gets help. You're their father - DO YOUR JOB and protect them from her.

And find a therapist and start going yourself. You're one of the most codependent people I've ever seen, and you will ruin your children's lives if you don't get help.

You don't have to divorce her, but neither do you have to let her be with you guys (even if she wanted to). Act as though she's gone, help your kids adjust, and get everyone into therapy. Once you and your kids get healthy, she can either do the same or lose y'all.

There's your advice.

Last edited by turnera; 04-10-2017 at 07:59 PM.
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post #27 of 31 (permalink) Old 04-10-2017, 08:17 PM
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Re: My Cheating Wife Left Me With Four Kids

Count your blessings, she left the kids with you.

File & move on. A year from now you will wonder wth you were thinking staying with someone that attempts to stab you.

First you, and if she thinks it will hurt you more, she will leave the kids stabbed to death tucked into their beds for you to find when you get home from work.

Think it won't happen, GOOGLE IT!

Yaa, it's harsh, but you got KIDS to watch out for!!!
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post #28 of 31 (permalink) Old 04-11-2017, 05:39 AM
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Re: My Cheating Wife Left Me With Four Kids

Your first priority has to be your kids. Your gut has been warning you about her for a long time but you suppressed it. White Knighting for her has just brought you nothing but a police record and now a broken family.

Some people need to completely crash and burn before they seek help. You've played captain save a hoe for so long that you've enabled her. Until she hits rock bottom, she won't seek the help she needs.

You don't clarify what your daughter found on her mom's phone but it must have been really bad. Your wife is choosing her dark life over you and the kids.
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post #29 of 31 (permalink) Old 04-11-2017, 04:31 PM
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Re: My Cheating Wife Left Me With Four Kids

She did you a favor by taking off. Take advantage of this and divorce her.

Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.
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post #30 of 31 (permalink) Old 04-11-2017, 06:07 PM
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Re: My Cheating Wife Left Me With Four Kids

Are you willing to take her back if it puts your kids at risk?

Sorry man but she is very violent it sounds like. Kids safety first and for most.
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