As we got in the car, I told him jokingly to hurry. I noticed that he looked upset and I immediately told him I was just joking. As we got to the intersection to turn onto the main street in town, he hit the gas, ran through a stop sign, almost got hit by a car and proceeded to slam his foot down on the gas pedal. He got up to almost 65 in a 30 mph zone before I yelled at him to slow down. After we left the school, he apologized and just said that he was mad at me for yelling at him.
Please do not minimize this or make excuses for him. He was "mad"???? He could have killed innocent people and injured you with his out-of-control driving. That in itself would have been enough to freak me out and make me rethink the relationship.
I was lying in bed with him and I asked him to massage my shoulder and upper back. I was trying to explain where it hurt, and all of a sudden, I felt him push down on my shoulder with all of his weight not once, but twice. Pain immediately shot through my shoulder. I started crying. The pain was so bad I stayed in bed all night. Eventually, it got so bad I ended up in the emergency room later that night. After we left the hospital, I asked him why he had done that. He said that he wasn't trying to hurt me and he thought I wanted more pressure.
Yeah, right. He puts his entire weight on your shoulder and dismisses what he did because the "thought" you wanted more pressure. I call total b.s. on that pathetic excuse.
Prior to this episode, I'd been doing some research on mother-son enmeshment. I feel like he has a lot of the symptoms of this.
Why are you trying to figure out HIS problems/issues? They are his, not yours. Your issue is your are married to a MASSIVE passive-aggressive mommy's boy who is abusing you. I think you need to look at yourself and ask why you are putting up with this nonsense. YOU, not him.
I told him that I can't join him in the new city until he gets some counseling. He told me that I'm being unreasonable. He's upset that I've pressed so hard on him to move out, and that it's not fair to back out now that he has no choice but to move.
No, you are not being one bit unreasonable. You are married to a man-child. So he had to move out of mommy's home, now he starts treating you like garbage, and he thinks counseling is "unreasonable." To hell with him. You have every right to be scared. I certainly would be if I was in your shoes.
I applaud you for setting a boundary. Now you have to decide if you will/can stick to that boundary. If not, he'll realize what you say has no consequences and go right on behaving this way. As it is, I'd be done with someone like this in a New York minute. Your life. Your choice. Seriously.