Yes of course you are right. But is it the "job" of the spouse to be your partner's shrink? Most of us are not qualified (it's not because we don't want to do it, we just might do it the wrong way. People train for this kind of thing for years and take exams!).
In my wife's case, 95% of our arguments are hormone-related. 3 weeks each month, we have an otherwise almost perfect marriage!
As to being the shrink for your spouse. Well yes it is your job to at least help her. If you can't then read and study or get her real professional help.
Seriously, couples support each other and while you may not have the credentials, you did sign up for the support part when you married your spouse.
Not for the statement that really triggered my desire to comment.
In my wife's case, 95% of our arguments are hormone-related.
That is so incredibly disrespectful! Our spouses usually know our thoughts due to body language, facial expressions, tone of voice etc. If she was upset with you and you gave off any vibes as to oh not not this hormonal crap again, she has a right to be very very angry with you.
If you are not mature enough to be married to a woman and chosen a woman you trusted and respected, then you have no right to be married.
She loves spanking and when I am violent-ish in bed. That's what made me realise that she's teasing out this side of me on purpose sometimes. However I also don't want to sound like a typical abuser who thinks that their wife is asking for it! :-0
She is otherwise like an angel though. Very strange mixture. Sorry for TJ. It's not about my relationship on this thread. Thought i offer a comment that it's not an uncommon feeling. But there is a clear line (in bed, the lines seem to be more blurry..).
As stated earlier consensual BDSM is different from violence, except possibly in the eyes of a police officer. For consensual BDSM you need safe words, carefully scripted and agreed upon play session, aftercare, and above all mutual trust. If you feel like you came close to hitting her in a non BDSM setting, you may not necessarily have the control you need to top her. If I were her, I would not want to be topped by someone who felt they ever came close to loosing it.
Let me do a digression for a moment. I have a coworker whose wife once got angry at him and hit him, broke his glasses and kept hitting him. In his mind, to protect himself and stop the fight he hit his wife hard. She called the police, the police arrived and in this State, they are required in a domestic violence situation to haul one partner to jail (zero tolerance, zero judgement). They asked the wife if she hit the husband. She said no. The husband stupidly said yes she did, you see these broken glasses, she kept hitting me until I made her stop by hitting her. That was all the police needed to take him to jail and book him to hold overnight. He admitted to hitting her, she did not admit to hitting him. He was taken to jail in his underwear. He had to call friends and coworkers to bail him out of jail in the morning and bring him clothes to wear to work.
He ultimately got a really good attorney and at trial was not convicted of domestic violence, but the arrest is still on his record. Ultimately, he divorced his wife, but that is another story.
I also know a guy whose wife use to literally beat him with either a rolling pin or cast iron frying pan. Seriously, old school cartoonish. One day he snapped, took the frying pan out of her hand and hit her on the head with it. She died. I met him after he was paroled and we worked together. He was a fairly gentle guy who just lost it one day and lost decades of his life because of it.
The point of the digressions are that violence no matter what you might think and even if you think it might be in self defense, is not as good as walking away and out the door.
You are lucky because you were able to control yourself. However, you have the ability to let people get to you or not. If you allow others to emotionally trigger rage in you, then you have given them control over you. You need to learn though coping skills how not to get angry, how not to feel enraged. That is your responsibility as a man.
Many men in such a situation will simple say, I am too emotional at this moment to continue and I need to take a break, go outside for a walk. I will be back, when I am emotionally under control.
Other men, will just stop what they are doing sit down and go into an emotional catatonic state, where they don't talk, don't look at their partner, and just focus on soothing thoughts.
Still others, will smile, not get angry, look at their partner and ask their spouse, why did you say that or do that honey? I don't think what I did warranted that kind of response from you. They will be calm and not angry and ask their spouse to logically explain why they did something that triggered an action that use to make you angry and rageful.
An example of a coping mechanism that you could take a class on or study more is Non-violent communication theory. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nonviolent_Communication