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websites or books that anyone has personally had success with?

1K views 14 replies 13 participants last post by  SimplyAmorous 
#1 ·
Good Morning,

I have been reading posts and threads looking for insight and as I am new to this sight (and first time on ANY online forum) I have noticed allot of mention of something referred to by other members as the "180". Can someone tell me what this is?

Also, if there are any other self help / marriage- relationship help websites or books that anyone has personally had success with, I would love it if you share them.

Thanks!
 
#2 ·
the 180 is from the Divorce Busters book. See if I can explain this correctly. It's basically doing things in a different way than normal.

Example:
When in a troubled marriage one spouse will typically follow the other around.
Instead go do your own thing and let him/her have her space.

Divorce Busting® - How to Save Your Marriage, Solve Marriage Problems, and Stop Divorce

that's the website and should give you more information about this if you go into the forums section.
 
#4 ·
I've personally had great success with "The Five Love Languages". We actually got this book from my h's grandparents as our wedding gift! We both love the book because it explains exactly what a person needs to feel loved. Like my husband is a "Quality Time" kind of guy, so I really have to make sure that I take care to set aside time each day to just focus on him. I'm a "Words of Affirmation" kind of gal, so my husband makes the effort to speak loving words to me.
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#6 ·
The five love languages is good. Me and my husband recently read : Good Husband Great Marriage. He was initially extremely opposed to it ...as it lays most blame on the husband...its a book written by a man for men but also to women. Its does not sugarcoat...its straightforward...and its an easy read...if the man can get past the " this is bs...Im not the only one that needs to change" preformed notion. The main point is if men can treat women how they deserve to be treated...women almost automatically do the same in return. When my husband finally read it...it was like a light turned on for him. He finally understood many things. It seems to have helped alot. * Fingers crossed* . It may not be a book for everyone...but it striked a chord with both me and my husband. If it helped us...it may help others. Worse case you read a book and at least see another perspective...best case it helps to improve the relationship
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#10 ·
When we were in the thick of it, we did the 5 Love Languages quiz. This actually sparked a very emotional (aka ego-driven) conversation between us. Mostly from my side. After a few months had passed and a differing perspective began to develop, I could truly see how helpful it was to have done that; and from a non-defensive place I saw where I was lacking with regards to his needs and agreed with him.

We didn't purchase any relationship books. Although there are a few I'd like to read that I've seen mentioned here. The books I read were more about ways of thinking. These really helped me. Of course it's not the book or therapy or discussions or whatever it is you try ....it comes down to if you are willing and able to make changes together, as to whether it will be a "success" or not. And being successful might not even mean remaining in the relationship.

I'm not Buddhist, I'm not religious but I enjoyed these books.

- That Which You Are Seeking Is Causing You To Seek: Cheri Huber
- Being Peace: Thich Nhat Hanh
- The Art of Happiness: Matthieu Ricard
- Think on These Things: Krishnamurti
 
#12 ·
If you would like to take the five love languages quiz, you can go here The Five Love Languages | Improve My Marriage . It is free to take the test.

I would also suggest any book by John Gottman:
The Seven Principles for Making a Marriage Work
How Marriages Succeed and Fail

If you would like a book with some helpful questionnairres and evaluations, try looking at
The Great Marriage Tune-Up Book by Jeffry Larson
or Should We Stay Together also by Jeffry Larson.
 
#13 ·
Was going to start a thread with the same question.......I am going to check all these books out. Thanks everyone!!:D

I have read a book for my self. It is Christain so may not be for others. It is Battlefield of the Mind by Joyce Meyers. It has helpped me stop saying and doing some emotionally charged things because the thoughts are no longer being allowed to run free in my head and causing crap to fall out of my mouth. Thinking stable compaired to just a week ago. Refreshing!
 
#15 ·
Always Amazon.com (can read endless reviews on such books- very very helpful) or Half.com (same password as Ebay), can get them used and save a bundle, I buy all my books used, I am a book aholic.

This is a great marraige book - though I never read it :

Amazon.com: Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs (9781591451877): Emerson Eggerichs: Books

If you need to SPICE up the romance within the marriage :

Amazon.com: Kosher Adultery: Seduce and Sin with Your Spouse (9781580627924): Shmuley Boteach: Books

Daily ideas to show love to your spouse to win back their hearts :

Amazon.com: The Love Dare (9780805448856): Stephen Kendrick, Alex Kendrick: Books

I think this is the book about 'the 180" ...

Amazon.com: Divorce Busting: A Step-by-Step Approach to Making Your Marriage Loving Again (9780671797256): Michele Weiner-Davis: Books
 
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