I have been reading posts and threads looking for insight and as I am new to this sight (and first time on ANY online forum) I have noticed allot of mention of something referred to by other members as the "180". Can someone tell me what this is?
Also, if there are any other self help / marriage- relationship help websites or books that anyone has personally had success with, I would love it if you share them.
oh and I did try the book. while it did not save my marriage it was great for my own personal growth and coping with the divorce. Which is at essence what the book is about.
I've personally had great success with "The Five Love Languages". We actually got this book from my h's grandparents as our wedding gift! We both love the book because it explains exactly what a person needs to feel loved. Like my husband is a "Quality Time" kind of guy, so I really have to make sure that I take care to set aside time each day to just focus on him. I'm a "Words of Affirmation" kind of gal, so my husband makes the effort to speak loving words to me. Posted via Mobile Device
The five love languages is good. Me and my husband recently read : Good Husband Great Marriage. He was initially extremely opposed to it ...as it lays most blame on the husband...its a book written by a man for men but also to women. Its does not sugarcoat...its straightforward...and its an easy read...if the man can get past the " this is bs...Im not the only one that needs to change" preformed notion. The main point is if men can treat women how they deserve to be treated...women almost automatically do the same in return. When my husband finally read it...it was like a light turned on for him. He finally understood many things. It seems to have helped alot. * Fingers crossed* . It may not be a book for everyone...but it striked a chord with both me and my husband. If it helped us...it may help others. Worse case you read a book and at least see another perspective...best case it helps to improve the relationship Posted via Mobile Device
When we were in the thick of it, we did the 5 Love Languages quiz. This actually sparked a very emotional (aka ego-driven) conversation between us. Mostly from my side. After a few months had passed and a differing perspective began to develop, I could truly see how helpful it was to have done that; and from a non-defensive place I saw where I was lacking with regards to his needs and agreed with him.
We didn't purchase any relationship books. Although there are a few I'd like to read that I've seen mentioned here. The books I read were more about ways of thinking. These really helped me. Of course it's not the book or therapy or discussions or whatever it is you try ....it comes down to if you are willing and able to make changes together, as to whether it will be a "success" or not. And being successful might not even mean remaining in the relationship.
I'm not Buddhist, I'm not religious but I enjoyed these books.
- That Which You Are Seeking Is Causing You To Seek: Cheri Huber
- Being Peace: Thich Nhat Hanh
- The Art of Happiness: Matthieu Ricard
- Think on These Things: Krishnamurti
I would also suggest any book by John Gottman: The Seven Principles for Making a Marriage Work How Marriages Succeed and Fail
If you would like a book with some helpful questionnairres and evaluations, try looking at The Great Marriage Tune-Up Book by Jeffry Larson
or Should We Stay Together also by Jeffry Larson.
Was going to start a thread with the same question.......I am going to check all these books out. Thanks everyone!!
I have read a book for my self. It is Christain so may not be for others. It is Battlefield of the Mind by Joyce Meyers. It has helpped me stop saying and doing some emotionally charged things because the thoughts are no longer being allowed to run free in my head and causing crap to fall out of my mouth. Thinking stable compaired to just a week ago. Refreshing!
Always Amazon.com (can read endless reviews on such books- very very helpful) or Half.com (same password as Ebay), can get them used and save a bundle, I buy all my books used, I am a book aholic.
This is a great marraige book - though I never read it :
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