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post #1 of 19 (permalink) Old 04-12-2017, 11:43 PM Thread Starter
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Ugh

I'm married to a person who is never happy for to long.
Everything is the end of the world.
Sometimes I think he would better off without me & that iam the problem😢

Sometime he says I have a lot to do with the way he feels.

He refuses to get Help, says he doesn't need it

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post #2 of 19 (permalink) Old 04-12-2017, 11:50 PM
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Re: Ugh

That sounds awful.

How long have you two been together and how long married?

Do you have any children?

Could you give us examples of one or two instances of what is going on?

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post #3 of 19 (permalink) Old 04-12-2017, 11:58 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Ugh

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Originally Posted by EleGirl View Post
That sounds awful.

How long have you two been together and how long married?

Do you have any children?

Could you give us examples of one or two instances of what is going on?
Married- 3 yrs together 6
No children together. I have 4 & he has 3

For example if I don't put something back in the right place. He just blows up
Or if I book him a hotel. & swthing happens on the hotel end..im to blame, I'm the stupid dumb ***** who can't get anything right.

One time we were in Manhattan. Both our 2nd time going to the bus station together & he is like.. do you remember where it is?
. So I'm like I think this way.. we are going the right way..but the whole way there he is calling me names & saying he is gonna be upset if I get is lost..


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post #4 of 19 (permalink) Old 04-13-2017, 12:03 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Ugh

He cries, sometimes I can tell he is sad..maybe I should let him be happy else where. Maybe he feels he owes me this. Anyway its weighing heavy on me. Because I love him & want him to be happy

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post #5 of 19 (permalink) Old 04-13-2017, 12:04 AM
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Re: Ugh

I know someone like your husband, @DEMI6, and let me start by saying it isn't your fault. It is some failing of your husband that is making him miserable and mad at life. You are just the nearest thing that he can lash out on. Of course, I am assuming that you are telling us everything. If there are any important details that might have triggered this peevishness (like infidelity on your part in the past) please tell us. The more details you give the better the advice.

Even if I don't get likes for it, I'm still going to say it.
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post #6 of 19 (permalink) Old 04-13-2017, 12:07 AM
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Re: Ugh

So was he always like this? What brought on the change?
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post #7 of 19 (permalink) Old 04-13-2017, 12:19 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Ugh

Im learning that he has always been this way.. & now looking back at things I would be lying if I said he wasn't always like this.

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post #8 of 19 (permalink) Old 04-13-2017, 12:21 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Ugh

I never cheated on him NEVER!!!
I Cheated on my childrens father with him..& married him, for that I feel like he doesn't trust me.

But how can I fix that? I can't help that's how we got together

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post #9 of 19 (permalink) Old 04-13-2017, 12:21 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Ugh

F.y.i my children father was a cheating abusive jerk

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post #10 of 19 (permalink) Old 04-13-2017, 12:27 AM
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Re: Ugh

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Originally Posted by DEMI6 View Post
I never cheated on him NEVER!!!
I Cheated on my childrens father with him..& married him, for that I feel like he doesn't trust me.

But how can I fix that? I can't help that's how we got together

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Well, you didn't have the best framework to build a healthy relationship. He also doesn't have the best character since he knew you were married and started a relationship with you. You are probably right he doesn't trust you, I am not sure what goes through the minds of people who can have affairs but for the most part they are not the stablest of individuals. Usually they have emotional issues. Sounds like this holds true for your man.


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post #11 of 19 (permalink) Old 04-13-2017, 12:32 AM
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Re: Ugh

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F.y.i my children father was a cheating abusive jerk

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Well it seems you pick abusive men, as this guy seems to fit the pattern. Again this goes back to my point about people who cheat having emotional issues they need to work out before they can be in a successful relationship. I think you really need to concentrate on you. You obviously end up with guys who don't treat you with respect. Why do you think that is? Did you have a father growing up? What was your childhood like? Any abuse during those years? You need to get to the bottom of that first. If you do I don't think you will have a hard time leaving a man who treats you like dirt. Or maybe he will see you change and change too.

By the way no matter how bad your husband was you would have been better served to just move on first. Make sure you do that this time if you are thinking of leaving. Relationships are like books you need a beginning, middle and end.
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post #12 of 19 (permalink) Old 04-13-2017, 12:32 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Ugh

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Originally Posted by sokillme View Post
Well, you didn't have the best framework to build a healthy relationship. He also doesn't have the best character since he knew you were married. You are probably right he doesn't trust you, I am not sure what goes through the minds of people who can have affairs but for the most part they are not the stablest of individuals. Usually they have emotional issues. Sounds like this holds true for your man.
I wasn't married to my children's father.

I'm married now..

We confined in each other because we were both in screwed up relationships & we winded up getting married

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post #13 of 19 (permalink) Old 04-13-2017, 12:39 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Ugh

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Originally Posted by sokillme View Post
Well it seems you pick abusive men, as this guy seems to fit the pattern. Again this goes back to my point about people who cheat having emotional issues they need to work out before they can be in a successful relationship. I think you really need to concentrate on you. You obviously end up with guys who don't treat you with respect. Why do you think that is? Did you have a father growing up? What was your childhood like? Any abuse during those years? You need to get to the bottom of that first. If you do I don't think you will have a hard time leaving a man who treats you like dirt. Or maybe he will see you change and change too.

By the way no matter how bad your husband was you would have been better served to just move on first. Make sure you do that this time if you are thinking of leaving. Relationships are like books you need a beginning, middle and end.
Thank you I appreciate it..

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post #14 of 19 (permalink) Old 04-13-2017, 12:40 AM
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Re: Ugh

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Originally Posted by DEMI6 View Post
I wasn't married to my children's father.

I'm married now..

We confined in each other because we were both in screwed up relationships & we winded up getting married

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You were not married but you didn't end it first so there is that. You were at least lying to the kid's father.

You have 7 kids between you huh? No wonder he is unhappy. I kid.

My advice still holds true, get some IC for yourself. Then decided what you need to do.
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post #15 of 19 (permalink) Old 04-13-2017, 12:42 AM
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Re: Ugh

Since you didn't answer my question I will ask it again

You obviously end up with guys who don't treat you with respect. Why do you think that is? Did you have a father growing up? What was your childhood like? Any abuse during those years?
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