My Wife is Bisexual and has never had that experience. - Page 3 - Talk About Marriage
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post #31 of 44 (permalink) Old 04-13-2017, 04:15 PM
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Re: My Wife is Bisexual and has never had that experience.

I don't like the fact that she brought up this bisexual thing after being married to you for two years. She either wasn't being honest with you throughout your entire marriage or just figured that she would like to have a new kinky experience. Either way she's trying to make you into the villain who is curbing her sexually. I think this is all BS. You just don't get bisexual overnight. You should put your foot down and say that she married you and that your marriage is a straight marriage and she will not be allowed to cheat.


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post #32 of 44 (permalink) Old 04-13-2017, 04:17 PM
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Re: My Wife is Bisexual and has never had that experience.

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I don't like the fact that she brought up this bisexual thing after being married to you for two years. She either wasn't being honest with you throughout your entire marriage or just figured that she would like to have a new kinky experience. Either way she's trying to make you into the villain who is curbing her sexually. I think this is all BS. You just don't get bisexual overnight. You should put your foot down and say that she married you and that your marriage is a straight marriage and she will not be allowed to cheat.
Like he could ever really control that.

One of the deepest feminine pleasures is when a man stands full, present, and unreactive in the midst of his woman's emotional storms. When he stays present with her, and loves her through the layers of wildness and closure, then she feels his trustability, and she can relax. -- David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man
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post #33 of 44 (permalink) Old 04-13-2017, 04:40 PM
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Re: My Wife is Bisexual and has never had that experience.

I think it's good that you two are communicating openly about this and trying to figure out what works for you. I know people in many different relationship styles and each relationship type has its own set of unique issues. The real question for you is what are potential future relationship problems that fulfilling this fantasy for your wife may cause, and are you both OK with taking that risk?
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post #34 of 44 (permalink) Old 04-13-2017, 05:13 PM
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Re: My Wife is Bisexual and has never had that experience.

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Different people have different opinions.

If it were me, my feelings would be the following:

If my wife really preferred women to men, then I'd rather she found that out and left, than lived unhappily. So I would be OK with her experimenting. I have not sense of jealousy toward women, so I'm convinced it wouldn't bother me. Ground rules:

She tells me, preferably before but at least after.

Its for sex, not a relationship. If they start socializing, I want to be invited. (I'd like to be invited for a 3some too ;-), but that isn't necessary). She makes it clear to the other woman that its sex only.

It never gets in the way our our sex life -she can have all the sex she wants with another woman, but not do so and then turn me down.

If she starts developing feelings, she tells me so we can talk about it..
Likely if she starts developing feelings... then she'll also keep them to herself and will handle it (as to not hurt hubby feelings) - which means it becomes an affair which those feelings get stronger and the standard results happen.

I know of two OR relationships that went to crap.
1 - She was ordered to have sex with others (men or women). He was always an jerk and other mean censored words that I told her more than once to leave him. Well, one of these guys gave her flowers, and she left the abusive BF and ended up marrying that nice guy. They are monogamous.

2 - Woman brings another woman for threesomes to her BF. I think within 4 weeks he dumps the first woman and becomes engaged to the new one.

I know people who seem to be doing well on the OR thing. One of them has toned it down.

So yeah, OP - that is why I when I said "controlled" I put quotation marks. You can't really control other people's feelings... It does work for some, but you don't know. She doesn't know.

Supporting those who want to divorce or reconcile. Not every relationship is the same.
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post #35 of 44 (permalink) Old 04-13-2017, 05:50 PM
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Re: My Wife is Bisexual and has never had that experience.

I would feel like I was living a lie the whole marriage.

maybe even consider divorce over it. Just me I want a heterosexual woman not a switch hitter.

next!
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post #36 of 44 (permalink) Old 04-13-2017, 06:22 PM
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Re: My Wife is Bisexual and has never had that experience.

Thumbs UP on going to strip clubs with wife.

Supporting those who want to divorce or reconcile. Not every relationship is the same.
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post #37 of 44 (permalink) Old 04-13-2017, 06:46 PM
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Re: My Wife is Bisexual and has never had that experience.

They say you cannot only eat one Lays.

Way too many Chippy's out of the closet, out of the bag.

.................................................. .................................................. .............................

Children:

Children do not like sweets and candy until they are offered some. Then, that is all they want.

.................................................. .................................................. .............................

Women often want to have a relationship with another women for less obvious reasons.

It seems less base, less sinful. Birds of a feather, flock together.

It is the sign of the times. Sex with men is scary.

Copy cat behavior, copy *****cat behavior.

Anything goes behavior.
.................................................. .................................................. ............................
Sex with another women is more handily going to end in an orgasm.

Tools of the trade are expected, especially Licentious Contract-her heavy duty clean-out snakes.
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You cannot get hooked on drugs if you never try them.
She cannot get hooked on feminine hugs if she never tries them.

This....This is the nub of the stick that pokes me in the eye when the light of day energizes my optic nerve....SunCMars.... The Allegory of the Cave--> On this, I did a '180' and stepped out.

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post #38 of 44 (permalink) Old 04-13-2017, 07:35 PM
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Re: My Wife is Bisexual and has never had that experience.

OP, I think the difference between bicurious, bisexual and lesbian is an important distinction.

If she is lesbian, she will never remain happy being monogamous with a man. If bisexual, meaning could have a one on one relationship with a man or woman, then maybe if she can get over the thoughts of missing out. And if she's just bicurious there are numerous ways to explore without hurting your marriage.

I don't consider myself bisexual since I have never been with a woman (not counting college kisses for fun), and I can't visualize myself in a relationship with one. Yes, I get turned on by women... I think their bodies are beautiful and sexy. But, the idea of being with a woman sexually is more exciting to me in the setting of a FMF 3some. For me, having the man there makes the fantasy 10 million times hotter. I would only feel I was missing out without the man.

OP, it would concern me that she wants to do this exploration without you.


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post #39 of 44 (permalink) Old 04-14-2017, 01:40 PM Thread Starter
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Re: My Wife is Bisexual and has never had that experience.

This is his wife. Just so you know, THIS IS ALL HIS IDEA. I don't even think I want to, yes I am bisexual, doesnt mean i would ever cheat on him with another woman. It's in his head.....
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post #40 of 44 (permalink) Old 04-14-2017, 01:55 PM Thread Starter
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Re: My Wife is Bisexual and has never had that experience.

This is his wife.. Just to clear things up, i never asked to do this. He is just worried I might go out and do it for the experience over time. Im not going to. I don't want to. Yes, I am bisexual, I wish i could have had atleast one experience in my past, but i didn't and I am okay with that. I am married to the love my life and all of my sexual needs are met. Im happy. Just wanted to let you guys know this was all his idea. I love my husband and I had no thought of even doing this.

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post #41 of 44 (permalink) Old 04-14-2017, 01:59 PM
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Re: My Wife is Bisexual and has never had that experience.

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post #42 of 44 (permalink) Old 04-14-2017, 02:32 PM
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Re: My Wife is Bisexual and has never had that experience.

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Originally Posted by TheUndecidedHusband View Post
This is his wife.. Just to clear things up, i never asked to do this. He is just worried I might go out and do it for the experience over time. Im not going to. I don't want to. Yes, I am bisexual, I wish i could have had atleast one experience in my past, but i didn't and I am okay with that. I am married to the love my life and all of my sexual needs are met. Im happy. Just wanted to let you guys know this was all his idea. I love my husband and I had no thought of even doing this.
Thank you for posting and clearing things up. If you do not mind, please hit on the backside of his head for me.
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post #43 of 44 (permalink) Old 04-14-2017, 03:13 PM
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Re: My Wife is Bisexual and has never had that experience.

This is in my wheelhouse. I am married to a bisexual women for 44 years and my two previous relationships, one an ex fiancee was with to bi girls. I only know bi girls as lovers. I did not know any of them were bi until we started the relationship.

My wife tried to repress her bisexuality. She did not want to cheat. We did a wife swap but she hated sex with the other guy. He was too rough and did not make love like we do. Then she started asking her visiting friends to join us in bed. They all thought I was hot since high school, so they joined us for a threesome. They were just bi curious so it was a one time thing. What my wife did next was brilliant.

Her best friend since childhood who is the sister of my childhood friend, was visiting us after a nasty divorce. She was complaining that she had not had sex in 8 months and the single guys she met were all single for a reason. Out of the blue my wifes asks her friend if she would like me to have sex with her. Her friend asked her if she was kidding, but my wife was not. We had a crush on each other since we were 13 and so we went upstairs to the bedroom. She extremely lubricated when we got into bed and when she had her orgasm she screamed out loud.

My wife then entered the bedroom and asked who died. We started talking and I figured the polite thing to do was invite her to join us. She did and they focused on me until I told them that they have been such good friends that they should show each other sexually their love of one another. They did and we found out that her girlfriend had been with women throughout college and my wife had been fantasizing about sex with women for a few months. We all enjoyed the threesome so much that we kept it going until we asked our girlfriend to move in with us. She lived with us full time for about 7 years. It was great. The girls only had sex if I took part. My wife said that if I was not there, it felt like cheating.

Our girlfriend got married for financial security since she had no spousal rights in our poly triad. She actually found a guy online who was OK with her continuing her relationship with us. They married and her lover, my wife, was her maid of honor. After that she still maintained her own room in our home while splitting her time between us and her husband. That lasted 30 years.

We made it work. My wife made sure that her sex with women was only in a threesome with me. Being bi is not black and white. My wife only wants women for sex, not romance, dating or marriage. She had sex with women a few thousand times over our 44 year marriage but never went on a date or had a romance with a woman. In fact, at home she would not even hug or kiss our girlfriend on the cheek outside of the bedroom. Her girlfriend was my lover and my wife's friend with benefits. There was love but not the romantic kind between them as there was between our girlfriend and me. Her is a good definition of bisexuality and you can see how complex it is and how it can vary over time:

DEFINITION OF BISEXUALITY: “I call myself bisexual because I acknowledge that I have in myself the potential to be attracted – romantically and/or sexually – to people of more than one sex and/or gender, not necessarily at the same time, not necessarily in the same way, and not necessarily to the same degree.” by Robyn Ochs.

Your wife is not going to be able to fight her urge for sex with a woman for long. Do what we did; have a threesome so no cheating involved, it is hot to watch two girls together and also hot to have them sexually please you. It is a win-win-win situation. Our sexlife was great. Our personal life is great and we never even had an argument with our girlfriend. She knew her place in our poly triad and respected my marriage as the primary relationship.

A threesome is the perfect way to let your wife explore that side of her in safe way without undue risk to your marriage. Good luck and read my signature block below. We lived by what it says and had a great marriage and life as a result.

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post #44 of 44 (permalink) Old 04-14-2017, 03:59 PM
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Re: My Wife is Bisexual and has never had that experience.

Very good to hear your side.

Do you not want to, or is it that you want to but recognize the very real risks to your relationship?





Quote:
Originally Posted by TheUndecidedHusband View Post
This is his wife.. Just to clear things up, i never asked to do this. He is just worried I might go out and do it for the experience over time. Im not going to. I don't want to. Yes, I am bisexual, I wish i could have had atleast one experience in my past, but i didn't and I am okay with that. I am married to the love my life and all of my sexual needs are met. Im happy. Just wanted to let you guys know this was all his idea. I love my husband and I had no thought of even doing this.
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