Confused about husbands F buddy 😬 - Page 6 - Talk About Marriage
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post #76 of 82 (permalink) Old 04-14-2017, 07:51 AM
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Re: Confused about husbands F buddy 😬

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Originally Posted by She'sStillGotIt View Post
The longer this whole thing goes on, the more emotionally invested in her he'll become.
And the day will come when the balance tilts to 51% of his priority becomes her...


नमस्ते 🙏
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post #77 of 82 (permalink) Old 04-14-2017, 08:37 AM
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Re: Confused about husbands F buddy 😬

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Originally Posted by *Deidre* View Post
I think what would make casual sex or ONS difficult, is that how could someone I don't love or don't know all that well, or trust at all, know how to please me, sexually? My fiance is amazing in bed largely because he knows me, knows what I like, what I don't like, I trust him...to sleep with someone you really don't know, how would they know what to do to please you? I've always wondered how that works. Maybe at times, people get lucky and a one night stand turns out to be the most mind blowing sex ever? Hmmm.
Deidre, when you were busy and not paying attention, I went up to your wall and studied it. Being a builder "of sorts", I saw a few flaws. I know you will deny them.

Your wall has cracks in it.
Your wall has doubt blemishes, here and "there".
Your wall has another side to it. The unknown other side. The fantasy side. The greener grassy knoll side. Want to know-all side.
Your wall has at least one "what if" in it.

Patch your wall. Keep the mortar "tucked"...and when doing this do not scoop any "F's" out of the hod and add it to the mortar.

PS:
Love making is not rocket science. An experienced man can read the moonscape and anothers "eyes" and change course...on the fly.

This....This is the nub of the stick that pokes me in the eye when the light of day energizes my optic nerve....SunCMars.... The Allegory of the Cave--> On this, I did a '180' and stepped out.

The Lion in Winter. Invictus..By Will, Shall... Saved from harm by my friends.
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post #78 of 82 (permalink) Old 04-14-2017, 10:57 AM Thread Starter
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I guess there are a few things I can do.
1. Say we all hang out together.
2. Say if you can have an FB then so can I. I wouldn't but that doesn't need to be said.
3. Call it all off.
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post #79 of 82 (permalink) Old 04-14-2017, 11:06 AM
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Re: Confused about husbands F buddy 😬

It could be that he just enjoys being with her. The things she says about you, well some women and men are great at manipulation. That's often how "players" work.

Good luck to you both. I hope he chooses whichever partner makes him happiest.

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"You are talking about the nonsensical ravings of a lunatic mind!" Victor Von Frankenstein
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post #80 of 82 (permalink) Old 04-14-2017, 11:48 AM
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Oh gosh...it can be so hard to see what's really happening when you're IN the situation yourself.
It was a smart thought to come here to inquire. We are not involved so we have the ability to assess differently, more objectively.
These are not things you hope to hear, but you need to hear it.
The threat you're feeling is legit- absolutely!

See, sex appears to not have a deeply emotional draw to you, or so it seems. That is how you are able to share that part of yourself and your husband without worries.

However, time spent together, talking, relating, learning about one-another, etc...those are bonding activities. I am so sorry but this is bad. Seriously.

Please, if you value your marriage and relationship with your husband MORE than you value casual sexual relationships and swinging, then do yourself and marriage a MASSIVE favor and stop the contact between them.

What is happening between them is how two people fall in love. It's happening. You see it and don't fully want to believe it, so you're in mental turmoil. Face the fact.

Be aware of the reality and END the contact now if you want mental clarity and peace...and HIM! As it is, it will be hard for him- sounds like he is alread starting to fall- GO CATCH HIM!!!
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post #81 of 82 (permalink) Old 04-14-2017, 11:57 AM
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Re: Confused about husbands F buddy 😬

I was under the impression that open relationships can only work if there is also open communication. So you need to be having this conversation with him and see how he feels about it. I imagine that if your relationship is as strong as you think it will be his idea to end things with his FB.
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post #82 of 82 (permalink) Old 04-14-2017, 01:15 PM
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Re: Confused about husbands F buddy 😬

This is beyond a FB. He needs to cut her off if he wants to keep you. Plain and simple.

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