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post #1 of 14 (permalink) Old 04-13-2017, 07:26 PM Thread Starter
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Concerned

I was looking at the family cellphone bill and noticed my wife talks to some guy who lives out of town multiple times a day. I asked her about this a while back and she says they're old friends. Doesn't make sense to me. I'm thinking they're more than friends. Am i being paranoid?

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post #2 of 14 (permalink) Old 04-13-2017, 07:30 PM
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Re: Concerned

Call & ask?

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post #3 of 14 (permalink) Old 04-13-2017, 07:32 PM
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Re: Concerned

Do she ever tell yu about him? Before this

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post #4 of 14 (permalink) Old 04-13-2017, 07:59 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Concerned

Yes, she claims they are just friends, but they talk 5-6 times a day for like 20 minutes at a time. Very out of character.
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post #5 of 14 (permalink) Old 04-13-2017, 08:00 PM
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Re: Concerned

Is texting involved as well?
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post #6 of 14 (permalink) Old 04-13-2017, 08:03 PM
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Re: Concerned

Welcome TAM CWI newbies- please read this

Deejo's men's thread

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post #7 of 14 (permalink) Old 04-13-2017, 08:27 PM
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Re: Concerned

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Originally Posted by Stranger52 View Post
Yes, she claims they are just friends, but they talk 5-6 times a day for like 20 minutes at a time. Very out of character.
What possible reason could she give you,her husband,for calling another man,out of town,5-6 times a day for up to 2 hours... a man you don't even know or were even aware of previously? A reason that you could find perfectly understandable and acceptable? Seriously?

"Truth is like the sun,you can shut it out for a time,but it ain't going away"-Elvis
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post #8 of 14 (permalink) Old 04-13-2017, 08:30 PM
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Re: Concerned

Quote:
Originally Posted by Stranger52 View Post
I was looking at the family cellphone bill and noticed my wife talks to some guy who lives out of town multiple times a day. I asked her about this a while back and she says they're old friends. Doesn't make sense to me. I'm thinking they're more than friends. Am i being paranoid?
Put a stop to it now ... end of discussion. If you don't you'll be very sorry.


"If more people were judgmental, then maybe there would be less infidelity"
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post #9 of 14 (permalink) Old 04-13-2017, 08:32 PM
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Re: Concerned

No, you're not being paranoid. This strikes a chord with me, and I'll hold off any judgment but you need to get to the bottom of this.

Sadly, you're probably going to get the same answer from her if there is or isn't anything going on with this guy, because I doubt she would willingly admit doing something against the marriage.

I would ask for a name, first and last, where he currently lives and how they knew/know each other at this point, and why contact was established. The basics. If she is beating around the bush with this, I would be highly suspicious.

Then I would probably recommend going quiet and getting into intel gathering mode.

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I've heard it said before, but it appears to be true for this situation. Trust but verify.
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post #10 of 14 (permalink) Old 04-13-2017, 08:50 PM
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Re: Concerned

Your gut is telling you this is not right. Ignore it at your own peril. Talking to a man for several hours a day is totally unacceptable. Why would you allow it.

How do you know he's really distant. Could have a cell that is from another city but he could be local. Even if he is distant, they could have already gotten together. If not, they sure will try to get together at the soonest possible opportunity.

You would be blown away by the number of threads that start just like yours but turn out to be an affair. At the moment, it sounds like the beginnings of an EA. You have every right to fight for your marriage but insisting on boundaries. Talking to the opposite sex for hours a day should be considered outside of those boundaries.

You will have to go James Bond. I recommend that you get access to all her devices, social media, and email. Since you confronted her, she will likely have her guard up. Look for a burner phone. A VAR (voice activated recorder) velcroed under the passenger seat of her car can get you evidence very quickly. If she's not talking to OM, she may be confiding in some friend about having the hots for OM.

You better get moving. Strong actions get results. being understanding, opened minded, and not wanting to appear to be controlling will get you played.

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post #11 of 14 (permalink) Old 04-13-2017, 09:40 PM
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Re: Concerned

Having read on these boards for about a year, you should be.
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post #12 of 14 (permalink) Old 04-13-2017, 10:33 PM
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Re: Concerned

Concerned?

Knowing what I know now?

YES, I'd be "concerned" in the same way I'd be "a little sore" if a train ran over my leg.
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post #13 of 14 (permalink) Old 04-13-2017, 10:42 PM
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Re: Concerned

Phone sex! I learned the hard way about the dangers of being OK with your partner having a friend of the opposite sex. Took two times for me to learn that when it comes to sex, you cannot trust anyone, even a fiancee you knew for 5 years with only six months till our wedding or a best friend. Men and women are genetically designed to be attracted to more than one person, so that your genes are mixed with multiple people which ups the chance of creating a child that is best able to survive or adapt to a changing world. Man + Woman = sex and/or trouble.

Many prefer to drown in a pool of their own morality rather than seek the safety of a different morality.

Last edited by Vinnydee; 04-15-2017 at 04:30 PM.
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post #14 of 14 (permalink) Old 04-14-2017, 05:08 AM
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Re: Concerned

Does your wife call you five or six times a day? Does your wife talk with you for a couple hours everyday? I bet not.

Yes be concerned, very concerned. That kind of intimacy with a male friend will spell doom for your marriage, she is giving her time and emotional energy to him instead of you. This is about the most typical scenario that leads to physical affairs...."he's just a friend".
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