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Computer passwords

3K views 35 replies 20 participants last post by  jb02157 
#1 ·
How many on here opt to have a password on their at home computer that is not known to your spouse and how many of you share all access to the computer with your spouse and what are your reasons for each scenario?

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#3 ·
Only reason I have a password on mine is to keep my kids off my profile. My other half can have full access to my computer, but he opts not to because he doesn't want me on his. He knows it would be hypocritical to get on mine when he does not allow me to get on his. He says there is no reason for us to get on each other's computer. We each came into the relationship with our own computers, with our own passwords, and I don't think that will ever change.


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#6 ·
I don't think the question should be "who has a password on their computer that is known by their spouse and who doesn't?" because then we get into a debate on whether to even have a password.

I think the question should be "who INCLUDES their spouse on their computer activities (including forums and social media chatting) and who HIDES their computer activities from their spouse?"

My vote is that my Dear Hubby knows of, sees, and is included in all my life--including my emails, all my email addresses, all my passwords, all social media, all "chats"...everything. And equally I'm included in all of his life. So it's not like he demands it of me and doesn't share and share alike.
 
#12 · (Edited)
My position is that there should not be anything to hide from each other in a marriage. If there is, that is a problem. If you can share your naked sweating bodies, dirtiest sex secrets and do all those messy things in bed, making yourself vulnerable to each other, you can share your passwords. My wife can see my porn, posts here and in more specific sex forums, as well as anything else on my iPhone and iPad. We have no secrets and that has worked well for us for the last 44 years. So many posts here start off with, "I found some texts or emails on my spouse's phone or computer." You should never give your spouse a reason to be suspicious of you. That leads to distrust and jealousy. Never good things to make a marriage last long.
 
#14 ·
My position is that there should not be anything to hide from each other in a marriage. If there is, that is a problem. If you can share you naked sweating bodies and do all those messy things in bed, making yourself vulnerable to each other, you can share your passwords. My wife can see my porn, posts here and in more specific sex forums, as well as anything else on my iPhone and iPad. We have not secrets and that has worked well for us for the last 44 years. So many posts here start off with, "I found some texts or emails on my spouse's phone or computer." You should never give your spouse a reason to be suspicious of you. That leads to distrust and jealousy. Never good things to make a marriage last long.
Agreed


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#16 ·
Every device and account is password protected - and we share all of them so we can access any and all accounts we each have, at any time, even individual financial accounts.
 
#17 ·
And do you ever feel the need or desire to check in the on your wifes online activities? I caught hubby a few months ago watching porn. It took some time for me to come to a place of acceptance. We talked and I told him that as long as he was open and honest it wasn't a problem. Now he's out a password on his computer and I feel like there is no honesty or transparency and it's budding the hell out of me

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#20 ·
I have multiple computers, tablets, and a phone. My wife has her phone that I set up for her as well as an email, FB, and snapchat accounts for it. I've given her passwords before but she doesn't care to know them and they're long since been rotated.

The bottom line is that I would give her any password for any account if she asks for it. But she doesn't and she won't lol.
 
#22 ·
We both know each others passwords, except for our work accounts which neither of us are allowed to share.

I do have a secret account that I use to post on TAM. She may have secret accounts that I don't know about.

Each of us has the skills to hide access, and I have no intention of getting into a spy vs spy game.
 
#24 ·
I need openness and honesty in marriage, and that means full transparency. We use the same known passwords for everything. I think if you've got nothing to hide you welcome any opportunity to make sure your spouse feels safe in the marriage. So much betrayal in marriage can happen online. Spouses have a right to know what is going on in their marriage, and that includes where your partner spends their time, who they're with, and who they're talking to.
 
#30 ·
We each have our own laptops, but hubby set mine up, we both have passwords to keep our daughter off our profiles (she has her own profile on both of our computers). We both know each others passwords.

Privacy in marriage is closing the door when you go to the bathroom.
 
#32 ·
I have a password on my account on our computer. She does, too. She doesn't know mine. This stemmed from a decade's worth of her blowing up our various computers over the years. She seems to have the superpower to destroy tech without even trying. Our first few years of marriage, we were averaging a new desktop PC or major recovery efforts every 2-3 years because something would go down while/immediately after she used the computer. Since I've been the sole holder of the administrator's pw we've only changed computers when we've upgraded.

Would I give her the password? If she was adamant, but man it's expensive to have computers fixed...

There is a pw on my phone. She has it. I don't think she knows my pw for my gaming e-mail account...she could have it if she was interested in it...
 
#33 ·
Currently not married and we don't share our passwords although because I have a great memory for such things I am pretty sure I know hers. We don't look at each other's stuff. If married we would still have passwords but she could look at my stuff anytime she wanted and I with her.

Hell if she came to me today and asked to look on my phone at texts or email or whatever I would let her. I don't cheat or hide things and she knows that which is probably why we never ask to look at each other's things lol
 
#34 ·
I have passwords on my laptop and my phone, my wife doesn't know either of them. It's not so much that I don't want her accessing them, if she asks to use either I let her no problem but I open them, I don't tell her the password. There are things I look at, read and research that my wife doesn't really need to know about. Yes if she sees something and asks me about it I tell her, but things like this site are just better off as an unknown let's call it.

As for her, she has passwords on her laptop and phone as well. She does the same thing, if I need to use one of them she let's me but she doesn't tell me the passwords. And like me, her reasoning is the same, there are things like conversations with her friends or whatever that are just none of my business.
 
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