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post #1 of 36 (permalink) Old 04-15-2017, 02:52 PM Thread Starter
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Computer passwords

How many on here opt to have a password on their at home computer that is not known to your spouse and how many of you share all access to the computer with your spouse and what are your reasons for each scenario?

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post #2 of 36 (permalink) Old 04-15-2017, 03:18 PM
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Re: Computer passwords

I have no reason to password the home computer

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post #3 of 36 (permalink) Old 04-15-2017, 03:20 PM
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Re: Computer passwords

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Originally Posted by Mollymolz View Post
How many on here opt to have a password on their at home computer that is not known to your spouse and how many of you share all access to the computer with your spouse and what are your reasons for each scenario?

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Only reason I have a password on mine is to keep my kids off my profile. My other half can have full access to my computer, but he opts not to because he doesn't want me on his. He knows it would be hypocritical to get on mine when he does not allow me to get on his. He says there is no reason for us to get on each other's computer. We each came into the relationship with our own computers, with our own passwords, and I don't think that will ever change.


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post #4 of 36 (permalink) Old 04-15-2017, 03:25 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Computer passwords

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I have no reason to password the home computer

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This is how I kind of feel

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post #5 of 36 (permalink) Old 04-15-2017, 03:27 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Computer passwords

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Only reason I have a password on mine is to keep my kids off my profile. My other half can have full access to my computer, but he opts not to because he doesn't want me on his. He knows it would be hypocritical to get on mine when he does not allow me to get on his. He says there is no reason for us to get on each other's computer. We each came into the relationship with our own computers, with our own passwords, and I don't think that will ever change.


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Does it ever bother you to know you don't have access even if you wanted it? I understand that relationships need trust and people need privacy. That being said my husband put a password his computer when he didn't before and it makes me feel uneasy

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post #6 of 36 (permalink) Old 04-15-2017, 03:28 PM
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Re: Computer passwords

I don't think the question should be "who has a password on their computer that is known by their spouse and who doesn't?" because then we get into a debate on whether to even have a password.

I think the question should be "who INCLUDES their spouse on their computer activities (including forums and social media chatting) and who HIDES their computer activities from their spouse?"

My vote is that my Dear Hubby knows of, sees, and is included in all my life--including my emails, all my email addresses, all my passwords, all social media, all "chats"...everything. And equally I'm included in all of his life. So it's not like he demands it of me and doesn't share and share alike.

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post #7 of 36 (permalink) Old 04-15-2017, 03:32 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Computer passwords

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I don't think the question should be "who has a password on their computer that is known by their spouse and who doesn't?" because then we get into a debate on whether to even have a password.

I think the question should be "who INCLUDES their spouse on their computer activities (including forums and social media chatting) and who HIDES their computer activities from their spouse?"

My vote is that my Dear Hubby knows of, sees, and is included in all my life--including my emails, all my email addresses, all my passwords, all social media, all "chats"...everything. And equally I'm included in all of his life. So it's not like he demands it of me and doesn't share and share alike.
You're right. I feel like a spouse shouldn't be blocked from these things. However I also think that spouses should respect each others right to privacy without being blockaded from privacy. If that makes any sense?

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post #8 of 36 (permalink) Old 04-15-2017, 03:37 PM
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Re: Computer passwords

I could never feel confident in a relationship if this occurred. What could i possibly do on a computer that i wouldn't want my husband knowing about, and vice versa

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post #9 of 36 (permalink) Old 04-15-2017, 03:39 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Computer passwords

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I could never feel confident in a relationship if this occurred. What could i possibly do on a computer that i wouldn't want my husband knowing about, and vice versa

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I'm glad I'm not alone in feeling like this

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post #10 of 36 (permalink) Old 04-15-2017, 03:45 PM
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Re: Computer passwords

We share computers at home. So we each have our own account and password but know each other's.




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post #11 of 36 (permalink) Old 04-15-2017, 03:47 PM
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Re: Computer passwords

Only reason we have passwords is to keep the kids out as well (too tech smart now a days). Other then that we know each other's passwords to everything else.


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post #12 of 36 (permalink) Old 04-15-2017, 03:49 PM
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Re: Computer passwords

My position is that there should not be anything to hide from each other in a marriage. If there is, that is a problem. If you can share your naked sweating bodies, dirtiest sex secrets and do all those messy things in bed, making yourself vulnerable to each other, you can share your passwords. My wife can see my porn, posts here and in more specific sex forums, as well as anything else on my iPhone and iPad. We have no secrets and that has worked well for us for the last 44 years. So many posts here start off with, "I found some texts or emails on my spouse's phone or computer." You should never give your spouse a reason to be suspicious of you. That leads to distrust and jealousy. Never good things to make a marriage last long.

Many prefer to drown in a pool of their own morality rather than seek the safety of a different morality when the choice is monogamy or your marriage.

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post #13 of 36 (permalink) Old 04-15-2017, 04:02 PM
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Re: Computer passwords

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Originally Posted by Mollymolz View Post
Does it ever bother you to know you don't have access even if you wanted it? I understand that relationships need trust and people need privacy. That being said my husband put a password his computer when he didn't before and it makes me feel uneasy

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Yes, it bothers me. He and I have a difference of opinion when it comes to privacy. We aren't officially married, just common law. I would feel like I have more of a right to press the issue if we were.

You, on the other hand, have a right to feel uneasy and have a right to know the reason behind your husband adding a password without discussing it with you.


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post #14 of 36 (permalink) Old 04-15-2017, 04:05 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Computer passwords

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My position is that there should not be anything to hide from each other in a marriage. If there is, that is a problem. If you can share you naked sweating bodies and do all those messy things in bed, making yourself vulnerable to each other, you can share your passwords. My wife can see my porn, posts here and in more specific sex forums, as well as anything else on my iPhone and iPad. We have not secrets and that has worked well for us for the last 44 years. So many posts here start off with, "I found some texts or emails on my spouse's phone or computer." You should never give your spouse a reason to be suspicious of you. That leads to distrust and jealousy. Never good things to make a marriage last long.
Agreed


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post #15 of 36 (permalink) Old 04-15-2017, 04:11 PM
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Re: Computer passwords

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Originally Posted by Vinnydee View Post
My position is that there should not be anything to hide from each other in a marriage. If there is, that is a problem. If you can share you naked sweating bodies and do all those messy things in bed, making yourself vulnerable to each other, you can share your passwords. My wife can see my porn, posts here and in more specific sex forums, as well as anything else on my iPhone and iPad. We have not secrets and that has worked well for us for the last 44 years. So many posts here start off with, "I found some texts or emails on my spouse's phone or computer." You should never give your spouse a reason to be suspicious of you. That leads to distrust and jealousy. Never good things to make a marriage last long.


Totally agree.


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