I found that in a new marriage it takes some time to become truly in sync with each other. Even if you would have dated for years. Marriage is constant growth and sacrifice. And when you love someone you do your best for them. Are you being your best? Think about it. Try to be woman your husband fell in love with.
My husband has no room to complain now because
1. I never pretended to be something that I was not.
2. He knew that I was spoiled
3. I told him repeatedly that I was bad in bed.
4. When I told him I would never give him a BJ, and that I was terrible in bed, and also about my romantic sexual preferences, he is the one who should have revealed to me just how much he was into porn, masturbation and kink. He admits now that he has been a porn and masturbation addict.
5. When I told him I would need a separate bathroom, he should have realized just to what extent I was spoiled. However, he doesn't have any complain about me having my own bathroom.
6. I also told him repeatedly just how much I hated working and that I would rather pursue something like painting before we tied the knot. He said it was okay (again, that was before we tied the knot) as long as I kept myself busy with something, like painting (which he admired and encouraged before we got married, not anymore though after the marriage). Not that I needed his permission to quit something that made me so miserable, but I still waited until he said that it was okay to quit.
7. I was under the impression that he was also having a good time when he stayed up all night to watch movies. It was during the early stages of our marriage. He pretended to be having a good time. It wasn't like I forced him to or anything. The moment I realized he wasn't liking it I stopped.
I was really surprised when he proposed to me even after I revealed all my quirks and traits and just how *****y I can be and to what extent. Now I have no idea and I keep asking him whatever gave him the impression that I am a mature woman.
Trust me when I say that the girl he married would never compromise or try to change herself just to please someone else. And yet, not only am I trying to change my behavior, but also my personality - to the extent that I feel suffocated. I put on a fake smile even when he says something that deeply hurts me (man, my ex-wife looked remarkable at times), I actually ask him to call me a ***** and talk dirty, I have stopped the baby talk, I also asked him today if having pets like turtles and cats was immature and if I should get rid of them. I asked a cousin for advise and she suggested that I should act all mature infront of him, and be my fun loving self with them to relieve the stress.
I had already tried some of the suggestions in this other forum way before they were suggested in that thread (examples: sending a sexy text, wearing sexy lingerie, etc, etc) - doesn't work. And when they don't work I feel more frustrated and rejected.
Of course I want this marriage to work and I don't want a second divorce. But I just feel so angry and rejected. My confidence has been totally shattered. So finally I thought to myself - wait a minute. I think I have done enough. And maybe I yelled at him a number of times, but I have tried to make amends. So who cares what others think as long as I know that I have been honest and truthful and I have tried to the best of my ability. I shouldn't have to explain myself to anyone. If you think I am a *****, yes, I am one, and I can't help it. So thank you all for your suggestions. Wish you all all the best.