I have come to the realization that forums like TAM are very unhealthy which tend to confuse you out of your mind. So this is what I am getting from the forum replies:
1. You should try to work on becoming more mature
2. An immature person can never grow up and become mature
3. It is not you, it is him
4. It is not him, it is you
5. You should work on your marriage
6. You should let your husband go
7. Your husband has no room to complain now
8. If I were your husband I would have left you
9. It is good to take extended break from work if you can afford to and pursue a hobby
10. You quit your job and you are a terrible person.
11. Your husband was wrong to have slapped you and called you a *****
12. Can you role play and become his ***** in bed from time to time?
I am more confused now after reading your replies and hence the contempt. I guess I should make much better use of my time than spend time making posts in forums that confuse the hell out of you. Asking for suggestions from people that have never met my husband or me.
Well, you put your thread out for hundreds, if not thousands, of people to read. A few of those people took their time to reply to you. Now every person has their own mind and their own life experience. So different people will post from different points of view. That's why you are getting differ suggestions.
This is your YOUR RESPONSIBLITY comes into play. It is up to you to read the posts and take from them what makes sense to you and what does not.
If you are looking for someone who tell exactly what to do with no ambiguity, go ask your mother. I'm sure she has an opinion and will not give you all these different points of view. Then do what she tells you to do.
Another thing you could do it get some books that offer some very good insight, read them and do what the books say to do. Here are two that help a lot of people.
"Love Busters" and "His Needs, Her Needs"
And stop asking hundreds of people on the internet how to run your life, after all they are all nuts and don't even agree with each other.