Yes you are right we have trouble communicating.
Something interesting happened though. On the same evening he asked me why I do not tell him much about myself. His point was that he feels he rarely knows what is happening with me until it is so devastating that I cannot hide it anymore.
This was an interesting revelation for me.
Then we had a big quarrel about the role of talker vs. listener in a conversation where for him, as a listener, not having enough explicit information about the situation means that there is nothing to be done and he can quit the conversation.
It was about to become a big fuss, because I was insisting that I have the right to choose when/what details to share or not. And listener can be a good listener without any advice, but showing attention and empathy.
And then I gave him an example of the two types of people he has experience with (aka his family):
1- those who interrupt you to note that you are wrong, you are overreacting, you are making it up, it is not how it happened... etc
2- those who wait and try to find out why a situation has had a negative impression for you.
I told him of those days when he comes home quite worked up about his boss, saying that the boss is a dumb dude. When I ask why, he usually repeats it in a different wording not giving me the reason. Do I repeat my question?
NO. Because clearly he is not in the mindset to go over the technical reasons, I have to approach the topic from another angle until eventually he feels well enough to tell me what actually happened.
This whole example suddenly affected him. His face and tone of voice softened and he admitted that he had never thought of a conversation like that!
Seriously, I wonder sometimes... how is that even possible ?
But still, I am very happy that at least we found a common ground.