Originally Posted by Indianahoosier View Post
Hello, I am a 40 year old women from Indiana, who has been remarried a year now. I really just need support. My husband is a very attractive, very successful businesses man. He has a past history of drinking issues, which I knew about when we were married. He is currently on a buisness trip overseas and it was his last night with his team from around the world. He called me after midnight there, and I could tell he was completely drunk. We started talking and I did ask where he went to dinner and with whom. This lead to twenty minutes of him yelling at me and calling me a jerk. After a few minutes I recorded the conversation because tomorrow he won't have a clue. After about 15 minutes, I called him back and the name calling continued. Should I just ignore it, or say something? If I treated him that way, he'd be fuming! He always says, and continues to say if I made hundreds of thousands of dollars, he wouldn't care of I was out all night, drunk with men. I find this insulting and bs, he'd be furious if I was out drunk. I'm just drained and don't know what to do. Thanks
Sounds like your new H is an alcoholic or alcohol dependent. If you allow this treatment of you to continue it will destroy you unless you are a very strong person. I know because I put up with my AH and his emotional abuse and fits of violent behavior when I confronted him for years.
You can never argue with an alcoholic so it is best to avoid conversing with him when he is in that state.
It is good that you recorded him, play it back to him and see what he says. He may need to be confronted with the reality of who he is when drunk. He may be in denial.
You may have a man who will make promises to make things right but keep doing the same thing over and over, it will make you feel helpless because unless the man admits he has a problem there will be no changing, no trying to get help.
Already you are doubting your response, already he is walking over your boundaries, you will begin to accept more and more crap and expect less and less respect. Read all you can on alcoholism, understand it, read Bottled Up. com website and listen to the videos, having knowledge will help. Join the SoberRecovery.com website, lots of people there in the same position as you, share your story.
I suggest you join Al-Anon to learn how to handle your H also and to get back your peace. If you stay with him you are in for a roller coaster ride unless he gets help. You also have to realise that people who drink like this have less boundaries which can lead to infidelity issues too.