I've been going through "Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay", which I think is pretty fantastic! Prior to that, I had been weighing pros and cons for leaving versus staying, and it was driving me nuts, and not clarifying anything. The book asks questions in a simple manner, which I've been writing the answers to in a Word document.
On Friday, I saw my therapist because I'm getting closer to an answer, and wanted to share my new findings with her. I printed out my Word doc in case she wanted to see it. While talking and going through things, she asked me if H has been diagnosed with high-functioning autism. I said no, but honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if he were. It would explain a lot, that's for sure. The man is brilliant! He's brilliant book-wise, and career-wise, but when it comes to everyday things and social skills, that brilliancy goes away, and he becomes very awkward. It's uncomfortable when he interjects into conversations with things that have nothing to do with what's going on. Example: we were out for supper with my folks not too long ago. I can't remember what we were talking about, but it had nothing to do with what H brought up, which was the poo emoticon, and making that into earrings for women, and how popular those would be. It kind of stunned us all into confused silence!
I also mentioned to my therapist why I think I'm not into intimacy with H, and that's because when he first moved in with me, he went into roommate mode. Example: he would pick through the pile of dirty dishes, wash the ones he used and leave the rest for me; laundry… he'd wash up the towels he used and leave the rest for me to do. For my mistake, I let this go on for about a month, way too long. I made up excuses of "maybe he's tired, maybe he's too busy", etc., which I shared with my therapist. She countered with the best words I've heard in awhile: "you know, you're working really hard to excuse a lot of really odd behaviour". Yeah, I am.
So, I'm researching adults on the spectrum for the next little while. Anyone have any idea where the heck to start with this?
On Friday, I saw my therapist because I'm getting closer to an answer, and wanted to share my new findings with her. I printed out my Word doc in case she wanted to see it. While talking and going through things, she asked me if H has been diagnosed with high-functioning autism. I said no, but honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if he were. It would explain a lot, that's for sure. The man is brilliant! He's brilliant book-wise, and career-wise, but when it comes to everyday things and social skills, that brilliancy goes away, and he becomes very awkward. It's uncomfortable when he interjects into conversations with things that have nothing to do with what's going on. Example: we were out for supper with my folks not too long ago. I can't remember what we were talking about, but it had nothing to do with what H brought up, which was the poo emoticon, and making that into earrings for women, and how popular those would be. It kind of stunned us all into confused silence!
I also mentioned to my therapist why I think I'm not into intimacy with H, and that's because when he first moved in with me, he went into roommate mode. Example: he would pick through the pile of dirty dishes, wash the ones he used and leave the rest for me; laundry… he'd wash up the towels he used and leave the rest for me to do. For my mistake, I let this go on for about a month, way too long. I made up excuses of "maybe he's tired, maybe he's too busy", etc., which I shared with my therapist. She countered with the best words I've heard in awhile: "you know, you're working really hard to excuse a lot of really odd behaviour". Yeah, I am.
So, I'm researching adults on the spectrum for the next little while. Anyone have any idea where the heck to start with this?