Im a 38 year old male. My wife and I have been married since October 2014, but have been together since September of 2012. Im a 6ft 2 260lb good looking guy. I used to be a beta male with my wife, used to hover and orbit her trying to make her happy, only to find out I could NEVER satisfy her. So I became a member on here. I got some great help on here and got connected to some great books. The married man sex life primer, and no more mr nice guy have completely transformed me. I am now a more balanced male between alpha and beta male. However, not all is great. I am struggling to find the balance between the two. I did lose 60 lbs in the last 3 months and that really seemed to help. For a while my new Alpha male and lost weight was making a huge difference in our marriage. She became more affectionate and sweet. I would still say she is better, she does not get pissed at me much at all anymore, and speaks sweeter to me. However, I feel like she plays games with me....Hot and Cold games. She will be super sweet and physically touchy, and then retreat. She comes from a rough upbringing. Her real dad was in and out of prison, and her step dad tried to touch her. I feel like maybe a lot of the intimacy issues (closeness or lack of) stem from that. She is very affectionate with our kids, and almost acts as if I have been replaced by them. She has always accommodated me sexually, never says no to me. I am very thankful for that, but intimacy is more than lying down for someone or talking nice. I desperately want intimacy in my marriage, and in the beginning we had that, once we had kids together it has been lost. She is a stay at home mom, and we have 7 kids between the two of us, two are ours together. I don't know if it is even possible to advance the marriage any further or not, or if this is as good as it gets. I think she is very guarded, and thats why she cannot share intimacy with me. The kids are a safe bet, they will always be her kids. Ive lost 60 lbs and look pretty good, she is pretty heavy and her weight bothers her a lot. So I don't know what all is laying into us, maybe the weight, the being guarded, the kids etc. I am trying to balance the beta and alpha thing because I have swung at times to alpha where I am distant and she has to come to me. She did not like that, and it upset her a lot. She feels very insecure about her weight and the fact that I've lost so much, but will that affect intimacy? I feel like I have plateaued and need help. Thank you in advance.