I Need help! I'm at rock bottom - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 6 (permalink) Old 01-08-2012, 01:29 AM Thread Starter
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Unhappy I Need help! I'm at rock bottom

My name is Kate, I've been married for almost 5 years now, been with my husband for 7. Our marriage hasn't exactly been a fairy tale, as a matter of fact, it's been a wild roller coaster ride. Let me get to the point... My husband is the best "Mental Abuser" I've ever met. He says things that hurt me so bad, and he knows it. He always tells me that I'm lazy and he don't want me, tells me to leave, He gets these random anger spats and i have no clue why?? My hometown is 1200 miles away. He always threatens to find a girlfriend, and threatens to leave me. The things he says to me is just unbearable it tears me into pieaces, and he don't mind to say it with people around, its like he enjoys and is proud of the way he treats me. We had a few people over lastnight and he told me he was hungry, So I made him food and brought him a drink. He seen 2 girls and said " I don't know bout yall but damn look at that girls ass" everyone kind of looked at him like, are you serious? The guys kind of laughed it off, he said "I'm just saying what yall are thinking, you're too scared to say stuff like that with you're wife right there" and it really hurt my feelings. I simply said "babe please behave" he then proceeded to tell me if I didn't like it I could get the BLEEP out and called me names. I was so embarrassed and hurt. I kinda played it off and laughed a little. I had to get up and go to my room I cried my eyes out! Some of the girls waited a few mins and came in. My point is he is just so twisted in the head. He laughs at me when I cry, calls me a baby and tells me to go somewhere else and do it, when he knows damn well it's because of him. I have a 4 year old with him, I love him to death...But he has no respect for me whatsoever and i feel numb, ashamed, invisible, unwanted, alone. I need some advice.

Why would someone who "loves" you treat you this way? the better question, Why the hell do i love him so dearly and stay?

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post #2 of 6 (permalink) Old 01-08-2012, 03:20 AM
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Re: I Need help! I'm at rock bottom

My guess, you no longer have the self respect to stand up for how you deserve to be treated. And you know what the worst part of this situation is? That you're teaching your child that this is the way a marriage is supposed to be.

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post #3 of 6 (permalink) Old 01-08-2012, 03:24 AM
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Re: I Need help! I'm at rock bottom

I feel so bad for you. This man is horrible! I don't mean to hurt you even more but a man who loves a woman would never treat her this way. It seems he isn't just being careless but is putting effort into TRYING to hurt you.
A man like this wants to make a woman feel worthless and beneath him. I couldn't stay with him another moment. No woman is worth being treated and abused this way and you shouldn't allow it!
Hugs and best wishes to you. <3
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post #4 of 6 (permalink) Old 01-08-2012, 03:39 AM
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Re: I Need help! I'm at rock bottom


You know that you need to leave this man. Please get in touch with an abused woman's place where you live. They will help you put together an exit plan so that you can leave. You can most likely get free counseling from them as well.

Can you move back to your home town to be with your family?

Don't leave the state with your child until you take to the people at the abused women's place... they can give you guidance on what the laws are. They can also get you info on who to get legal aid.

Please love yourself and your child enough to do this.
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post #5 of 6 (permalink) Old 01-08-2012, 07:09 AM
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Re: I Need help! I'm at rock bottom

Kate get the hell away from this dirt bag. Dont even think twice about it. He is pure evil!
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post #6 of 6 (permalink) Old 01-08-2012, 08:25 AM
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Re: I Need help! I'm at rock bottom

You have a common abuse victim mentality. You don't really love him even though it feels that way. You need to get to a shelter. Don't use the distance to your hometown as an excuse! Just leave. If you don't feel physically safe leaving, call an abuse hotline for help.

You deserve a respectful loving relationship. You deserve way better than what you are in now.
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