You are right, you do love him. You must love him, and still have some hope to believe what he tells you. But does he love you? I don't see how he could by doing what he has done. I have never heard of a couple living apart to save money. If your instinct tells you he has another woman, that is probably right. We always worry about meeting someone who treats us worse, but we fail to remember that after every storm the sun shines. In other words things will get better. I think 4 years of compromising your happiness and being apart is enough time, I don't think you are rushing if you decide on a divorce.