So, not sure if its been said, but for some, the 25th wedding anniversary is a big deal. It appears to be a BIG deal for WOM. However, this BIG deal is like 3 months away and yet there hadn't been any kind of discussion as to what the plan would be, ideas tossed around, etc.?
Many who consider milestones like this a BIG deal start discussing and even planning typically a year out or six months out at the least. However, again this possible conflict is in conflict with an absent plan? WOM has admitted that anniversaries aren't that big a deal for wife and WOM says nothing happens unless he plans. So, wife maybe thought that it was not a BIG deal given the planner hasnt made a plan or discussed a plan(their 25 yr dynamic).
Maybe we give her a break. She asked a question given an opportunity that she's drooled over for some time. She asked "the planner" before out right deciding. She gave him the opportunity to say, "hey, me, the planner, has already made plans for our anniversary and then it would have been settled. But WOM, the planner, said nothing and got super upset instead.
IDK, poor wife was thrown to the wolves but her actions in this speaks to me as "their dynamic" or there is a deeper issue going on.