Confused... to say the least - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 28 (permalink) Old 05-17-2017, 10:16 PM Thread Starter
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Confused... to say the least

Hey all,

I've been dating this woman for about 2 months or so. Initially, I thought it was odd that I was nearly always initiating contact, however, since it was early on, I didn't question it much. About a month in I did say it's cool to contact me every now and again, and she said she would. She did for a bit and then it fell off again. So, I'd contact her every few days. Never really experienced this before, and I a new again to the dating arena, so I wasn't sure if this is par for the course. Anyway, last Monday I made plans with her for the weekend, she said great. Again, silence until Friday. Convo went well, but then after I said looking forward in seeing you tomorrow, she said well need to change that a bit. She said @ 8pm tonight (Friday) her cousin called and wanted to call a family meeting or something between a big issue with her sister, and the fam. wants her there. Time of the event, 8pm Saturday night. She then said, I can meet earlier. She knew I was working then, but then asked what time I'd be done. Basically no time. I just said I wish you would had told me earlier, so I could change my weekend plans around. She apologized for late notice and she'll keep me updated on the situation. I just said it is what it is and I hope it all works out.

Nearly a week later, silence. Ideas?

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post #2 of 28 (permalink) Old 05-17-2017, 10:21 PM
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Re: Confused... to say the least

So she never got back to you after that last comment?
May I ask her age?
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post #3 of 28 (permalink) Old 05-17-2017, 10:23 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Confused... to say the least

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So she never got back to you after that last comment?
May I ask her age?
She just said thanks. Just turned 33.
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post #4 of 28 (permalink) Old 05-17-2017, 10:25 PM
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Re: Confused... to say the least

Do you get the idea she is not into you?....right now you have more vested in this relationship than she has.
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post #5 of 28 (permalink) Old 05-17-2017, 10:25 PM
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Re: Confused... to say the least

Are you sure she is single and not married or has a boyfriend already?



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post #6 of 28 (permalink) Old 05-17-2017, 10:37 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Confused... to say the least

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Do you get the idea she is not into you?....right now you have more vested in this relationship than she has.
I thought it was weird the lack of communication and the sudden family event on Saturday @ 8pm. Hence the reason why I've not contacted her and just let the chips fall where they may. I am just second guessing myself as I do not want to make a mistake or act too hastily.

Some facts about her.

Lives with parents. Intro'd me to her parents twice. First time was by surprise. I didn't mind as I've been through this before. Is on anti-anxiety medicine (she says she's very anxious, but I've not experienced it). Has only had intercourse twice. Once at 24, then 31, and with me in end of April and two weeks ago. She cannot achieve climax during sex due to the anti-anxiety medicine.
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post #7 of 28 (permalink) Old 05-17-2017, 10:39 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Confused... to say the least

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Are you sure she is single and not married or has a boyfriend already?
Positive. Also checked the dating sites, she's not on them. So do not know if this is her personality or she's anxious, or what. She even wanted to go away with me on vacation in June (she covers her end). It just feels something isn't adding up.
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post #8 of 28 (permalink) Old 05-17-2017, 10:59 PM
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Re: Confused... to say the least

Five things add up to a whopping number. A whipping number.

1) Anti-anxiety medicine.

2) Sex only two times in her life.

3) Lives with mother.

4) Cannot have orgasm. Teils you this? Tells you her sexual statistics. All after a few dates.

5) Cannot remember what she promises. Breaks promises. Is very undependable.

Five lashes to sting the back of your mind.

This lady is among the walking wounded.

Pass on this one...unless she is fabulously rich and soon to expire.

This....This is the nub of the stick that pokes me in the eye when the light of day energizes my optic nerve....SunCMars.... The Allegory of the Cave--> On this, I did a '180' and stepped out.

The Lion in Winter. Invictus..By Will, Shall... Saved from harm by my friends.
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post #9 of 28 (permalink) Old 05-17-2017, 11:04 PM
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Re: Confused... to say the least

Easiest thing to see maybe much harder to accept. She just isn't into you. You need to move on.
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post #10 of 28 (permalink) Old 05-17-2017, 11:11 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Confused... to say the least

Just be clear, two other people, not just two times..

I figured after the "family event" @ 8pm on Saturday that she wasn't into me. She did offer to see me during the day, but I was working then heading over to her place to pick her up. Then again, why stay with me for two + months? Have intercourse multiple times, introduce me to her parents, etc.? Very strange..

Assuming she does contact me this week, what do I say? Usually, a woman who is not in to you will not have sex with you; especially when she cannot climax. Let allow state I really enjoy spending time and kissing you.. Again, makes little sense.

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post #11 of 28 (permalink) Old 05-17-2017, 11:14 PM
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Re: Confused... to say the least

I really think you sho I'd move on. Too many red flags.
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post #12 of 28 (permalink) Old 05-18-2017, 03:54 AM
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Re: Confused... to say the least

Next!

"If you deliberately plan on being less than you are capable of being, then I warn you that you'll be unhappy for the rest of your life."

~ Abraham Maslow
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post #13 of 28 (permalink) Old 05-18-2017, 05:02 AM
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Re: Confused... to say the least

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Originally Posted by itsontherocks View Post
Just be clear, two other people, not just two times..

I figured after the "family event" @ 8pm on Saturday that she wasn't into me. She did offer to see me during the day, but I was working then heading over to her place to pick her up. Then again, why stay with me for two + months? Have intercourse multiple times, introduce me to her parents, etc.? Very strange..

Assuming she does contact me this week, what do I say? Usually, a woman who is not in to you will not have sex with you; especially when she cannot climax. Let allow state I really enjoy spending time and kissing you.. Again, makes little sense.
Not really. This is call the plan b standby. You are just there until someone comes along and blows her away. Then you'll be ghosted. Bottom line is you never make someone a priority who is making you option.
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post #14 of 28 (permalink) Old 05-18-2017, 05:19 PM
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Looks like she might be contemplating on taking it forward or is not totally interested. Do not get your hopes up on this woman !!
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post #15 of 28 (permalink) Old 05-18-2017, 05:31 PM
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Re: Confused... to say the least

She has issues with commitment. That is why she tried and then fell short. Quite common now a days sadly. When they feel they are too close, they shy away. This happened to me a while back when I was dating online. Going physical also means exclusivity, so she may not be ready for that and she spooked. Especially with the parents being introduced as well.

Let it go and move on. She needs to fix her issues.

Good things come to those who wait...greater things come to those who get off their a$$ and do anything to make it happen.
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