I kinda feel the day-to-day is more important to me than one particular date. Keep in mind this is also coming from a person who was comfortable living together for years, and then not wanting the big marriage celebration in favor of an intimate ceremony, just the two of us.
However we have celebrated each year we've been together for the past 22 years; not necessarily grand, but at the very least, moments shared. It would depend on circumstance but consideration does speak volumes to me.
Birthdays we make a big deal out of and perhaps treat more special. If I relate your question to a birthday, I'd be pretty gutted if he wasn't around (if plans could otherwise be flexible). Why? Because at the heart of it, as immature as it may sound, it's about holding onto some magic in this life and expressing love. It's one way I get to express my love to him and he's the only person on the planet that is going to give a damn about celebrating with me for mine too. A birthday is simply the excuse to focus on the other person. I love that - both the giving and receiving. It's joyful and fun and worth celebrating!
I don't think it's immature. And even if it were, if it's working for you, why not?
As I have been reflecting on this thread, I've come to realize that it is our expectations that often influence our happiness.
If we expect our spouse to prioritize a certain day the same way we do, and they don't, we will likely feel disappointed. We may even feel betrayed. And we may feel justified in that feeling of betrayal.
But where is that going to take us?
I certainly believe that we should be honest and direct with our spouses. Clear and direct communication can prevent and resolve so many difficulties.
But after we've been clear and direct, I think it's a good idea to let our spouses make their own decisions. If we force our way or guilt our way into something, is it going to be very satisfying anyway?
Replacing entitlement ("I have needs, therefore you must meet them") with gratitude ("Wow, that was really thoughtful! Thank you so much for offering that to me! I know you did not have to do it!") could really up our level of happiness in an otherwise distressing situation.